# How to get GF motivated (y'all would know)



## austincrx (Oct 22, 2008)

Figure i wouldn't waste my time by posting in the lounge:

Bought my girlfriend a mountain bike for her birthday, and she doesn't ride it, at all. she says that she is too scared to ride on a trail because of the bumps; but she also says she wants to ride more so her and I can do something fun together. My first thought from this was that she is wanting to do this for the wrong reasons, but I figure it won't hurt to take her out to the trails even if she only does it cause I do it. The first time out, she just walked, basically, except for the part that was on a dirt road. She says she is scared she will fall becuase she hasn't ridden a bike in a while, but yet, she won't ride on her own, only with me.

How can I get her motivated to ride more, or should I just drop it and let her do what she wants?

And one more thing (not to say anything bad about my gf, but): she's a little on the heavy side, and wants to ride as exercise also. we've been going to gym together for about a month. maybe this is playing a major role.

thanks Gals!


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## MikeBiker (Mar 9, 2003)

You really can't motivate someone to do something that they don't want to do. If the girlfriend bought you some knitting needles, would you start knitting?


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## hoehnt (Nov 7, 2008)

Tell her no sex until she starts riding


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## thinkcooper (Jan 5, 2005)

Try out a tandem.


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

Are there any multi use bike paths in your area? That might be a good place to start, at least until she's more comfortable with her bike skills.


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

You're never going to get her to ride the trails with you, so you might as well give up that dream. A mountain bike was probably not the best idea. Still, a mountain bike is still a bike, and works just fine on MUTs and on the street. If you really want to get her into cycling, you're going to have to make a commitment to riding with her. That's hard to do for experienced cyclists, because you'll have to stick to boring streets or MUTs, or if you are lucky, easy dirt roads. You'll almost certainly have to ride a lot slower and wait a lot more than you would if you were riding alone or with your buddies. You're going to have to motivate her, and teach her skills and safety tip, and where to ride. It's going to be work for you, and it can end up straining your relationship if one or both of you don't have the right attitude. But with a lot of time, patience, and motivation, your GF may end up becoming a cyclist, and eventually getting to where she can ride the trails. Be careful what you wish for!


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## austincrx (Oct 22, 2008)

"Be careful what you wish for!"

I got it. she just seems to want to ride, but doesn't make an effort to do it on her own. I'm in no position to make her do anything. I guess if she really wants to ride, she will ask if we can go ride. But until then, the bike will sit on her front porch, and make a mockery of me, haha.

Thanks!!

as for multi-use trails, it's pretty-much all or nothing here. We have a Forest with difficult trails, and we have roads, that's it. But it would be nice if she rode it to class or something (we are in college) like I do, but she won't. oh well.


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## Andrea138 (Mar 10, 2008)

^What Sog & Mohair said^

If she's scared of bumps now, chances are she will never have the cojones to enjoy riding trails.


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## indysteel (Jul 21, 2006)

First, get her comfortable riding on a MUT or on low traffic roads. That may be as far as she ever goes. Second (assuming she still wants to try MTBing), enroll her in a beginner MTB skills clinic. We actually have one here that's just for women. See if there's anything like that in your area. I don't MTB but if I ever decided to, that's where I'd start.


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## GerryR (Sep 3, 2008)

First question I have is did she want the bike in the first place or did you want her to have a bike? If she never said "I would like to have a bike so I could ride," I think this whole project may be doomed. As long as she doesn't complain about you going off riding, I wouldn't worry about it. If she starts complaining about the time you spend riding, then you need to re-examine the relationship.


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## orbit (Feb 7, 2007)

She's scared, has no confidence in ability to handle the bike, probably doesn't want to make a fool of herself, nor hurt herself and wants you there for reassurance and to help her in case she does fall... from what you've said, getting her past that is going to be difficult. Mohair's post pretty much nailed what you're in for!

If you decide to stick with it, as others have suggested forget about the trails until her confidence on the bike grows, take her out on quiet roads only. Ride slowly, stay with her and don't bombard her with too many instructions.

Try and incorporate riding into things you do together - where possible, ride when you would normally drive. And can you meet up and ride together to class, even if its a little out of your way? If she can get used to riding the route with you, then she is more likely to tackle it on her own.

Best of luck.


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## OneGear (Aug 19, 2005)

Ride for fun, answer her questions, stay with her at all times, and take the easiest roads. Make small talk and don't let things that annoy you on the road normally, show. Never push anything on her, and you may come out of this one winning. Save the hard rides for solo's or with your friends. Listen to Mohair and the rest of the gang, goodluck.


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## jorgy (Oct 21, 2005)

Any mountain biking clinics in your area? She might be into that and I think having a neutral instructor would be a good idea. I wouldn't want my BF barking at me if I was nervous about something.


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## Kawboy8 (Feb 26, 2006)

jorgy said:


> Any mountain biking clinics in your area? She might be into that and I think having a neutral instructor would be a good idea. I wouldn't want my BF barking at me if I was nervous about something.



lol....he was barking?


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## OneGear (Aug 19, 2005)

Kawboy8 said:


> lol....he was barking?


when guys do sports with ladies, it can seem that way. guy's don't think it's barking, but ladies have more sensitive ears.

ever seen the tension between bf/gf on a rec/social sports team?


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## Touch0Gray (May 29, 2003)

( you could tell her that your wife rides?)


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## austincrx (Oct 22, 2008)

The whole reason we went to get a bike was because she said she wanted one, or else I wouldn't have spent the money; as for complaining: she understands that I enjoy riding, and that I'm going to go ride, whether she likes it or not. But I don't blow her off if something important comes up. I think that's what keeps her from complaining.

As for riding to class, she lives off campus, I live on campus. So it's convenient for me to ride to class, but not for her. 

No clinics in the area, only 'leisure skills' classes on mtb'ing, which are for 'everyone' (not really).

Thanks for all the help!


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## Loraura (Jun 30, 2008)

Get her on the bike. Knock her over. Help her up. Tell her "See? It's not so bad to fall. You're fine! Let's go!"


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## Sashana (Dec 19, 2007)

My husband won't ride on trails either. And for the same reasons your gf stated. He is willing to ride on roads, dirt or paved. I used to push him to ride trails and it was futile. He's fine with me riding offroad so I no longer push it. He does a couple 2 hour road rides(on his mtb)per week, and I ride my roadie. It's still fun though I do longer harder road rides, and mtb, on my own so it's just fun to ride whatever with my husband. He's just not a 'cyclist' he just happens to ride a bike now and then.

My $.02 is, do what SHE wants to do as far as riding with you and go with the flow. Maybe she will become a 'cyclist' later on, just ride bikes with her for now with no expectations. It's fun!

Sashana


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## chatterbox (Nov 19, 2006)

I commute, and I road bike, and I'm getting into cross races, but I have a paralyzing fear of mountain biking. I did it once, was ok on the really easy part (think the bunny slopes) but anything else I walked. I went into it thinking I'd like it, having been commuting by bike for over a year, totally positive. I got to my first dip in and out of a creek bed (ravine, as far as I could tell) and absolutely froze. And this was about 10 yards in. I didn't know I was going to have that reaction, I'd rather not, but I am terrified of the whole process.

So I'd go for a spin around the neighborhood. Heck, _drive_ somewhere and do an easy ride. But she won't take the initiative on her own b/c right now it's prohibitively scary. If you plan a picnic or a ride to the movies or something like that, then she's got a better shot at enjoying herself. But what everyone else here has said holds. Don't push.


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## Mdm. Dabalot (Apr 30, 2007)

Check out the women's lounge on mtbr.com. This is constantly addressed and may be more useful than asking on a roadie site. Not that the advice here isn't bad - except the one about pushing her over!


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## Pbrink (Jul 9, 2008)

Well, I'm assuming you're a Clemson student. (me too!) There are some pretty easy rides that might be worth trying around here. There's a real easy trail around Secret Beach, on Old Cherry Road, that wouldn't be bad to bike out to, around, and back. I took a non-cycling buddy out there once and he really enjoyed it. Also, just the paved paths around the Botanical Gardens are pretty fun and easy.


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## indianabob (Dec 22, 2001)

Dude,

Had to chime in. Many years ago, I bought a girlfriend a bike for the wrong reasons, she never rode it, we broke up soon (mostly other reasons), and she promptly sold the bike (about a $700 Trek).

Last year I bought my wife a bike, and while she'd be healthier with the exercise, I'm hands off about it. If she wants to ride with me, she'll ask. If not, the most I'll say is something like, "sure looks nice out there, think I'll go for a quick ride."

1. You can put all the pink handlebar tape and cute junk you want on the bike, but if she doesn't want to ride, leave her alone. It has to be her choice.

2. When you ride, go slow, don't talk about cadence, HRMs, or the wonders of carbon forks; most chicks yawn at geek-speak. Just ride, go her pace, talk about almost anything BUT biking, and make it fun. Maybe a quick (nice) comment if she's stuggling in a 120 inch gear, but that's it.

3. (this is the important one) Examine your reasons for wanting her to ride. If you think she's chubby, want her to lose weight, and are accused of nagging her, do both of you a favor and consider finding a new girlfriend.

Good luck!!!


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## cyclust (Sep 8, 2004)

Plan a weekend trip to a real nice rails-to-trails facility. Pack a lunch, camera, all that stuff. Just have a nice leisurely ride. Stop and take in all the scenic views. If you have some binoculars, take them to view wildlife. Have a trailside picnic. It just might be the most enjoyable ride YOU have ever been on, and she might just see how much fun cycling can be, when cycling is not the only focus.


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## Cross Chained (Jun 2, 2008)

Two words: weight loss.

Worked for me!


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

Cross Chained said:


> Two words: weight loss.
> 
> Worked for me!


I gotta admit that having people notice you've put on a few pounds is a huge motivator to ride. :blush2:


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