# I have a MAN question...first road bike



## madferrett (May 23, 2007)

How do you keep your penis from being sucked back in? It feels like my penis is inverting. Is this normal? This is a real question. I noticed this on my first ride and now I'm not really looking forward to the next one.


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## John Nelson (Mar 10, 2006)

What are you wearing?


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## madferrett (May 23, 2007)

John Nelson said:


> What are you wearing?


Cannondale shorts I use with my mountain bike. Saddle is "Specialized Comp Road, full padding" on my '07 Specialized Allez.


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

madferrett said:


> How do you keep your penis from being sucked back in? It feels like my penis is inverting. Is this normal? This is a real question. I noticed this on my first ride and now I'm not really looking forward to the next one.


 It must be all those female hormones you've been taking...doesn't happen to me. Inverting? Like going up into itself? Weird...


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## KenB (Jul 28, 2004)

Are you sure the saddle is on the seat post?


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## cydswipe (Mar 7, 2002)

*Could be a couple of things....*

First off, tit sounds like a FIT problem. Maybe your bike seat doesn't FIT properly. That could cause an inversion. Secondly, I'd check to see if your lipstick isn't mixing with your Gatorade for an allergic reaction. That could also cause a troll like inversion. Otherwise, just get a new flux capacitor. Carbon and ball bearings, it's all ball bearings these days.


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## GirchyGirchy (Feb 12, 2004)

You need to check your FIT, FIT, FIT for your BITS, BITS, BITS!#*&%

LOLOITWUWOEKLJ!


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## nrs-air (Jan 23, 2007)

Just rub some magnesium on it dude. For real. It'll make it longer, too.


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## den bakker (Nov 13, 2004)

madferrett said:


> How do you keep your penis from being sucked back in? It feels like my penis is inverting. Is this normal? This is a real question. I noticed this on my first ride and now I'm not really looking forward to the next one.


The damage is done. 
You have caught what is known as "clitoritis". In two weeks that is all you will have there.


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## Dave Hickey (Jan 27, 2002)

When someone has a fit problem, we usually ask to have them post a picture.......


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## Mapei (Feb 3, 2004)

I ain't ashamed to say it's been happening to me ever since I began riding back in the 1970's. It's made no difference what saddle I've used or what bike I've ridden on, be it mountain or road. It tends to happen when you're putting a lot of effort into your pedaling. The cure: reach into your shorts and maneuver it back out.


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

It takes constant adjustment. Be discrete.


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## newbie13 (Feb 13, 2007)

*Omg Lmao*



KenB said:


> Are you sure the saddle is on the seat post?



nice!


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## bikeboy389 (May 4, 2004)

Mapei said:


> I ain't ashamed to say it's been happening to me ever since I began riding back in the 1970's. It's made no difference what saddle I've used or what bike I've ridden on, be it mountain or road. It tends to happen when you're putting a lot of effort into your pedaling. The cure: reach into your shorts and maneuver it back out.


I'd like to be a tough man and deny that I get the turtle syndrome, but I can't. What can I say, I'm a grower, not a shower. I don't mess with it--it all sorts itself back out when the shorts come off. It's normal, if a little unnerving--something about sitting all leaned forward like that.


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## RipTide (May 4, 2007)

Dave Hickey said:


> When someone has a fit problem, we usually ask to have them post a picture.......


No you didn't.


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## yarble (Dec 16, 2005)

after a hard ride my genitals resemble a naked mole rat that has gone without food for several days.


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## Albino (Mar 24, 2007)

It's the first step in transitioning from MTB to a roadie. Certain body parts just aren't needed on a road bike. Just don't tell your MTB friends. :blush2: 

But seriously here's the fix:

Tape a photo of a hot naked chick to your stem. Ah...or guy, which ever you prefer. This day and age who knows?


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## S2H (Jul 10, 2005)

Get a Mac.

If that doesn't help, Try Firefox.

If that doesn't help, ask flatbar.

If he doesn't know, ask Kerry Irons.

If KI can't help, give up cycling.


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## S2H (Jul 10, 2005)




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## DrRoebuck (May 10, 2004)

Scotty2Hotty said:


> Get a Mac.
> 
> If that doesn't help, Try Firefox.
> 
> ...


Dying.


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## boon (Dec 14, 2005)

there was a very similar thread a few months back. i think the suggested solution was duct tape.


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

boon said:


> there was a very similar thread a few months back. i think the suggested solution was duct tape.


If you can't fix it with duct tape it just may not be worth fixin'!


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## bonkmiester (Sep 23, 2005)

*real men don't have this problem.....*

.............

















*well maybe sometimes an adjustment is needed.....









*


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## California L33 (Jan 20, 2006)

RipTide said:


> No you didn't.


My favorite "too much information" picture. But seriously, you do occasionally have to make adjustments. And as others have said- make sure everything fits. There's a place for everything, and everything should be in its place. Plan B is Lance's secret training method. (Anyone want to buy a saddle actually used by the famous Mr. Armstrong?)


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## KenB (Jul 28, 2004)

yarble said:


> after a hard ride my genitals resemble a naked mole rat that has gone without food for several days.



Everyone's looks like that after a hard ride but I think the OP was talk about riding his _bike_.


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## handsomerob (Oct 5, 2005)

yarble said:


> after a hard ride my genitals resemble a naked mole rat that has gone without food for several days.


or a scared turtle...

to the OP... is this only in colder temperatures?


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## Pwnt (Aug 24, 2006)

Clothes pin?


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## colker1 (Jan 2, 2003)

watch nature. dogs...they lick their own genitals for a reason. you can do it.


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## JP (Feb 8, 2005)

I'm not sure I agree with the duct tape comment. Sometimes you need a zip tie. They each have their place.


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## madferrett (May 23, 2007)

I assure you, this is no troll.

No this was my first ride and this was in warm weather. And the turtle comparisons are pretty accurate. A buddy of mine suggested tighter shorts. I'm not going to ask my LBS.

What about the fit could be wrong? Should I move my seat forward or what? Thanks for the responses...apparently this does happen to higher postcount people too.


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## FrontRanger (May 19, 2004)

madferrett said:


> I assure you, this is no troll.
> 
> No this was my first ride and this was in warm weather. And the turtle comparisons are pretty accurate. A buddy of mine suggested tighter shorts. I'm not going to ask my LBS.
> 
> What about the fit could be wrong? Should I move my seat forward or what? Thanks for the responses...apparently this does happen to higher postcount people too.


I would suggest looser shorts. And don't stay seated the whole time.


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## innergel (Jun 14, 2002)

madferrett said:


> I assure you, this is no troll.
> 
> No this was my first ride and this was in warm weather. And the turtle comparisons are pretty accurate. A buddy of mine suggested tighter shorts. I'm not going to ask my LBS.
> 
> What about the fit could be wrong? Should I move my seat forward or what? Thanks for the responses...apparently this does happen to higher postcount people too.


It must be something about your anatomy that makes it happen. It happens to me on occassion as well. It's disconcerting, to say the least, but it sorts itself out. No ill effects. 

You can try different shorts or a different saddle or lowering your seat a little, but I doubt that will help much. Frequent, discreet adjustments are the key. And stand up more often.


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## Antonio_B (Dec 9, 2005)

*Let's see:*

View attachment 88792


_*1 o'clock; no o'clock; 11 o'clock; 1 o'clock; 10 o'clock*_


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## ericm979 (Jun 26, 2005)

I've had that happen a few times. It's kind of wierd but doesn't appear to hurt anything. Snug fitting road shorts help keep things in place, so that's what I'd recommend. I would not move the saddle- it should be placed to give you the best biomechanical advantage on the pedals. But changing saddles may help. Is your saddle level? If it is tipped down then you will be sliding forward, and that could cause your shorts to get pulled too tight in the crotch. The same is true to a lesser extent if the reach to the bars is too far. Although since you are new to road riding you may just need to get used to a longer reach. Remember to bend forwards from the hips, don't arch your back.


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## California L33 (Jan 20, 2006)

madferrett said:


> I assure you, this is no troll.
> 
> No this was my first ride and this was in warm weather. And the turtle comparisons are pretty accurate. A buddy of mine suggested tighter shorts. I'm not going to ask my LBS.
> 
> What about the fit could be wrong? Should I move my seat forward or what? Thanks for the responses...apparently this does happen to higher postcount people too.


If the turtle thing is accurate, then look at the picture of the Polish team that's been posted a couple of times. The guy second from the left probably has the same problem- wrong position pushing in. When I was swimming, with trunks at least as tight as cycling shorts, the two accepted positions were down, over the jewel sack, or up and over. I don't think down would be a good position for cycling. 

I don't wear cycling gear that tight. I'm not racing and don't need absolute aero. I have had movement problems, but again, that's just a brief correction, usually some form of up and over does the trick. If your shorts are so tight that there's no movement, then I'd suggest an occasional adjustment just to make sure you're not cutting off blood flow. Numbness is never acceptable. And speaking of blood flow, you do have a saddle with a cut-out, right. I'm just wondering if a lack of blood flow could be causing thinks to shrink a bit and push in.


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## dadat40 (Mar 27, 2007)

maybe a ''hose clamp'' . stretch willie out and clamp in the extended position.


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## Dave_Stohler (Jan 22, 2004)

Go to your local 'sex shop'. They have ...umm.....these little leather straps that you can put around your....ummm....you know.......
Hey, they would probably work!


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