# Loveeee........



## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

Hello ladies,

I'm in over my head about this and I thought, who better to ask then women themselves..

Ok, I'm 21 years old, in college and am crazy about this girl.

I knew her about 4 years ago but it was just a '' I've seen you, you've seen me kinda thing ''

Then, this year, back in April I think (or was it March). There was this event and some of us went for dinner and this girl was there too. It was the first time we really talked and, from the very first moment we did, I immediately knew there was this something special about her that made me attracted to her and wanted to get to know her better. 

Since then, we do chat occasionally when we see each other around and all and there was this once I gave her some baked cookies in the midst a period when she was having some papers. 

I have cycled to her place (ah the joys of having a road bike!   ) on a few occasions to give her chcolates and talk for a while or so. (she lives about 4 miles from where I do)

Ok, situation - well, I'm crazy for this girl and I know there's just this something wonderful about her. I know I've gotta talk to her more and all that but I'm not sure how or what I should do??? It's driving me NUTS I tell you.

She's just this awesome girl whose smile would suffice in leading me home on a ride in the night without any headlights or whatsoever.

What to do ladies???????


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

uzziefly said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> I'm in over my head about this and I thought, who better to ask then women themselves..
> 
> ...


not a lady, but have you tried asking her out on a date? That seems like obvious advice to me....


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

OF COURSE i know you ain't a lady jones  

Well, I wanna, but I'm not sure if I should yet. Should I make more subtle moves first? Should I try something more? She's the only one I've ever felt this way about and obviously, I don't wanna screw it up.

For some strange reason or coincidence, I've been watching several movies/tv shows and all which have VERY nice ideas and all.. 

Should I try and sweep her off her feet? etc... You see my conundrum/problem? 

Guys are of COURSE welcome to post on this too..... 

:mad2:


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

Sheesh uzzie, ask her out already for goodness sakes! The two of you have already been seeing each other socially. This should be for dinner or something. No lunch. Lunch means "we're just friends". Dinner tells her you want to get serious. 

When you ask her maybe you could say something like what you posted in your OP here. Something like "from the very first moment, I immediately knew there was this something special about you that made me attracted to you and want to get to know you better." Be a gentleman. 

Try to remember all the manners stuff your mom and dad taught you. Smooth your hair down, wear a belt and tuck in your shirt. And show up with some flowers or chocolates or something. 

Keep in mind that as things are now, you are not dating her. So you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain by working up the courage to ask her out. 

And... if when you ask her out, she looks at you with a horrified look on her face and runs out of the room, hey at least you tried.

Good luck. :thumbsup:


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## lspangle (Aug 30, 2004)

*Wait they said, plus...*

...if you ask her to go to a movie and then dinner, at least you'll have something to kick off the conversation.


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## wayneanneli (Jul 8, 2004)

Courage my friend, courage. Really, take il sogno's advice, you have nothing the loose. Just be a gentleman and be polite. You have to ask to know.
Good luck.
Cheers, Wayne


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

il sogno said:


> Sheesh uzzie, ask her out already for goodness sakes! The two of you have already been seeing each other socially. This should be for dinner or something. No lunch. Lunch means "we're just friends". Dinner tells her you want to get serious.
> 
> When you ask her maybe you could say something like what you posted in your OP here. Something like "from the very first moment, I immediately knew there was this something special about you that made me attracted to you and want to get to know you better." Be a gentleman.
> 
> ...


Well yeah I wanna ask her out that's for sure.. But I'm not sure if it's the right time or not though. 

I know, I know, I should just grit my teeth and ask her out. It's simple right? "Hey, would you like to catch a movie say maybe this weekend or so?"

But it's HARDER then I thought!!! I've asked other girls out before but somehow, with this one, I don't have the guts to. And, I don't wanna ruin the situation too but then again... 

It's crazy :mad2: 

Oh yeah, a short story: a few months back, I was riding my hybrid to school and for some strange reason, I unclipped one foot, but leaned in the OTHER direction and BAM, I hit the kerb. Cut my right knee pretty bad (required 3 stitches in the end) and I went to school in a bloody mess, literally. I put my bike near the track and went upstairs and asked her to help me get some dressing. She ran to get some and helped me dress the wound. (Who said getting hurt was always a bad thing eh?)

Oh and recently, when I crashed my bike and hit my head and cracked my Atmos and got a minor concussion, she was worried out of her wits. 

Ok back to present time.. I was thinking of burning a CD for her with some songs that well, would be appropriate. 

Why's it so easy to ask others out but not her?? It sucks that I find it hard. I'm normally the well, kinda suave guy who's a nice guy and who doesn't find it hard to talk to girls. Sorta. 

Maybe I'll find an excuse to ride to her place and see her and ask her out or so.. 

Oh and, just an insight on the type of girl she is: Athletic, pretty, smart, nice, friendly, semi-rock chick in a way, 5'5'' or so. 

Thanks for all the posts so far guys/ladies.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

chicks love it when you ignore them.
no lie.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

well yeah kinda true i guess... but i'm not really sure what to do...


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

when I was your age, I looked around at the guys getting the girls, and they were jerks. the better looking the girl, the bigger the jerk.
sorry, ladies, it's true. or, true enough.
what I finally realized is that it wasn't the jerk-iness they were attracted to as such, but the confidence. jerks didn't care what anyone thought. THAT chicks do dig.

so, I adopted this perspective -- I wouldn't worry so much about whether I was projecting confidence, because that's self-defeating, but I would like myself, and I wouldn't hide it. And if someone wanted to come join my party, cool, if not, that ould be cool, too. That's not about being a jerk -- you can be a good guy. but you have to let others know that you like yourself. Not in a vain way, but letting yourself think that you're worth it.
you can't approach this woman as a thing without which you'll die. And don't stalk, either. just have a good time, and invite her to your good time.
got that?


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

Ah I read this somewhere.. Yeah I guess I'll ask her out for a movie or something sometime... 

Sometimes I just feel like I could ask her but sometimes I'm all like, err, maybe not now... Maybe I should wait...


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## BozemanboB (Jun 13, 2006)

uzziefly said:


> Oh yeah, a short story: a few months back, I was riding my hybrid to school and for some strange reason, I unclipped one foot, but leaned in the OTHER direction and BAM, I hit the kerb. Cut my right knee pretty bad (required 3 stitches in the end) and I went to school in a bloody mess, literally. I put my bike near the track and went upstairs and asked her to help me get some dressing. She ran to get some and helped me dress the wound. (Who said getting hurt was always a bad thing eh?)
> 
> Oh and recently, when I crashed my bike and hit my head and cracked my Atmos and got a minor concussion, she was worried out of her wits.


Good heavens, man, stop crashing your bike. Think about riding your bike when you're riding your bike, and not about her! (Read that as you wish  ) Crashing your bike is tough on your bike and it's tough on you.

But it seems to be a good ice breaker for you. So, ah, do what works for you, then. Just crash more carefully. Or something.  


Above all: ASK HER OUT. You've now gotten yourself so worked up over this whole affair that you're too afraid to do anything about it. Get over it, realize that you are worthy of her company, and go ask her out. Don't let the opportunity slip away, for you may someday regret it and you will likely never forget that you were so fearful of something that is, you will eventually realize, not that big a deal. (Ask me how I know.) 

Now go ask her out!


BozemanboB


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## Art853 (May 30, 2003)

Take her to dinner and impress her with how much you can eat.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

BozemanboB said:


> Good heavens, man, stop crashing your bike. Think about riding your bike when you're riding your bike, and not about her! (Read that as you wish  ) Crashing your bike is tough on your bike and it's tough on you.
> 
> But it seems to be a good ice breaker for you. So, ah, do what works for you, then. Just crash more carefully. Or something.
> 
> ...



First time was really dumb.. Second crash was well, I hit the rear wheel of the guy while drafting.. (None of those were intentional I can tell you that!) And, I wasn't thinking of her when I crashed... Only a while AFTER... 

So yeah anyway, I guess you're right... It's not like I'm trying to make conversation and she's trying to get out of it now... I guess the next step would be to ask her out sometime pretty soon. Now, to plan something... 

Thanks :thumbsup:


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## lonefrontranger (Feb 5, 2004)

sorry to interject my not-so-humble opinion here, bill but...

uzzie dude. take it from a woman. chicks... well at least the sorts of chicks you'd like to associate with, truly do not dig jerks.

as for the lady in question. holy crow ask her out already! i'd hang onto the idea of a mix CD for after you go out with her on a 'real' date mostly 'cos it'll be more personal and intimate once you have any sort of real connexion. but from what you've already posted here it sounds as tho she may think rather highly of you.

<small>oh and dude... uh, not to state the painfully obvious but why in the nine million names of god would you listen to dudes answering a question in a WOMEN'S forum that was SPECIFICALLY DIRECTED at the girls... i mean they've already proven they don't follow directions and you're gonna take advice... oh hell nevermind </small>  

*ahem*

okay. yes, there is absolutely a class of chicks who do dig jerks.  nevertheless, young jedi: these are not the droids you're looking for. 

for further insight, I direct you towards this rather enlightening craigslist entry. now, not all girls act like this. it sounds as tho you possibly have lucked onto a sensible one. if this is the case, jerkish behaviour is the one thing guaranteed to send her hightailing it to the nearest exit.

this does not, however, mean you should act clingy and desperate and, immediately upon acceptance of her favour, send 1,276,834 txts-per-hour just to say 'whats up?'. um, just be yourself dude. oh and I wouldnt be so embarrassed that you crashed and she was there to pick up the bits. cripes my 21 year old friend Frye wads it up on his fixte on average of about once a week and i swear to god he has six or seven hundred of the fairest young damsels in Denver falling at his feet. and quite frankly he kinda resembles a toast rack with bedhead (well and roadrash, too), so if he can manage to impress girls certainly you can.

as for the chicks who go for that particular species of chicks-dig-jerks asshattery? let them eat fratboys, I say.


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## MellowDramatic (Jun 8, 2006)

uzziefly said:


> But it's HARDER then I thought!!! I've asked other girls out before but somehow, with this one, I don't have the guts to.


And that, my friend, is how you know she's a good one.

As for the CD idea, I'd save that until after you get more romantically involved with each other...it's a great compliment for a birthday or anniversary gift...music is great.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

it's all about the confidence, not so much the jerkiness. although if it's too easy come, it's too easy go. that's true, too. valuing yourself includes valuing your time, and your words, and your sense of humor, and your options, etc., etc. and when we're talking about teens and twenties, sometimes it seems that the only ones with confidence are the ones too thick to realize that they are indeed jerks. the sensitive ones are road kill. 
heck, I was trying to explain things to a _young _jedi. sometimes you have to _simplify_.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

. . . and the reason why he should listen to us instead of youse is that, this may sting a little bit, just look the other way it will be over soon -- you all don't know what you want. how many times have you seen your friends, be honest now, get all wrapped around the axle of a love train disaster. "I know he's poisin for me, but I just can't help it." Ever hear that one?
sometimes, we guys want to be _that _guy. and you all can say what you want all you want, but we might just have a better eye on what works, because the proof is, you know, who's making who breakfast in the morning.
I was the nice guy for a long time, and I got tired of beautiful women telling me what a nice guy I was but going out or going home with absolute jerks. So I started being a bit of a jerk. And you know what? It worked. Shallow, inconsiderate, even a little cruel at times, all that -- and when I was 23, it was fabulous. Now, personally, it got old rather fast, but I learned a bit about myself and about life in the process.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

*Finally*



lonefrontranger said:


> sorry to interject my not-so-humble opinion here, bill but...
> 
> uzzie dude. take it from a woman. chicks... well at least the sorts of chicks you'd like to associate with, truly do not dig jerks.
> 
> ...



a woman speaks her mind...  Thank you.. yes I posted this specifically for advice from women but of course, guys with good experiences are also welcome  (now, we all gotta live in harmony don't we? at least we want to..I want to :thumbsup: )

And yes, I would like more input from more women please, thank you ladies. 

So, that said, yeah I definitely wanna ask her out alright. After my exams end on December 1st.. Hers end 11/24 damn it... (which means i have a longer ordeal of studyin etc. etc. etc.)

Oh an update : I called her to ask how she was faring so far with the exams and went over to her place for a while to collect some notes. (I lost my old set and perfect, she still uses hers  )
Wow she looked really nice... Like, I dunno, something about her after not seeing her for a while now.. Oh and she had like, new earrings, new glasses and longer hair now... NICE... 

Ok back to reality... Well........ You ladies/guys might already know/or not of my plan to go to Australia this December for a vacation with a good buddy of mine for a few weeks. I guess I should ask/try to ask her out before I go then?


I was initially thinking of giving her the CD thingy before her exams as sort of a relaxation kinda thing but I procrastinated, forgot and now, I guess it won't make much sense now would it? (intended to put some well, 'inspirational' and pumping songs just to ease it up)

I could of course give her back her notes and add a flower together now can't I? Good idea? No? Personally, I think yes... What else can I do while returning her notes?



Yeah Bill, I know she's a good one. In fact, well, heck, she's a great one.. Smart, tanned, athletic (cross country and 800m), nice, friendly, easy to talk to, pretty, and more. Her being 5'5'' or so doesn't hurt either..

Ironically, when it comes to her, I somehow have the guts to approach her and talk and all vs. other girls that I used to like and such but YET, I don't know how to ask her out.

I feel like I should be more subtle at times, yet forwarding. I wanna do something that'll sweep her off her feet but it's gotta be at the right time of course... Not sure what broom is needed ( Alex Hitch from the movie Hitch)

Today I told her she looked nice and she smiled and said '' Yeah, I know, fatter right? "

I was like, ''No, you look nice" and she was like ''yeah fatter right?''
:idea: WHAT??? I then said, no no, I mean nice, not fat.. (what the heck?? I said nice and she says fatter??? huh???? ok nvermind)

she got the point and finally said thanks... 


How do I know she's not 'just another girl' or 'someone new' (since we only spoke this year somewhere in March/April)? Well, coz her smile captures my heart, her eyes hold my gaze, her voice drowns the surrounding sounds and being around her just makes the day a LOT better. I never planned to chase her or like her, it just happened.. 

I thought it was a small crush and all, but instead, I fell in love with her...

SHEESH!


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

lonefrontranger said:


> as for the lady in question. holy crow ask her out already! i'd hang onto the idea of a mix CD for after you go out with her on a 'real' date mostly 'cos it'll be more personal and intimate once you have any sort of real connexion. but from what you've already posted here it sounds as tho she may think rather highly of you.



I hope she thinks rather highly of me..What made you say so? Curious here


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## Henry Porter (Jul 25, 2006)

Stop posting whether or not you should ask her. It's simple. Ask her out to figure out whether she is interested or not. The longer you wait the more likely you'll fall into the friends category. Waiting to hear our opinion is nothing but a waste of time. As it's been said, those who ask have a chance. Those who just post about it on an internet messageboard have none.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

I'm not saying whether I should ask or not.. I know I should. I want to. I'm just wondering when's the right time (is there any) and how I should and all those stuff..

Hey would you be able to conjure up a potion for me Harry?  (kidding here henry no offense  )


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

first thing you do, put down the L word. take a deep breath and walk away.
you have a crush. crushes are great. crushes are thrilling. good on you.
but it tain't love. 
show interest in her. show that with interest in her, you are still interesting by maintaining a life. it isn't that hard. 
and stop looking for the broom to sweep her off <gawwkkk!> -- gawd I can't even say it without retching.
ditch the puppy dog act. it only works for the truly evil. which you do not appear to be.
a line from a Bruce Springsteen song suited me well through these times in my life (hey, it was the 80's!) 
"walk tall, or don't walk at all."


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

bill said:


> first thing you do, put down the L word. take a deep breath and walk away.
> you have a crush. crushes are great. crushes are thrilling. good on you.
> but it tain't love.
> show interest in her. show that with interest in her, you are still interesting by maintaining a life. it isn't that hard.
> ...



Well not L word but yeah, you get what I mean. I guess ? anyway...

Show interest eh? hmmm... sugestions?

Stop looking for the broom? why? I mean, I just wish I could do something that'll make her say ''Wow, that was probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'' sth along those lines or something like that.. whatever.. 

I shouldn't take her breath away (not literally of course)?


puppy dog act?? evil?? haha..


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## Henry Porter (Jul 25, 2006)

uzziefly said:


> I'm not saying whether I should ask or not.. I know I should. I want to.* I'm just wondering when's the right time *(is there any) and how I should and all those stuff..
> 
> Hey would you be able to conjure up a potion for me Harry?  (kidding here henry no offense  )


No offense taken. I've seen too many times where people in your situation don't speak up. The right time to ask her is right now. Grab your bike, hit the road and ask her. She needs a study break, right? Best of luck, mate. No matter what her answer, at least you stuck your neck out. 

I did back in 1999 and have been rewarded with the best 7 years of my life.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

take this to heart, my friend, borrowed from business -- 
the most successful negotiations are those that you can walk away from.
even if you really can't, you have to must absolutely mustitively give the impression that you can.
invite her to share in your fun. everyone loves a party. lower the bar -- for you, for her. get off the high wire. it's self-defeating. 

just have fun. dammitt. dammittt!!! stop already!!!!!!!

a crush!!! my kingdom for a crush!!!! 
<sigh> youth is realio and trulio wasted on the young.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

whoa... must be those magic spells you used 

Right that's true.. One problem, my exams are starting this wed. end on 12/1 so yeah.. Guess I'll do it in a couple of weeks time? 

So I, err, just ride to her place, call her and say, oh I just wanted to talk for a while...And then ask? hmm... seems direct... but yeah.. there's no 'un direct' way to ask a girl out I guess. Unless I ask her to accompany me out shopping for clothes or sth.. Then again...

7 years eh? Cool.... wow... that's awesome.. congratulations!


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

lonefrontranger said:


> okay. yes, there is absolutely a class of chicks who do dig jerks. nevertheless, young jedi: these are not the droids you're looking for.
> 
> for further insight, I direct you towards this rather enlightening craigslist entry. now, not all girls act like this. it sounds as tho you possibly have lucked onto a sensible one. if this is the case, jerkish behaviour is the one thing guaranteed to send her hightailing it to the nearest exit.
> 
> ...


Werd, lfr. :thumbsup: 

Uzzie, you listen to her. The girls who are worth asking out and falling in love with do not like jerks. The ones that seem to like jerks will only bring you headaches and heartbreak.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

il sogno said:


> Werd, lfr. :thumbsup:
> 
> Uzzie, you listen to her. The girls who are worth asking out and falling in love with do not like jerks. The ones that seem to like jerks will only bring you headaches and heartbreak.



Ditto! Aye aye miss Kapi-tan!

So I should just ride to her place and ask her out? Or ask her to accompany me shopping or sth and then go for dinner? 

What's the best way of doing so? What else should I do? 

Thanks!


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## Henry Porter (Jul 25, 2006)

I would ask her in person for a date in the future. That makes it a bit more special than just hanging out immediately. Just be honest and yourself. Then take her out to eat and maybe a walk or event that allows something to focus on, yet allows conversation. Your posts on this thread seem to indicate that any girl should be interested in getting to know you. Don't play games just be honest and see where it goes. Best of luck.


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## lonefrontranger (Feb 5, 2004)

uzziefly said:


> I hope she thinks rather highly of me..What made you say so? Curious here


well and of course I'm not positive simply cos it's impossible to interpret from thirdparty anecdotes on the web, however... from what you've already laid out here it sounds as tho she's not averse to your company, and she cares enough to spend time around you already. and from the little i've read of your stuff here on rbr you sound like a pretty decent chap. soooo...

yes absolutely go ahead and give her the 'i like you more than friends' speech as soon as you can. you don't have to tie this into asking her on a real date, but you absolutely must have this convo with her and soon. because i can tell you: once a girl has you put in the 'friends' category, it's incredibly hard to dig your way back out. and i'll tell you from my own experience, dudes get stashed in the 'friends' pile for a number of reasons, but the primary one is that SHE might not think YOU are attracted to her 'that way'. so this is the hard part:

get on your bike and/or call her. now. like tonight if its not too late or tomorrow. screw exams - i mean yes you both have to study but what's half an hour to go get icecream or coffee or something and tell her how you feel, huh!? christ on a freaking skateboard dude just ditch all the analysis paralysis, quit telling US how you feel, we're not the important ones, she is. so stop making excuses to delay and just nut up and DO it already!! 

and lemme tell you something: confidence is sexy. even if you don't feel confident, try to project it if you're able. now i know you're all mad crushing on this lady and talking to her probably ties your guts into sailor hitches but you've got to just channel your inner chuck norris and tell yourself its okay if for whatever reason this doesn't turn out exactly how you planned. i'm betting you'll be in like flynn but its never a bad idea to have a contingency plan.

okay story time: my bud Frye, the one I told you about? well the first week we knew each other that little spacker asked ME out... despite the fact that he was born the year I graduated highschool!!! so uhhh... i wont get into the many, many reasons I turned him down, cos that should be evident to even the thickest individual, but the cool part is - he was perfectly fine with that! and of course now that the boundaries have been established, we get along like a house on fire. but in Frye's case - well number one, I think he's likely asked out every decent-looking unattached female primate that he knows. that's just how he rolls. and number two, for all that he's a skinny geeky mullet-wearing bike messenger, he is cute, confident, witty, intelligent, has a fantastic personality (and this is the important bit) he KNOWS all of this, and therefore he has the supreme confidence necessary to rule the universe, or at least his little corner of it. and this is why he excels at doing the jedi mind trick on the six or seven hundred smokin hot chicas he's continually surrounded with. 

now, i've also seen him date a more serious girlfriend for more than a couple months and despite that it didn't seem to stick, he also knows how to behave himself in a more LTR situation soo... just remember that: confidence is the biggest sex-appeal characteristic you can show to women. just don't confuse confidence with dickishness is all. and you certainly seem smart enough to know the diff.

<small>oh and seriously: dont ever get caught in the 'oh i look fat in _____ debate or any of its variants. the right answer to this is ALWAYS 'you look gorgeous' and then immediately CHANGE THE SUBJECT. seriously. there be dragons. </small>


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

uzziefly said:


> Ditto! Aye aye miss Kapi-tan!
> 
> So I should just ride to her place and ask her out? Or ask her to accompany me shopping or sth and then go for dinner?
> 
> ...


have you been paying any attention?
any?
sheesh.
okay, dude, first thing -- relax. you gotta find your center. if it's you to ride over there, and do it that way, than do it that way. then you have the confidence of knowing that she got the real you, and she either responds or she doesn't. if it's you to call first, and all that, then do that. if you don't care, try a little both -- get shot down, try it the other way. what did wayne gretzky say? the shot you miss 100% of the time is the one you don't take. 
no rules, just right. oh wait, that's Outback (a stock I bought probably about when you were born -- it's done quite well, actually).
only you know the dynamic. girls sometimes say that they have these rules about, like, calling past tues for a friday gig or something, but the truth is, if she wants to, she will. If she doesn't, she won't. and you have to be okay with that, because it's the only thing that carries the day -- you being yourself. you do not depend on her, you get what I'm saying?
truly. there really is no daylight between what I'm telling you and what these others are telling you -- it's all about your being yourself. Now, for reasons not entirely clear to a mere dumbsh*t guy like me, one can manipulate himself into the ahem arms of many a fair damsel by thinking only of oneself, but that's not really all that much fun, past the conquest stage, and you probably do miss some of the best ones. 
be yourself. that's the hard part, and the easy part. it's hard, if you've been trying to figure it out, as most teens/early twenties are, but it's easy, really, because then you don't have to obsess about your next move -- you just do what comes naturally.
just do it. early and often. have a friend, be a friend, and all that. 
but please stop obsessing. as much as I'm enjoying this little trip down my own memory lane, revisiting the days when I've been in your shoes, now that I've been married for 18 years, you know, you gotta stop asking the same question.

we don't know how you should do it. chances are that it matters not a whit. that's not the way that good relationships start. if you give her you, you all will figure it out.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

> oh and seriously: dont ever get caught in the 'oh i look fat in _____ debate or any of its variants. the right answer to this is ALWAYS 'you look gorgeous' and then immediately CHANGE THE SUBJECT. seriously. there be dragons.


maybe at the dating stage there could be a right answer to this question. in the married stage, I promise that there is not. There is no right answer.
no, you look great. you always look great.
haven't you noticed that I gained/lost 5 lbs?
uh, I . . . 
well, which do you prefer?

leave the room. leave the house, the state, if you must. it is a black, black hole of mirrors made of dark matter, with a gravitational pull so strong that no light escapes. yes, that is quite a paradox. that's the point.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

Henry Porter said:


> I would ask her in person for a date in the future. That makes it a bit more special than just hanging out immediately. Just be honest and yourself. Then take her out to eat and maybe a walk or event that allows something to focus on, yet allows conversation. Your posts on this thread seem to indicate that any girl should be interested in getting to know you. Don't play games just be honest and see where it goes. Best of luck.


psst. henry.
does this kid deserve any more advice?
i mean, seriously.
three days and he's still sitting on his hands.
some of the best advice-givers in the world -- LFR being world-class, certainly. no offense to present company, of course -- you've been right up there. 
man.


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## I am The Edge (Jul 27, 2004)

uzziefly said:


> Ditto! Aye aye miss Kapi-tan!
> 
> So I should just ride to her place and ask her out? Or ask her to accompany me shopping or sth and then go for dinner?
> 
> ...




you CANNOT be serious.
*------------------------* 

post moderated. the young lady has choosen the man she is interested in. a gentleman abides by her choice. mmkay? - sogno :nono:


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## lonefrontranger (Feb 5, 2004)

I am The Edge said:


> you CANNOT be serious.
> 
> *------------------*


edge dude... i know youre only kidding but drop the sarcasm and back away slowly.

he already mentioned in like his first or second post that he's never had problems being captain suave and asking girls out before. the challenge is This One's Different - cos probably for the first time he's Truly Smitten.

i mean jeebus on a pogostick, don't you remember the first Really Important Girl? I know its easy to SAY 'oh go ahead and ask her out... bla bla bla' because many of us on this thread are viewing this whole scene from a pinnacle of *ahem* shall we say experience.

just because everyone else goes thru this stuff, doesnt make it any less painful the first time YOU get to experience it. 

or are we all so old and jaded here that we've forgotten that? gee I sincerely hope not.


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## physasst (Oct 1, 2005)

*Wow*



lonefrontranger said:


> yes absolutely go ahead and give her the 'i like you more than friends' speech as soon as you can. you don't have to tie this into asking her on a real date, but you absolutely must have this convo with her and soon. because i can tell you: once a girl has you put in the 'friends' category, it's incredibly hard to dig your way back out. and i'll tell you from my own experience, dudes get stashed in the 'friends' pile for a number of reasons, but the primary one is that SHE might not think YOU are attracted to her 'that way'.



PLUS ONE.....If you don't get off your [email protected], and ask this girl out, you will forever be "My close friend"....and dude, I know from experience, there is NO COMING BACK from that. In fact, it ruined a friendship I had with a chica about 15 years ago. I had my opportunity, chickened out, she dated someone else, and by the time I got up the nerve, I was "such a close friend, and she didn't want to ruin that"..LFR knows what she's talking about...now reach down, and pinch yourself in that place where your cajones are supposed to be, and be a man already, CALL HER......Good Luck, I hope it works out for ya.


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

bill said:


> maybe at the dating stage there could be a right answer to this question. in the married stage, I promise that there is not. There is no right answer.
> no, you look great. you always look great.
> haven't you noticed that I gained/lost 5 lbs?
> uh, I . . .
> ...


So............................. you're saying I'm fat?


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## I am The Edge (Jul 27, 2004)

I'm apologize...I forgot this post was in the Women's Cycling+ Forum. :blush2: 

The maternal instinct to coddle and protect the young lad are too over-powering in here even if I think he is just looking for attention.....I'll go away now.


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## madhattaz (Sep 3, 2006)

There are no such concept of "waiting for the right time".

Carpe diem- you need to create your own oppurtunities.

What have you got to lose?


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

bill said:


> only you know the dynamic. girls sometimes say that they have these rules about, like, calling past tues for a friday gig or something, but the truth is, if she wants to, she will. If she doesn't, she won't. and you have to be okay with that, because it's the only thing that carries the day -- you being yourself. you do not depend on her, you get what I'm saying? ..........
> 
> you just do what comes naturally.


Righ you are bill. I realized that yeah, while I can do it a little differently or so, I can't do it like say north pole/south pole different. Thanks. 
I guess I was so caught up thinking so much that I forgot this. 



lonefrontranger said:


> he already mentioned in like his first or second post that he's never had problems being captain suave and asking girls out before. the challenge is This One's Different - cos probably for the first time he's Truly Smitten.


captain suave? exactly but yeah, I've asked some pretty WOW chicks out before spontaneously or so yep. Oh i remember, I once conversed nicely with a hottie when I was 15!!! (hey that was pretty young right??) and we just met a few hrs ago too. Now where's THAT side of me hiding?? :idea:

Oh yeah, maybe it's coz lonefrontranger is right, I AM truly smitten. And all of a sudden, it seems harder. 



lonefrontranger said:


> now i know you're all mad crushing on this lady and talking to her probably ties your guts into sailor hitches


Oddly, talking to her seems so easy and without a carefree at all. Totally don't needa pretend anything or put on a facade or whatever. I can just talk about stuff with her. This one time, on my birthday, we talked about a friend and such and suddenly she talked about the moon (it was already in the evening). No well, 'err, lemme see, what to talk or what not to say' kinda thing.



lonefrontranger said:


> *yes absolutely go ahead and give her the 'i like you more than friends' speech as soon as you can. you don't have to tie this into asking her on a real date, but you absolutely must have this convo with her and soon*. because i can tell you: once a girl has you put in the 'friends' category, it's incredibly hard to dig your way back out. and i'll tell you from my own experience, dudes get stashed in the 'friends' pile for a number of reasons, but the primary one is that SHE might not think YOU are attracted to her 'that way'. so this is the hard part:


I was thinking maybe asking her out first and then telling her... But yeah, it's these things which have got my guts tied in sailor hitches



lonefrontranger said:


> get on your bike and/or call her. now. like tonight if its not too late or tomorrow. screw exams - i mean yes you both have to study but what's half an hour to go get icecream or coffee or something and tell her how you feel, huh!? christ on a freaking skateboard dude just ditch all the analysis paralysis, quit telling US how you feel, we're not the important ones, she is. so stop making excuses to delay and just nut up and DO it already!!
> 
> and lemme tell you something: confidence is sexy. even if you don't feel confident, try to project it if you're able. now i know you're all mad crushing on this lady and talking to her probably ties your guts into sailor hitches but you've got to just channel your inner chuck norris and tell yourself its okay if for whatever reason this doesn't turn out exactly how you planned. *i'm betting you'll be in like flynn but its never a bad idea to have a contingency plan*.


Who's Flynn and what'd he do? What contingency plan?

Well I would ask her out but honestly, her exams are wayyy to important to put this on her mind now as it'll enable her to stream into sth she wants to do and is like a pre qualifying thing or something.. Seriously, if not, I'd do it.. Really. You guys just made me say to myself ''heck I'd ask her out.. ASAP..''

But, what I would do is probably call her and ask how her papers were or sth and maybe ride by in the next few days to just chat for a little while and maybe get some ice cream so we could eat while chatting.. Something like that.. Almost certainly so, I'd do this.. Nothing to be afraid of anyway, it's just a harmless chat and all. Plus it could open some doors for me to kinda drop hints about the 'i like you more then friends' thing.




Henry Porter said:


> I would ask her in person for a date in the future. That makes it a bit more special than just hanging out immediately. Just be honest and yourself. Then take her out to eat and maybe a walk or event that allows something to focus on, yet allows conversation. *Your posts on this thread seem to indicate that any girl should be interested in getting to know you.* Don't play games just be honest and see where it goes. Best of luck.


ahh, why so? curious here. really?? 

Yeah thanks Henry I'd ask her.. As I've stated above. Play games? emmm, what kinda games are ya talking about? Oh the, not interested but interested kinda stuff? Nah I won't do those kinda stuff. 


Thanks all for the really insightful tips/advice and all. Definitely would take heed what has been said. You're all right in the sense, well, she's welcome to my presence so yeah..


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

I am The Edge said:


> I'm apologize...I forgot this post was in the Women's Cycling+ Forum. :blush2:
> 
> The maternal instinct to coddle and protect the young lad are too over-powering in here even if I think he is just looking for attention.....I'll go away now.



I'm not looking for attention Edge. And, not everyone might be so suave as yourself or as forwarding when it comes to asking a chick out. You're lucky you have this confidence to just go ahead.:thumbsup:

As for me, well, I'm just clueless in a way since I've never really felt this way about a girl before other then well, eye candies and some smaller crushes or so. So, I just wanted to be more careful, tactful in what I should do or my way of approaching the situation so as not to seem too ''hey babe, i like you, you wanna go out? great. if not, it's your loss'' kinda thing or anything 'jerkish' or whatever. 

Your insight would be welcome of course.


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## bill (Feb 5, 2004)

il sogno said:


> So............................. you're saying I'm fat?


if'n you're looking for bill, 
he's gone.
something about black holes.


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