# New to bibs, how to P?



## Special Eyes (Feb 2, 2011)

I liked the fit and comfort of my first pair of bibs, but when it came time to drain my lizard, it was a mess and I had to wash my gloves at a faucet. What's the trick?


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## tihsepa (Nov 27, 2008)

Dont pee on your gloves?

I dont know, I only run bibs and have never pissed on anything I didnt want to.

And I am hung like a pimple.


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## walter2007 (Nov 22, 2007)

Special Eyes said:


> I liked the fit and comfort of my first pair of bibs, but when it came time to drain my lizard, it was a mess and I had to wash my gloves at a faucet. What's the trick?


If you need a message board to answer this for you, my advice would be to just piss yourself.


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## DaveG (Feb 4, 2004)

*two methods*



Special Eyes said:


> I liked the fit and comfort of my first pair of bibs, but when it came time to drain my lizard, it was a mess and I had to wash my gloves at a faucet. What's the trick?


There are two main methods (assuming you are a guy). Pull the front of the bibs down and swing you stuff over top. This is easier if you lean forward to take stress off of the straps. This also depends of how low your bibs are cut in front. Option 2 is to roll up the leg and sneak underneath. This can be tough if you wear your bibs tight or with certain leg grippers. I'm an over to front guy but its a personal thing


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## Fireform (Dec 15, 2005)

Despite the snarkasm, there are two basic techniques--the pull it down and the roll it up.

The pull it downers insist that stretching down the front of the bib to liberate the lizard is the only way to go. The roll it uppers prefer to pull one leg of the short up to the juncture. I am a roll it upper, as I find it much more reliable.

I will now be dissed by the pull it down clan. And I'm fine with that.


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## walter2007 (Nov 22, 2007)

Jesus, I don't know whats worse asking the question or giving a in-depth answer.


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## Gimme Shoulder (Feb 10, 2004)

Lycra stretches (you're not going to break it). Lizards stretch (your not going to break it either). Figure out a way to stretch stuff and make it work. It ain't rocket science....


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## cda 455 (Aug 9, 2010)

Special Eyes said:


> I liked the fit and comfort of my first pair of bibs, but when it came time to drain my lizard, it was a mess and I had to wash my gloves at a faucet. What's the trick?



Roll up leg; hold bib leg open; empty bladder; profit.


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## Madone58 (Jul 2, 2012)

"Of course I peed my pants!! Everybody my age pees their pants!! It's THE coolest!"


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## old_fuji (Mar 16, 2009)

Madone58 said:


> "Of course I peed my pants!! Everybody my age pees their pants!! It's THE coolest!"


If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!


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## ddimick (Aug 9, 2011)

As Stallone once said in a really bad 80s movie, "Over the top!"


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## INeedGears (Aug 23, 2011)

You could take a page out of the tri-geek book and just go on yourself and your bike.

Though I don't recommend that approach


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## Blackbeerthepirate (Apr 26, 2011)

walter2007 said:


> Jesus, I don't know whats worse asking the question or giving a in-depth answer.


Oh no, This is gonna be epic.


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## tednugent (Apr 26, 2010)

Luckily for me.... I get to use porta-johns....

so... I unzip my jersey, unstrap, then pull down.... awkward to do... but less mess


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## Eretz (Jul 21, 2012)

Special Eyes said:


> What's the trick?


Work through the pain of holding your bladder. Concentrate on nothing while looking forward. Don't think of water fall noises or flushing toilets in corners of your mind. Be blank. Be Strong. Live Dry.


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## respro (Jun 21, 2012)

I'm not man enough to wear bibs yet but I'm trying real hard!


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## Mdeth1313 (Nov 1, 2001)

There's always the Steve Martin method- but you'd have to see "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVHR21iExI


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## OldChipper (May 15, 2011)

Love that scene! Classic!

I'm an over-the-topper. My manly thighs are just too tree-trunk-like to effectively roll up the leg of my bibs. Can't really P on the bike with the over-the-top technique though.


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## RJP Diver (Jul 2, 2010)

tednugent said:


> Luckily for me.... I get to use porta-johns....
> 
> so... I unzip my jersey, unstrap, then pull down.... awkward to do... but less mess


Disrobing in a porta-jon? Where do you put your jersey etc? Might be more vile than peeing yourself.


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## InfiniteLoop (Mar 20, 2010)

Over the top here since my bibs are fairly tight around my legs. My wife also mod'd one pair of Assos for me by cutting the straps, putting a rectangular ring on one side and a bit of soft two-sided velcro on the other. Works great and I never feel the joint when riding. She did tell me rather directly that it's for a quickie pee, not a quickie anything else.


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## MPov (Oct 22, 2010)

I pull down. I never even considered the other option as a possibility, and can't visualize how that would work (not that I want to in any event). And guys please don't post any youtube video demonstrations .


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## dexetr30 (May 6, 2010)

tednugent said:


> Luckily for me.... I get to use porta-johns....
> 
> so... I unzip my jersey, unstrap, then pull down.... awkward to do... but less mess


I do this as well. Though I have several porta-johns on many of my routes, I live in a semi rural area. It's not difficult for me to take a few steps off the side of the road and be completely invisible to passing traffic. I usually unzip the jersey, pull the bib straps down and then pull the bib short down just far enough to let it all hang out. So, there seems to be 3 methods.

Pooping... Yes, I carry a bit of t.p. but that's another thread altogether.


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## nOOky (Mar 20, 2009)

tihsepa said:


> And I am hung like a pimple.


Not to brag, but I've got you in that department, as I'm hung like a light switch


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## rgordin (Oct 22, 2010)

Fireform said:


> Despite the snarkasm, there are two basic techniques--the pull it down and the roll it up.
> 
> The pull it downers insist that stretching down the front of the bib to liberate the lizard is the only way to go. The roll it uppers prefer to pull one leg of the short up to the juncture. I am a roll it upper, as I find it much more reliable.
> 
> I will now be dissed by the pull it down clan. And I'm fine with that.


There is a third way - take off your jersey and proceed as normal. That said, if possible, I pull down the front and pull up my equipment.


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## Gimme Shoulder (Feb 10, 2004)

So, I wonder if there is a corilation between pee method and political affiliation. I'm thinking Over-the-Toppers are Republican, Thru-the-Legholers are Democrat, and Pee-Your-Pantsers are Third Party.


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## cxwrench (Nov 9, 2004)

all i've ever seen from the back seat of the team car is the 'over the top'...version 1, where you pee on a slight descent or your team mate pushes you for a minute. 
or version 2 where you pull over and just pull the front down and go. 
i'm sure the 'pull the leg up, drain the weasel' works, but on the rare occasion i have to pee on a ride, i'm w/ the 'over the top' crowd. 
i'm just wondering how anyone who can't figure out what works best for them manages to drive a car or feed themselves...seriously, it's not that hard.


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## mo_amyot (Jun 15, 2012)

This thread...


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## Love Commander (Aug 20, 2009)

Am I the only person who inserts a catheter before a long ride? I thread the hose and valve down my left leg, and it tucks discretely under the leg hem when it's not in use. Couldn't possibly be easier.


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## amflyer (Mar 4, 2004)

Through years of studying Chuck Norris, I can now point my finger at a tree, say "Ka-POW" and pee out of my finger.


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## Gimme Shoulder (Feb 10, 2004)

Fire hose out of control - YouTube


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## Gimme Shoulder (Feb 10, 2004)

cxwrench said:


> i'm just wondering how anyone who can't figure out what works best for them manages to drive a car or feed themselves...seriously, it's not that hard.


True, but it's threads like this that keep me coming back.


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## johnny dollar (Jul 21, 2010)

I was going to quote Ruprecht from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but you beat me to it.

:thumbsup:



Mdeth1313 said:


> There's always the Steve Martin method- but you'd have to see "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels".
> 
> 
> Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - YouTube


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## 67caddy (Nov 4, 2009)

Special Eyes said:


> I liked the fit and comfort of my first pair of bibs, but when it came time to drain my lizard, it was a mess and I had to wash my gloves at a faucet. What's the trick?


If you left your damn lizard at home, you wouldn't have that problem.


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## mmlee (Apr 15, 2012)

this ones better than the shaving (rear end) thread....... trying to keep myself from busting out in laughter isn't easy to do when your trying not to get caught at work.


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## bent_remy (Jul 24, 2011)

Strip.....


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## bent_remy (Jul 24, 2011)

Love Commander said:


> Am I the only person who inserts a catheter before a long ride? I thread the hose and valve down my left leg, and it tucks discretely under the leg hem when it's not in use. Couldn't possibly be easier.


Yes you are.


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## BernyMac (Jul 13, 2010)

Love Commander said:


> Am I the only person who inserts a catheter before a long ride? I thread the hose and valve down my left leg, and it tucks discretely under the leg hem when it's not in use. Couldn't possibly be easier.


I thought this is the norm?!?!


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## DCash (Jun 20, 2012)

This question is why I don't buy bibs online.


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## terryansimon (Oct 8, 2009)

this may give you a clue as to how professional riders do it.



image courtesy of CyclingTips


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## Srode (Aug 19, 2012)

If you have to pee while riding, *you aren't riding hard enough*, should be perspiring all the extra fluids not losing it through the main vein! 

Seriously, I drain it before I go for a ride and have only had to pee on one ride, and that was when I was wearing shorts not bibs.


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## TXRR (Aug 9, 2012)

I'm new to cycling, I never knew there were so many issue involving ones manhood.


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## partyofone (Feb 8, 2012)

I just peed myself reading this thread.


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## tottenham21 (Nov 8, 2011)

LMAO, I can't believe all of this hahahaha, I mean really, just go behind a tree and pull everything down and free Willy ffs..


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## Kerry Irons (Feb 25, 2002)

*Sarcasm?*



Srode said:


> If you have to pee while riding, *you aren't riding hard enough*, should be perspiring all the extra fluids not losing it through the main vein!
> 
> Seriously, I drain it before I go for a ride and have only had to pee on one ride, and that was when I was wearing shorts not bibs.


You are either being sarcastic or you don't know what you're talking about. Your comment is posted right after terryansimon posts a picture of professionals stopping to pee. Is it your contention that they are not "riding hard enough"? I hope for your sake that this was indeed a (failed) attempt at being funny.


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## oldcrank (Nov 7, 2009)

richieb313 said:


> condom cath, lose the leg bag, angle the hose in such a way so that you lube your chain at the same time
> 
> twofer


wp40?


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## Srode (Aug 19, 2012)

oldcrank said:


> wp40?


:lol::lol:


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## PlatyPius (Feb 1, 2009)

If I couldn't figure out how to take a piss, I think I'd just go ahead and take a sledgehammer to my nuts so there would be no chance of me reproducing...


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## Mike T. (Feb 3, 2004)

PlatyPius said:


> If I couldn't figure out how to take a piss, I think I'd just go ahead and take a sledgehammer to my nuts so there would be no chance of me reproducing...


Hahahahahahaha, my laugh of the day and on a day when I need a laugh. I was gonna answer and be a bit more kind, like "If you can't figure out how to take a piss you shouldn't be wearing shorts" but yours is faaaaaar better. :lol:

Edit - Oooops I just remembered that this is the Beginners' forum. Maybe the OP is new to pissing.


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## PlatyPius (Feb 1, 2009)

Mike T. said:


> Hahahahahahaha, my laugh of the day and on a day when I need a laugh. I was gonna answer and be a bit more kind, like "If you can't figure out how to take a piss you shouldn't be wearing shorts" but yours is faaaaaar better. :lol:
> 
> Edit - Oooops I just remembered that this is the Beginners' forum. Maybe the OP is new to pissing.


Glad I could provide some LOLz.

Could be new to pissing, I suppose. Kinda like those people who post topics like "New guy!" What were they before? Female? Dust? Tea cozy?


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## Srode (Aug 19, 2012)

Kerry Irons said:


> You are either being sarcastic or you don't know what you're talking about. Your comment is posted right after terryansimon posts a picture of professionals stopping to pee. Is it your contention that they are not "riding hard enough"? I hope for your sake that this was indeed a (failed) attempt at being funny.


When two sentences are together and the second one starts with "Seriously", most would interpret the first sentence as not serious (a joke) I think...... I was amused, not sure what dire consequences would follow if I was serious in the first one though.  It doesn't really look to me judging from most of the posts the thread is being taken totally seriously is it?


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## Mike T. (Feb 3, 2004)

PlatyPius said:


> Glad I could provide some LOLz.
> Could be new to pissing, I suppose. Kinda like those people who post topics like "New guy!" What were they before? Female? Dust? Tea cozy?


A new guy could quite possibly have trouble peeing. After all, those things (when working properly) do have a mind of their own at times. If you were new at it, they could take some getting used to.


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