# Please share your best racing heckles!!!!



## adimiro (Jun 28, 2007)

Some of the best Cx racing fun and memories are spectator heckles...now that US Natz 2010 are done, please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season


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## old_fuji (Mar 16, 2009)

"HEY! That guy ripped his shorts!"

because my shorts did get hung up and ripped right up the thigh on a remount.


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## VeldrijdenAddict (Apr 29, 2008)

"F for effort!"

I was basically walking on a long run-up. I was focused on the race Sunday (to win a series) and only raced Saturday because it was close to home. I went in with the plan to race hard the first two laps and if I was in it, I'd race hard to the finish. I almost had two high speed crashes in the first lap. I did fall over into a tree on the 2nd lap trying to ride the same run-up, so I totally backed off. Running is not my strength and this run-up was looonnnggg. I did ride it on another lap to much applause.


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## cyklopath (Feb 24, 2007)

A few years ago in a local series, near the end of a race, I was walking from one barrier to the next..... (I weighed 40lbs more than I do now) and a spectator yelled "do you need a leash for that bike? Cuz you sure do walk it a lot!"


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## Big Baby Jesus (Sep 28, 2007)

After falling a girl calls out, "Oh how tragic."


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## atpjunkie (Mar 23, 2002)

*I like simple*

Go Faster


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## kupe (Sep 20, 2005)

In one of the SM Open (P/1/2) races last year, a buddy of ours was leading a small group, but with a pretty good gap in front of them. He was met with "C'mon, Log-jam! You're holdin' up traffic!" Irony of that is that I'm a BoP'er in the 35+, 4's. Guess I gotta be good at something....


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## MisterC (May 26, 2007)

I use all of these


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## TWD (Feb 9, 2004)

adimiro said:


> Some of the best Cx racing fun and memories are spectator heckles...now that US Natz 2010 are done, please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season


I don't know about best, but on the worst category, some random hipster chick heckled my bar tape lap after lap for 60 minutes. WFT? One lap...."hey your bar tape doesn't match". Next lap "your bar tape matches your jersey" 

Heckle FAIL! If your cadre of lame arse skinny jean friends don't even laugh at your heckles, chances are, they aren't funny and you should work on some new material.


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## Mike T. (Feb 3, 2004)

You should have said "Pity your t!t$ aren't as big as your mouth".


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## c-lo (Sep 30, 2008)

"You can catch up to that guy!!" says my 10 yr old son to a dude passing him while he shot video of one of my races.


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## bikenerd (Jan 22, 2004)

I got heckled about a Facebook post I had made about appreciating the sunrise. It's hard to refute the hecklers when they've done their homework.


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## Jetmugg (Sep 22, 2010)

" You're Not Winning "


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## Magdaddy (Feb 23, 2007)

*I kinda race with a theme...*

lots and lots of orange...jokingly call myself Great Pumpkin Racing. A buddy called me that years ago in a destination race we were doing. I crashed on a loose downhill, really rung my bell, but no damage to either me or the bike. It took a few minutes to get back in rythmn on the bike...meanwhile my buddy rode into the distance. On the final 9 miles of road-about 31 miles dirt/stone/sand, the rest paved, I started to reel him in.

He saw me coming in my orange glory and said to himself..."there's no way I'm letting the Great Pumpkin catch me" So, Great Pumpkin Racing was born! I even have a great haunted pumpkin jersey that is great for the cross season.

So, I get alot of "come on, pedal pumkin", "go get em pumpkin"-etc. I usually reply with something like thanks pookey, thanks for the kind words sunshine, etc...

Alas, Great Pumpkin Racing is no more...I'll be a Team member next year. For cross season, the only thing orange will be the bike.


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## TWB8s (Sep 18, 2003)

A friend hit me with this one this season...

"You're riding like you're going for a coffee!"


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## rockdude (Apr 3, 2008)

Everytime I lead a race, all I hear is "sandbagger!!!!". Heck, I am racing open, what do they expect.


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## c-lo (Sep 30, 2008)

rockdude said:


> Everytime I lead a race, all I hear is "sandbagger!!!!". Heck, I am racing open, what do they expect.



ouch!


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## henry_j (Mar 11, 2008)

adimiro said:


> ... please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season


Hecklees, fight back ...  
http://www.cyclocrossvideos.com/cx/misc/2007_kick.html


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## Jim311 (Sep 18, 2009)

I didn't know CX spectating involved this much trash talk. Maybe I need to spectate a few races and work on my trash talk repertoire.


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## TWB8s (Sep 18, 2003)

Jim311 said:


> I didn't know CX spectating involved this much trash talk. Maybe I need to spectate a few races and work on my trash talk repertoire.


In the 'cross off season go to your local mall and hang out in the food court. Start heckling the the McDonald's, then Sabarro, then Taco Bell... but mix it up and hit the Jamba Juice and the Starbucks to stay on your heckling toes.


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## steve_e_f (Sep 8, 2003)

when my wife is racing, I yell "get her, she's fat!".
I know, its horrible.


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## Abaddon (Feb 27, 2004)

"WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, (fill in your buddy's name)!?!" HE WOULD RIDE FASTER!!!


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## Jim311 (Sep 18, 2009)

TWB8s said:


> In the 'cross off season go to your local mall and hang out in the food court. Start heckling the the McDonald's, then Sabarro, then Taco Bell... but mix it up and hit the Jamba Juice and the Starbucks to stay on your heckling toes.



I'll have to train hard in the off season to be in peak physical condition to out-heckle the competition.


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## d2p (Jul 29, 2006)

this year ""CONQUER THE MASSES WITH YOUR CHARISMA!" is going to be huge.


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## Unoveloce (Apr 13, 2005)

1. Wait until a group of three go by. Say to the first two, "You're looking great!". Then hit the last guy in line with, "You, not so much!".

2. Way to lap people in reverse. Your'e about to backwards pass the leader again.

3. If you're here, who's at home disappointing your wife/mom/husband/etc.

4. Just like that, now faster.

5. OK, enough with the slow motion practicing, do it full speed now.

6. Too slow to have that much slobber on your face.


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## gpsser (Oct 25, 2003)

We have this girl that races with us that is louder than hell, and her voice caries. One of ou team mates was riding by, suffering and she is in the crowd screaming "ride faster you *****" at him


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## RRRoubaix (Aug 27, 2008)

TWB8s said:


> A friend hit me with this one this season...
> 
> "You're riding like you're going for a coffee!"


Heh heh- yeah, I heard a variation of that at the first Crusade race this year;
"Gentlemen- this is a _RACE_ - *NOT A LATTE' RUN* !!!"


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## RRRoubaix (Aug 27, 2008)

Unoveloce said:


> 4. Just like that, now faster...


LOVE it!
:thumbsup:


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## Mike T. (Feb 3, 2004)

The traditional one from the UK from many years ago would be "Get off and MILK it!" Talk about discouraging.


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## williamf777 (Jun 4, 2004)

Left Brake!!!!!!
Left Brake!!!!!!
Left Brake!!!!!!


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## ZenNMotion (May 28, 2004)

Magdaddy said:


> lots and lots of orange...jokingly call myself Great Pumpkin Racing. A buddy called me that years ago in a destination race we were doing. I crashed on a loose downhill, really rung my bell, but no damage to either me or the bike. It took a few minutes to get back in rythmn on the bike...meanwhile my buddy rode into the distance. On the final 9 miles of road-about 31 miles dirt/stone/sand, the rest paved, I started to reel him in.
> 
> He saw me coming in my orange glory and said to himself..."there's no way I'm letting the Great Pumpkin catch me" So, Great Pumpkin Racing was born! I even have a great haunted pumpkin jersey that is great for the cross season.
> 
> ...


Forever known as Gourd-o.


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## Looper (Sep 21, 2009)

Only 13 Laps to go! :thumbsup:


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## Ol' Dirty Biker (Oct 16, 2009)

During my 1st season and second race, Cat4 men and the women's field ran together. Two laps to go and the 1st place woman is forced to pass my slow ass using a less than ideal line. Sideline heckler yells out "Mouthbreather!" and I didn't really understand. Post race I decide to educate myself and upon discovering the intended definition I was very impressed.

"Mouthbreather: Someone who is ignorant to the social courtesies of public movement. consequently, they stifle the mobility of thinking humans by becoming an obstacle which must be negotiated. they can be identified by their despondent facial expressions and wide-open mouths ."

Too true!


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## Kram (Jan 28, 2004)

Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of Elderberries.


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## pmt (Aug 4, 2009)

"I like the way you cross the barriers! You can come over to my house and f--- my sister!"


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## Keski (Sep 25, 2004)

"Nice disc brakes!"


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## Opus51569 (Jul 21, 2009)

I've never tried heckling a rider, but I would think: "Your tire's low!" might mess with their head a little.


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## 1speedbrian (Mar 20, 2007)

Best CX heckle I have ever seen was a big group at a set of barriers yelling, cheering, ringing cowbells and just generally raising hell except when one particular racer came by and everyone was dead silent when he passed then immediately resume cheering as soon as he passed the barriers. It really messed with him he would look back every time wondering what was up. Of course it’s a tight nit local cycling community and everyone is pretty good friends so it was in jest.


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