# gatekeepers



## theBreeze (Jan 7, 2002)

OK this is probably going to get me flamed, and the post will get locked at some point, but what's up with all the guys as "gatekeepers" for their wives or SO's? "I'm looking for advice on a (new bike, saddle, shorts, etc.) for my (wife, girlfriend)."

Help me understand the dymnamic here. Are the women scared of posting for themselves? OR are these guys just being well meaning guys (however demeaning it may be on some level) and trying to get info to help out?


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## SilasCL (Jun 14, 2004)

I think a lot of men want to get their significant others into cycling and are looking for a woman's perspective on bikes/clothing, etc. Their SOs might not know anything about RBR, or the whole cycling world,

Silas


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

What Silas said. 

My wife now has a bike but has no idea what to ask or where to ask it, nor does she care to take the time to find out. She knows I do, and can get her the answers.


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## SilasCL (Jun 14, 2004)

Sounds like we're being used...my girlfriend asked me to lube her chain last weekend and no that is not code.


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## theBreeze (Jan 7, 2002)

OK, I get your point. But instead of asking FOR her, why don't you encourage her to post for herself? Hey, we are really nice women here and would love to welcome more into our ranks.


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## theBreeze (Jan 7, 2002)

brianmcg said:


> What Silas said.
> 
> My wife now has a bike but has no idea what to ask or where to ask it, nor does she care to take the time to find out. She knows I do, and can get her the answers.


Any why is that? If she really wants to ride, she should have SOME interest in ferreting out info for herself. If someone, male OR female isn't interested enough to learn more about a supposedly chosen sport or hobby or whatever, can they really be that interested in the first place?

Quit making it so easy for them. The next time they say "Honey I need new shorts, what should I get?" give them some resources to get the information.


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## Sheesh (Oct 16, 2006)

My husband was posting on RBR long before I started posting. In fact, I started lurking on a women's cycling forum in the beginning because RBR seemed like a bunch of male testerone and men who just made fun of others, rather than trying to be helpful. I started posting on the women's forum, and eventually started lurking here. Once the women's sub-forum was created, I came out of lurkdom.

But, to answer your question, I think RBR seems geared more towards the "serious cyclist" and less towards the "recreational cyclist". I'm guessing that the men asking the questions for women fall into the "serious" category, whereas their women fall into the "recreational" category. I'm sure the men are well-meaning, and are just trying to find out helpful information for their SOs.


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## JayTee (Feb 3, 2004)

Nah, I don't see any flaming or lockdown in your future, but the simple fact is that this discussion board is heavily male and perhaps most forums are. So, the guys do the posting but I'm sure that many of the female SO's are no shrinking violet.

Look at MissM (MB1's wife). She doesn't post; he does. But she puts in about 10k a year on her bike, knows her stuff, etc. etc. I do think there's just a gender difference in terms of being interested in being part of an internet community. Most discussion boards I visit are overwhelmingly male.


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## 32and3cross (Feb 28, 2005)

theBreeze said:


> Any why is that? If she really wants to ride, she should have SOME interest in ferreting out info for herself. If someone, male OR female isn't interested enough to learn more about a supposedly chosen sport or hobby or whatever, can they really be that interested in the first place?/QUOTE]
> 
> My wife has plenty of interest and knowalge of cycling she chooses to not join discussion forums beacuse she has no interest in that. While she can easliy take care of her bike and pick out parts and what not, I end up doing most of that for both of us because Im tweaky and like that sort thing.
> 
> I pass on womens specific solutions that she or I have found in my dealing with either her bike or the womens team that I help wrench for.


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## theBreeze (Jan 7, 2002)

OK, so maybe it's s differnce in process, not interest?


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## Len J (Jan 28, 2004)

I can't speak for the others..........

ut my wife rides about 2,500 miles a year and loves it.....but she really isn't interested in the technical side of cycling, nor is she interested in posting on any Internet forum. Occasionally, she will ask me a question that is somewhat women specific (or one which I think might be). When that happens, I'll ask the question on RBR, knowing that there are more than a few knowledgable women cyclists whose opinions I trust. 

It's kinda like if you were a single parent and your pre-pubescent daughter asked you a "womens" question.....wouldn't you ask one of your sisters or women friends for advice?

This board is a resource.


As to this quote: _*"Any why is that? If she really wants to ride, she should have SOME interest in ferreting out info for herself. If someone, male OR female isn't interested enough to learn more about a supposedly chosen sport or hobby or whatever, can they really be that interested in the first place?" *_That is your definition of how an interested party should behave, not necessarily the interested parties. My wife and I support each other in different ways.......she rely's on me for cycling help......I rely on her to beat me upside the head when I get out of line. :blush2:     

Len


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## JayTee (Feb 3, 2004)

Good summary, I think, Len.

PS... as for this ....



Len J said:


> ]I rely on her to beat me upside the head when I get out of line. :blush2:
> 
> Len



.... I bet your head is pretty sore, then.


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## Len J (Jan 28, 2004)

*You know what they say........*



JayTee said:


> Good summary, I think, Len.
> 
> PS... as for this ....
> 
> ...


No brain...no pain.:mad2: 

Len


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## zeytin (May 15, 2004)

As always words of wisdom from Len.


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## KayTee (Jun 24, 2006)

My SO is a health care provider. The majority of off-hours emergency calls he gets for his male patients are made on their behalf by their wives or GFs. Communication by proxy is still communication, and Len is right -- this forum's a good resource!


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

theBreeze said:


> Any why is that? If she really wants to ride, she should have SOME interest in ferreting out info for herself. If someone, male OR female isn't interested enough to learn more about a supposedly chosen sport or hobby or whatever, can they really be that interested in the first place?
> 
> Quit making it so easy for them. The next time they say "Honey I need new shorts, what should I get?" give them some resources to get the information.


 
She loves to ride, she doesn't like chatting on the internet. Her job doesn't leave her a lot of free time during the day to let her play on the computer. Whereas my job I am on the computer all day wether I am goofing off or working. So it just makes sense for me to do it.

And as for your last comment, you obviously have never been married. That would be a quick way to spend the night on the couch. 

I'm the bike guy, she's the nurse. If she has bike questions I know where to get the answers. If something is wrong with me she doesn't hand me the 2000 page CMDT
and tell me to get the information myself.


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## kayakguy (Feb 2, 2006)

My wife can cook. I mean like chef quality food. If we make the same thing hers will always be better, by far. She has a magic touch. She usually kicks me out of the kitchen. I just sit back and enjoy this aspect of her personality.

I am a gear head/junkie. I will research for hours about the most minor things. She trust my opinion, and doesn't care about the minute details as long as it works and she likes it. She enjoys the benifits of this aspect of my personality.

I would love for her to take an active roll on RBR. but it is a lot of tech on here and right now she doesn't care about that. Her interest is building though.

I needed some input recently. I appreciate all of the responses. I really feel intimidated about posting on the womens board, as I don't want to impose. However my wife and I are best friends and a team, and so I do as I must to help her make the best decision. Hopefully she will get bitten by the bug and join you all on this board.


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2007)

No only is road cycling a male dominated sport.......regretfully I might add but compulsive forum posting is kind of a male thing also......especially sad lonely males without g/f's too!


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## Keeping up with Junior (Feb 27, 2003)

*Teamwork*



brianmcg said:


> ...I'm the bike guy, she's the nurse. If she has bike questions I know where to get the answers. If something is wrong with me she doesn't hand me the 2000 page CMDT and tell me to get the information myself...


_Gatekeeper_ sounds demeaning to my wife and insulting to me. To me it really comes down to teamwork where we work together and each of us does what we excel at. My wife is up to her elbows in blood and guts all day (surgery, not meatpacking). Hardly leaves time for popping on the internet to do some research or participate in a forum discussion. Rather than her posting here and then sifting through the BS and misinformation to find the facts she will ask me the bike questions. I will sometimes respond in this forum to a post to share knowledge that my wife (and I) have learned over the years. I enjoy the internet, my wife tolerates it. 

If we are on a group ride and someone flats or has a mechanical I will help them. Should someone crash or have a medical emergency my wife will help them. Yes my wife can change her own flats but I dont think you want me trying to save your life.

Hope this is not too flamey but your original post just kind of came off on the accusatory side rather than the curiuos side. That's just one _guy's_ perspective.


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## kaotikgrl (Dec 14, 2006)

.....


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