# For the wimmin...



## orbit (Feb 7, 2007)

and any of the guys reading this, have sympathy. A girlfriend of mine with recurring breast cysts has to have mammograms every 6 months. She just sent me this. 

*Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO
Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of your car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE
Freeze two bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
*

And don't get me started on pap smears!


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## Spirito (Nov 26, 2001)

orbit said:


> and any of the guys reading this, have sympathy.


trust me they do, perhaps more than you can imagine.

I am :cryin: right now


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

orbit said:


> and any of the guys reading this, have sympathy. A girlfriend of mine with recurring breast cysts has to have mammograms every 6 months. She just sent me this.
> 
> *Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
> 
> ...


You forgot the part where they say "and DON'T BREATHE!"

Oh, and no underarm deodorant. I don't understand why.


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## Rollo Tommassi (Feb 5, 2004)

*There's aluminum in deodorants*



il sogno said:


> You forgot the part where they say "and DON'T BREATHE!"
> 
> Oh, and no underarm deodorant. I don't understand why.


Aluminum, magnesium....metallic compounds that affect the radiograph...


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

How did I miss this the first time around!!!    It's all so true. A male friend of mine asked me to describe a mamogram. I told him to put his testicles in a vise, and smash them flat.  Smelling salts brought him back to life.....


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

Rollo Tommassi said:


> Aluminum, magnesium....metallic compounds that affect the radiograph...


Ah, thank you!


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

snapdragen said:


> How did I miss this the first time around!!!    It's all so true. A male friend of mine asked me to describe a mamogram. I told him to put his testicles in a vise, and smash them flat.  Smelling salts brought him back to life.....


I know. I missed this the first time around too. 

It must have slipped in here through some sort of Aussie wrinkle in the RBR forum continuum of time and space. :crazy:


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## Mr Wood (Feb 23, 2006)

and yet, somehow, Spirito didn't miss it.


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## sundrop (Feb 15, 2008)

it's not too bad if you are a member of the BTC, but i've heard that members of the IBTC say it's quite painful


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

sundrop said:


> it's not too bad if you are a member of the BTC, but i've heard that members of the IBTC say it's quite painful


So I've heard. It can be very painful for men too, I've seen a couple in the clinic I go to.


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## indysteel (Jul 21, 2006)

I got my baseline when I was 30 (my mom lost both breasts at age 34), so I didn't really know what to expect from it--having few friends old enough to warn me. I'm glad in some ways that I didn't because it was, indeed, pretty painful. Mammography has actually gotten slightly more comfortable in recent years, but as a small-chested woman, it's still pretty darn awful. They always end up having to reshoot my films because of my size. I just try to go to my happy place. That damn robe thing they make you wear doesn't help. 

All that said, getting a mammogram and catching something early is far better than the alternative. So if you're reading this and are now afraid of going, don't be. The mammogram may hurt, but it feels really good to take care of yourself by getting one.


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

indysteel said:


> All that said, getting a mammogram and catching something early is far better than the alternative. So if you're reading this and are now afraid of going, don't be. The mammogram may hurt, but it feels really good to take care of yourself by getting one.


+1,000,000,000

Don't let the horror stories scare you, I've had some that didn't hurt at all, others that were OMGWTF! I was a member of the every six months club for awhile, so now I never miss my yearly checkup.


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## orbit (Feb 7, 2007)

Ah, thank heavens! I thought I'd created the greatest posting blunder of all time with the deafening silence this thread received.... (not even an "I'd hit it" reply from Uzzie.)

As for Spirito, I think his antenna is tuned to detect the word "breast" no matter the context and even if typed in braille. 

Plus 1 on hospital "damn robe" - they are either nasty cotton things with threads hanging off, or made out of a paper cleaning wipe - either way they can be guaranteed to gape and blow in the breeze wherever is likely to cause you the most embarrassment.

I've never heard how difficult a mammogram can be if you are really small breasted, but yes, ouch! Likewise I cant imagine how a guy would fare undergoing one, might be the only time he'd be grateful for manboobs. (I said "boobs").

I know two women who have had breast cancer, one in her early 30s and the other early 50s, its a disease which doesnt discriminate so yes, self exam every month.. better yet, train your partner!


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## Sashana (Dec 19, 2007)

The paper 'gown' is useless. Since it is always a lady technician I just ask if I really need to bother and the answer is always 'no.' So I just forego the paper and go bareback. Heck, the tech sees everything anyway!

Sashana


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

orbit said:


> Ah, thank heavens! I thought I'd created the greatest posting blunder of all time with the deafening silence this thread received.... (not even an "I'd hit it" reply from Uzzie.)
> 
> As for Spirito, I think his antenna is tuned to detect the word "breast" no matter the context and even if typed in braille.


LOL, that's very funny. 


/Spirito's ears must be burning.


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## sky'sthelimit (Feb 15, 2008)

orbit said:


> Ah, thank heavens! I thought I'd created the greatest posting blunder of all time with the deafening silence this thread received....


you described it pretty well!
a little too well...
you reminded me that I need to make an appointment ( again) funny how a year goes by fast when it comes to some matters.


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## indysteel (Jul 21, 2006)

Orbit, I loved your post!!!! It's hysterical and oh so accurate. I'm still amazed, however, at how many people put off getting a mammogram for whatever reason, so I wanted to encourage them to get one no matter how much they may hurt. 

And I'd train my partner if I had one! Grrrr.


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## il sogno (Jul 15, 2002)

I went in for a mammogram a couple of months ago. They got a new machine at this place. The old one was like a car crusher. This one was smaller and had carbon fiber plates. It was much nicer.


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## Sweet Milk (Oct 13, 2004)

I am a guy and had one done, add to the description above to have someone grab your chest and pull so that any tissue at all can be stuffed in the machine. This certainly was painful and not the most dignified moment in my life.

Trust me on this though: putting testicles in a vice would result in a whole different level of pain.


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

Oh hon, that had to hurt! Hope everything came out OK.


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## Sweet Milk (Oct 13, 2004)

It turned out fine fortunately; this certainly was an experience I could have done without though.


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## dirtgurl (Dec 1, 2007)

Ugh. I haven't had to start those yet, and my mom and aunts have never done them (I come from one of those families that eats, drinks and smokes all the wrongs things, and never goes to the doctor, but still stays healthy and lives a long time). All the stories have been from more distant relatives or things I've read. The description sounds so appealing.

So big boobs = less painful? They're actually good for something besides just getting in the way?


- Raven


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

Sweet Milk said:


> It turned out fine fortunately; this certainly was an experience I could have done without though.


:lol: :yesnod: :lol: :yesnod: :lol: :yesnod:


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