# hoping to prove boyfriend wrong



## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

My boyfriend is an avid cyclist, runner, etc. You name it, he does it. (races, triathalons) Well, I've been running some, but i'm not very good, lol (slow). I'm wanting to start cycling so I can start racing. he tends to think i'm not going to be able to do it (nice, huh). so, i'm out to prove him wrong. wish me luck on finding a bike and starting to ride so I can outrace him lol. men, what's up with them?!:idea:


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## Pablo (Jul 7, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> My boyfriend is an avid cyclist, runner, etc. You name it, he does it. (races, triathalons) Well, I've been running some, but i'm not very good, lol (slow). I'm wanting to start cycling so I can start racing. he tends to think i'm not going to be able to do it (nice, huh). so, i'm out to prove him wrong. wish me luck on finding a bike and starting to ride so I can outrace him lol. men, what's up with them?!:idea:


It sounds like your boyfriend is a contolling and emotionally abusive parasite, i.e. a d*ck. You need a new boyfriend and a bike.


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## Export A (Mar 18, 2007)

Women.....why do they hang around with such losers


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

he's very competitive.....is all. when i get my bike, i hope his ego isn't too bruised when i beat him, LOL


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## Pablo (Jul 7, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> he's very competitive.....is all. when i get my bike, i hope his ego isn't too bruised when i beat him, LOL


Mike Tyson was really competitive with Robyn Givens as well.


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

Prove him wrong by:

1. Dumping him. If your dream was silly and unachievable (i.e., playing QB in the NFL), I'd hope he would be honest and tell you. But what you want to do, pretty much anyone can do. He should be supportive and encouraging. It's not going to get any better, so dump him.

2. Taking up racing without him. You don't need to beat him, and I wouldn't even bother trying. Just work on completing a race, then at doing well against your own level. Should your paths ever cross again, tell him you still aren't sure if he is right or not, so you'll just have to keep racing.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

mohair_chair said:


> Prove him wrong by:
> 
> 1. Dumping him. If your dream was silly and unachievable (i.e., playing QB in the NFL), I'd hope he would be honest and tell you. But what you want to do, pretty much anyone can do. He should be supportive and encouraging. It's not going to get any better, so dump him.
> 
> 2. Taking up racing without him. You don't need to beat him, and I wouldn't even bother trying. Just work on completing a race, then at doing well against your own level. Should your paths ever cross again, tell him you still aren't sure if he is right or not, so you'll just have to keep racing.



good answers; 6 years and 1 child makes me tend to want to hang in there..... but it's a nice dream LOL:thumbsup:


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## Pablo (Jul 7, 2004)

mohair_chair said:


> He should be supportive and encouraging. It's not going to get any better, so dump him.


Well said.


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> good answers; 6 years and 1 child makes me tend to want to hang in there..... but it's a nice dream LOL:thumbsup:


You've been with the guy for 6 years and had a kid with him but haven't gotten married? What are you waiting for?


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

valerie3boys said:


> good answers; 6 years and 1 child makes me tend to want to hang in there..... but it's a nice dream LOL:thumbsup:


Too bad. At least tell him you SHOULD dump him. And that he needs to be supportive and encouraging. Then go and do it without him.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

mohair_chair said:


> Too bad. At least tell him you SHOULD dump him. And that he needs to be supportive and encouraging. Then go and do it without him.


sounds like a plan:thumbsup:


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## Jett (Mar 21, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> My boyfriend is an avid cyclist, runner, etc. You name it, he does it. (races, triathalons) Well, I've been running some, but i'm not very good, lol (slow). I'm wanting to start cycling so I can start racing. he tends to think i'm not going to be able to do it (nice, huh). so, i'm out to prove him wrong. wish me luck on finding a bike and starting to ride so I can outrace him lol. men, what's up with them?!:idea:


Hate to tell you this but not all men are like that. Some of us (if not most) are supportive of our wives/GF when they take up new challenges.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

i think i opened up a can of worms....


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Jett said:


> Hate to tell you this but not all men are like that. Some of us (if not most) are supportive of our wives/GF when they take up new challenges.


it's a nice thought


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> i think i opened up a can of worms....


cans of worms are our speciality. 

Your screen name is "3 boys" do you have 2 more kids then or are you counting the BF as one boy and you have 1 more?


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Bocephus Jones II said:


> cans of worms are our speciality.
> 
> Your screen name is "3 boys" do you have 2 more kids then or are you counting the BF as one boy and you have 1 more?


i had 2 sons before the BF and I had 1 together, hence Valerie3boys , although he could count as a kid, maybe i should change to 4 boys LOL


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

valerie3boys said:


> i had 2 sons before the BF and I had 1 together, hence Valerie3boys , although he could count as a kid, maybe i should change to 4 boys LOL


Well you do have your hands full from the sounds of it. Good luck in any event. Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't accomplish if you really want to do it.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Bocephus Jones II said:


> Well you do have your hands full from the sounds of it. Good luck in any event. Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't accomplish if you really want to do it.


trust me, i know that, which is why i'm here:arf:


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## benchpress265 (Nov 7, 2006)

Get the bike and beat his butt. I work out with a women (weight training), and I got her into biking, even found a bike for her, we always compete with each other. She has her goals and I have mine, but we push each other to the limit.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

benchpress265 said:


> Get the bike and beat his butt. I work out with a women (weight training), and I got her into biking, even found a bike for her, we always compete with each other. She has her goals and I have mine, but we push each other to the limit.


Just gotta come up with the cash


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## bahueh (May 11, 2004)

*get a bike..*

start reading the racing forum...

unfortunately, if he's coming from a long riding background you'll probably never be able to 'beat him" as riding endurance and technique and learned over time with hard work (he's got a head start)....needless to say, I'd find a way to put him in his place with his unwillingness to support you in your effort...sounds pretty insecure about his talent. 
send him my way, I'll school him. 

triathlete = mediocre talent in 3 sports. a road racer he is not.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

bahueh said:


> start reading the racing forum...
> 
> unfortunately, if he's coming from a long riding background you'll probably never be able to 'beat him" as riding endurance and technique and learned over time with hard work (he's got a head start)....needless to say, I'd find a way to put him in his place with his unwillingness to support you in your effort...sounds pretty insecure about his talent.
> send him my way, I'll school him.
> ...


ha ha, he's pretty good at cycling. He's really good at running, winning most races or at least 1st in his age group, which is usually in the top few coming in. he's a crazy race junkie, which I am not which is probably why he says that. I'm just there to have fun...lol


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## benchpress265 (Nov 7, 2006)

Find a good used bike, I got my female bud a nice starter bike for $500, a Giant TCR 2 with shimano 105 group on it. Bike was in very good shape, just had to tweek the front shifter a bit and installed a short stem. Started her off in cages for pedals though. Told her she is going clipless in the spring. She had an old K-mart mountain bike when I got her riding again and she could not make many hills, well she has had the road bike for a month now and she is now making them hills. Determined women and she is 48 to boot and does not look a day over 30. Exercise does work!


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

benchpress265 said:


> Find a good used bike, I got my female bud a nice starter bike for $500, a Giant TCR 2 with shimano 105 group on it. Bike was in very good shape, just had to tweek the front shifter a bit and installed a short stem. Started her off in cages for pedals though. Told her she is going clipless in the spring. She had an old K-mart mountain bike when I got her riding again and she could not make many hills, well she has had the road bike for a month now and she is now making them hills. Determined women and she is 48 to boot and does not look a day over 30. Exercise does work!


i found a used one i want...i posted about it, just gotta come up with the cash. it's the trek pilot 5.2 2006 model (pink) carbon fiber....i tried to get him to buy it for me but so far it's a no go. He has a good 7000+ into his bike, i figured he could get me one too but i guess not, lol. i'm working on figuring it out.

i do exercise a lot. i do cardiokickboxing and step aerobics...and running...but not a lot of running lol.


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## bahueh (May 11, 2004)

*that may be true..*



valerie3boys said:


> ha ha, he's pretty good at cycling. He's really good at running, winning most races or at least 1st in his age group, which is usually in the top few coming in. he's a crazy race junkie, which I am not which is probably why he says that. I'm just there to have fun...lol


but I have yet to meet any amateur triathlete who can be truly competitive at RR's...they hang in the pack, but are typically dropped in climbs, pack fodder at best in sprints, and aren't used to pushing their limits in TT's as they typically just try to "maintain" in tri's...
I"m generalizing a bit, but that's what I've witnessed....

you should go have fun, absolutely!!...but with another BF. :thumbsup:


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## bahueh (May 11, 2004)

*oh, so he's..*



valerie3boys said:


> i tried to get him to buy it for me but so far it's a no go. He has a good 7000+ into his bike, .


a real piece of work, eh? sounds like a total catch...will push 7000$+ into an amateur level bike, but won't even help pay to promote your enjoyment of the sport. 

My GF got into CCX this year..I welcomed it by buying her new gloves and glasses and will actually driver her about 2 hours next weekend to her first race.....graciously.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

bahueh said:


> but I have yet to meet any amateur triathlete who can be truly competitive at RR's...they hang in the pack, but are typically dropped in climbs, pack fodder at best in sprints, and aren't used to pushing their limits in TT's as they typically just try to "maintain" in tri's...
> I"m generalizing a bit, but that's what I've witnessed....
> 
> you should go have fun, absolutely!!...but with another BF. :thumbsup:


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## Keeping up with Junior (Feb 27, 2003)

*Bike Racing*



valerie3boys said:


> ha ha, he's pretty good at cycling. He's really good at running, winning most races or at least 1st in his age group, which is usually in the top few coming in...


Sounds like your fourth _boy_ does more triathalons rather than actual road racing or crits. Keep in mind that there is a huge difference in both ability and atmosphere. In a road race pack skills, tactics and the ability to conserve energy become very important. 

At the end of a triathalon or 10K everyone hangs around clapping and cheering for the last person across the line. Prizes are handed out to just about anyone with a pulse once you cut and carve the group down based on age, gender, etc. Basically it is a giant *HugFest*. 

Go to a crit or road race and there is not a lot of love. You will get yelled at during the race for your mistakes as well as those of others. The experienced riders will prey upon you, using your weaknesses to their advantage and then dropping you when they are finished with you. The only places that are even counted are those that are in the money so if you are not finishing in the top ten don't expect to see any results, in fact just hope the officials have not taken down the finish line if you are off the back. Many womens races will include Cat 1/2 pros who a beginner will have no hope of hanging with. To get any pack experience you will need to race in the men's race which brings its own challenges as the lower Cats are littered with huge egos that don't match their legs and whose attititude will make your boyfriend look like a prince.



bahueh said:


> triathlete = mediocre talent in 3 sports. a road racer he is not.


You did not mention swimming, no cycling and limited running so it is unlikely you will ever be beating your boyfriend in his chosen discpipline, Tri's. Even a good time trialer can suck in a road race and especially in a crit as they often lack pack skills/experience. If your goal is really to beat your boyfriend then road racing is your chance. A couple of years of disciplined training along with a lot of pack riding/racing will put you in a position to enter the same Cat as him in a road race and simply out race him, regularly finishing in front of him.

I did Tri's back in college and twenty years later started road racing with my son. *I have a blast road racing* and used to be able to hold my own with my kid but now that he has gotten smart and fast he can handily beat me in a race. Don't take my comments about road racing as negative, just trying to give you a realistic idea of the difference between bike racing and the Tri hugfest you might be familiar with. It's not quite as bad as I described but it is definitely different.



valerie3boys said:


> ...i'm out to prove him wrong.


If a man spoke in the forest and there was no woman around to hear him, would he still be wrong?


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

bahueh said:


> a real piece of work, eh? sounds like a total catch...will push 7000$+ into an amateur level bike, but won't even help pay to promote your enjoyment of the sport.
> 
> My GF got into CCX this year..I welcomed it by buying her new gloves and glasses and will actually driver her about 2 hours next weekend to her first race.....graciously.


sounds like a lucky woman. 

he has 1 to 2 races every weekend so if I do decide to race and they are not what he is doing, i'm on my own...


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

Keeping up with Junior said:


> Go to a crit or road race and there is not a lot of love. You will get yelled at during the race for your mistakes as well as those of others. The experienced riders will prey upon you, using your weaknesses to their advantage and then dropping you when they are finished with you. The only places that are even counted are those that are in the money so if you are not finishing in the top ten don't expect to see any results, in fact just hope the officials have not taken down the finish line if you are off the back. Many womens races will include Cat 1/2 pros who a beginner will have no hope of hanging with. To get any pack experience you will need to race in the men's race which brings its own challenges as the lower Cats are littered with huge egos that don't match their legs and whose attititude will make your boyfriend look like a prince.


Gee...and they wonder why more people don't get into road racing.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

maybe i should clarify. he just recently got back into cycling in the past year, having done it when he was younger. he is mainly a runner though....is not a good swimmer, better at kayaking. the triathalons, he just starting doing those...he's only completed a couple of crits...and he belongs to a cycling club..that is pretty darn good. but enough about him lol


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## logansites (Jan 4, 2007)

im almost certain you havent said anything good about him in this entire thread. he sounds like a tool.

edit: Good luck with the racing. It says in your profile you live in Milton, PA. I just moved from PA to NC. I cant remember where Milton is. I lived near Gettysburg.


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## Cory (Jan 29, 2004)

*Please tell me you're not hot....*

Because one more hot chick staying with a d!ck boyfriend is going to push me over the edge. What's THAT all about?


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## revolator (Oct 11, 2007)

*Tool-B-Gone*

We got your back!

Whatever you need Valerie:

- Help with dumping the tool
- Bike suggestions
- Training suggestions
- Nurturing and support your missing, correction --> should be getting
- venting, when the tool uses you to pump up his over blown ego
- We might be able to find you a new bf, oops I mean cycling buddy in your area to help you train

You should aim high, and see how far you can push yourself. You should also be prepared for the worse case scenario, where you still might not beat him, and not due to him being any better. This way you're in a no lose proposition, but to have fun and challenge yourself.

I'm going to have to repeat this phrase. It gonna hurt me more than it hurts you:
Why buy the cow when your getting the milk for free?

My first advice, figure out how to make him pay!

That's all for now. You have the right attitude.:thumbsup:


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## OneGear (Aug 19, 2005)

is it possible for the RBR commune to not stir **** when there is one minor disagreement with the SO being posted? the original poster asked for training/start up advice not relationship advice. so why is everyone prying?

goodluck val. test ride some different bikes and make sure this is really what you want, and you're getting into cycling for the right reasons..you don't need a real glitzy ride the first time around so i'd read up more about bike fit and bike training than buying that dura-ace build. most importantly, ride ride ride!


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## revolator (Oct 11, 2007)

*Dead wood*

Onegear,

You don't consider shedding dead weight good training advice? lol


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## Mr. Versatile (Nov 24, 2005)

The only suggestion I'd make is to check your motives. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but it sounds like you'd like to get into the sport to "teach him a lesson." IMO that's not a wise decision. When I do things like making a comittment, whether to a person, sport, career, or whatever, I like to check my motives to make sure I'm doing it because *I*want to. That's the only way I can make things last.


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## sonex305 (Jun 17, 2007)

You can want to do it to prove him wrong, but in the end, you have to want to do it FOR YOURSELF! Doing something to spite someone else, while sometimes a good motivator, often is a big failure in the long term.

Either way, I certainly do wish you luck and hope you can stick with it and succeed. For yourself...


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## phil. (Aug 3, 2004)

Valerie, you definitely will be able to beat him at least once while on a ride, it likely won't be an official race, but I have no doubt you will eventually be able to pop him unexpectedly on a city limit sign sprint!


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## lookrider (Dec 3, 2006)

Cory said:


> Because one more hot chick staying with a d!ck boyfriend is going to push me over the edge. What's THAT all about?


I'm a real A$$hole!!!! You should see how hot my girlfriends are!

BTW, don't jump.


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## revolator (Oct 11, 2007)

Lookrider,

So, how's the free milk? lol


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## California L33 (Jan 20, 2006)

valerie3boys said:


> My boyfriend is an avid cyclist, runner, etc. You name it, he does it. (races, triathalons) Well, I've been running some, but i'm not very good, lol (slow). I'm wanting to start cycling so I can start racing. he tends to think i'm not going to be able to do it (nice, huh). so, i'm out to prove him wrong. wish me luck on finding a bike and starting to ride so I can outrace him lol. men, what's up with them?!:idea:


 You want to outrace him- get a 1000cc Honda. 

Actually, and generalizing here, road bicyclists have 3 specialties, though they overlap a bit-

-climbers

-time trialers

-sprinters

To some extent they have different physiques. If your boyfriend is best at one, and you have the body of one of the others, concentrate on developing those skills and only race him in that discipline.


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## MystA RavE (Aug 16, 2007)

Maybe hes right...everybody was so quick to demonize him. Perhaps he knows the type of person you are and cycling isn't for everybody. He should have just did the right thing and nodded to everything you said.


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## mandovoodoo (Aug 27, 2005)

I would think time trialing would be a way to start. Placing at a higher percentile than the boyfriend would represent winning.

However, I can't see someone becoming committed enough to really do well with an outside target (beat boyfriend) as a goal. Inner goals provide more fire for the long haul.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

well, i'll have to wait awhile to get the bike anyway, he won't loan me the money......so no funds, no bike. *sigh*


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

well, i'm not going to be racing anytime soon, he won't even LOAN me the money for the bike...UGH


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

$hit i posted that twice, lol


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## Keeping up with Junior (Feb 27, 2003)

*Velodrome*



mandovoodoo said:


> I would think time trialing would be a way to start...


Yuck, I always find time trials boring. What about track racing? The short/multiple events in an evening can really enhance the learning curve. The track also gives you multiple opportunities to beat your boyfriend each evening, you might enjoy boxing him in the miss n out. The pit area has a social atmosphere. My kid loves the velodrome. Are you are reasonably close to TTown? 

Most tracks have rental bikes available so that takes away the significant investment in a road race bike or time trial bike. All you need to buy is a servicable training bike to put miles in on the road. As you put your budget together for a bike don't forget about all the extras, helmet, shoes, pedals, saddle bottles, cages, tool kit & pump, shorts, jersey, etc., etc.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

logansites said:


> im almost certain you havent said anything good about him in this entire thread. he sounds like a tool.
> 
> edit: Good luck with the racing. It says in your profile you live in Milton, PA. I just moved from PA to NC. I cant remember where Milton is. I lived near Gettysburg.


Milton is in central PA. I think about an hour from Harrisburg and 30 minutes from Williamsport.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

OneGear said:


> is it possible for the RBR commune to not stir **** when there is one minor disagreement with the SO being posted? the original poster asked for training/start up advice not relationship advice. so why is everyone prying?
> 
> goodluck val. test ride some different bikes and make sure this is really what you want, and you're getting into cycling for the right reasons..you don't need a real glitzy ride the first time around so i'd read up more about bike fit and bike training than buying that dura-ace build. most importantly, ride ride ride!


thanks for sticking up for me with my BF issues. i love him but he's a handful lol

I do acutally have a bike but it is a "comfort bike." I actually like riding it, which is why i want to get into the racing series...... I went out and rode 5 miles last night on it. lol....

this is my bike: http://www.raleighusa.com/items.asp?deptid=6&itemid=362&childid=564 in women's green.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

California L33 said:


> You want to outrace him- get a 1000cc Honda.
> 
> Actually, and generalizing here, road bicyclists have 3 specialties, though they overlap a bit-
> 
> ...


funny you should mention the honda, he actually sold his honda motorcycle for his bicycle LOL


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## sonex305 (Jun 17, 2007)

valerie3boys said:


> well, i'll have to wait awhile to get the bike anyway, he won't loan me the money......so no funds, no bike. *sigh*


Nice guy. It sounds like he's scared you'll beat him. :thumbsup:


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## denmikseb (Aug 7, 2005)

He is self centered and would not be a good loser. Be careful. If my wife ever wanted to join me in my cycling I would readily encourage her and want her to get the best and do her best, it would never cross my mind to discourage her. If she said she would outride me some day, we might joke about it, maybe even make a bet. Your boy friend is not joking. He will not help you get a bike because it is a threat to his manhood. He is number 1 . He is me in my younger days.


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## bahueh (May 11, 2004)

*so you were once..*



denmikseb said:


> He is self centered and would not be a good loser. Be careful. If my wife ever wanted to join me in my cycling I would readily encourage her and want her to get the best and do her best, it would never cross my mind to discourage her. If she said she would outride me some day, we might joke about it, maybe even make a bet. Your boy friend is not joking. He will not help you get a bike because it is a threat to his manhood. He is number 1 . He is me in my younger days.


a moreonic asshat too? (more comment on him, not you).

Val- go kick his arss!! Bike shops have payment plans..if this is something you really want, save a bit, put down a payment, and ride it home.


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## gnarSKYLER (Aug 23, 2007)

I loved Cory's reply so much, I had to put it as my signature.

But, back to your point, I'm only a 17 year old, but I would never think of treating a girl the way you're being treated. If my parents ever found out I was treating a girl the way you're being treated, my dad would personally whip the crap out of me, then my mom would come in and beat me. No joke. 

Maybe you should tell his mommy. I'm sure she'd stick up for you. If she has half a heart.


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## bahueh (May 11, 2004)

*teh abruptness has its place..*



Bocephus Jones II said:


> Gee...and they wonder why more people don't get into road racing.


you screw up in a pack and you can hurt a LOT of people...internal policing is almost necessary...those of us that do race regularly are out to watch our own backs and make sure we finish outside of the ambulance.

but I digress....back to harassing Snake in the PO..


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## Touch0Gray (May 29, 2003)

First of all.....as a man, I have had my a$$ handed to me by more women than I care to think about....

That doesn't stop me from chasing..... ON THE BIKE.....

Last weekend I was out for a ride and saw a ride about 3/4 of a mile ahead of me....I had about 5 miles before I needed to turn off to go home.... I chased and chased and chased.....I finally reeled them in and it turned out to be a HOT young lady riding a BRAND NEW Pinarello, Dogma I think, fully Record ... The bike was as sweet as she was....

SO....the moral of the story is....sell his bike on e-bay and buy one for yourself. If he calls you on it, deny it, we'll help make up a story....


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## Mr. Versatile (Nov 24, 2005)

Touch0Gray said:


> That doesn't stop me from chasing..... ON THE BIKE.....


Hey Touch - just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu.


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## Touch0Gray (May 29, 2003)

Mr. Versatile said:


> Hey Touch - just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu.



No joke and let me tell you, I would have loved to take a look at the fine print.


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## Touch0Gray (May 29, 2003)

And i still think Valerie should sell her boyfriends bike and buy one of her own....or....just put it on his credit card......after all she IS the mother of his son....


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## denmikseb (Aug 7, 2005)

bahueh said:


> a moreonic asshat too? (more comment on him, not you).
> 
> Val- go kick his arss!! Bike shops have payment plans..if this is something you really want, save a bit, put down a payment, and ride it home.


Yup. I will never be able to repay my wife for sticking with me until I finally matured a bit.


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## Kawboy8 (Feb 26, 2006)

valerie3boys said:


> My boyfriend is an avid cyclist, runner, etc. You name it, he does it. (races, triathalons) Well, I've been running some, but i'm not very good, lol (slow). I'm wanting to start cycling so I can start racing. he tends to think i'm not going to be able to do it (nice, huh). so, i'm out to prove him wrong. wish me luck on finding a bike and starting to ride so I can outrace him lol. men, what's up with them?!:idea:


I think men are just better than women at some things. Not sure racing is one of them though. Run faster...earn his respect (atheletically). What is "running some"? Once a week? "I'll start again on Monday" type stuff? If you want to prove him wrong, you have to get to work...he will beleive you after you show some determination (if that's your goal).


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## Kawboy8 (Feb 26, 2006)

valerie3boys said:


> thanks for sticking up for me with my BF issues. i love him but he's a handful lol
> 
> I do acutally have a bike but it is a "comfort bike." I actually like riding it, which is why i want to get into the racing series...... I went out and rode 5 miles last night on it. lol....
> 
> this is my bike: http://www.raleighusa.com/items.asp?deptid=6&itemid=362&childid=564 in women's green.


I feel bad for you're bf....sounds to me like you're pretending to want to get into cycling but you're not motivated. Run more...you should be running 5 miles, not riding 5 miles...no wonder he doesnt believe you. Riding 5 miles is not even riding...that's what you do with your toddlers, not what a cyclist does. All you bf bashers need to settle down. If my wife came home and said "Hey sweety...guess what, I rode 5 miles today"...I think "yeah, that's terrific" would be my thought. 
I do think it's cute that you think you will beat him one day.


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## Davis69 (Mar 20, 2007)

*2 cents*

.....


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## Davis69 (Mar 20, 2007)

*1 cent*

Given that I am in a similar situation, I would recommend:

1) If you want to train with him, offer to train on off-days or rest days. My partner generally feels insecure about training with me on my heavy days (understandably), so I offer to do stuff on the rest day. It works out pretty well and she doesn't feel like she's holding me back. Hopefully this will change someday and she'll kick my ass.

2) Do your own thing. Join a tri club, especially if you already do 2 of 3 events. These groups are generally very supportive and you can usually find a used bike of excellent quality that someone is trying to unload (although tri bikes will be more abundant, and if you really want to do a road race, these may be uselessly aero, except for TTs). I can't predict the future, but I bet your partner will be pleasantly surprised by this. 

Hope that helps


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## Art853 (May 30, 2003)

I hope you get into tris and cycling for yourself. Because you want to do it and enjoy it. Not to try and beat him at his own game. You have to enjoy the process independent of the results. Check your reasoning for getting involved to make sure it is something you want. Set achievable goals and milestones for yourself. Perhaps there is a local club that you can join for training sessions. Having others to work out with at a specific time and place will make it easier to schedule into your life and harder to miss workouts when you will meet others there and they expect you to show up.


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## bluemarinoni (Mar 15, 2007)

I have an idea- we crazy cyclists always have stupid amounts of spare parts around. How bout we prove the power of the community over the power of a person, and build Valerie a bike.

I've built many bicycles for friends, and I'm foolishly convinced we can put together a fine and competitive (if only slightly outdated) ride out of what we all have hanging out. I'm volunteering as mechanic, and have a ChrisKing 1" threadless headset and a stem to put on the chopping block. 

Someone's gotta have a frame. An old Specialized maybe? What sez all?

Off to the gym.

C.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Kawboy8 said:


> I feel bad for you're bf....sounds to me like you're pretending to want to get into cycling but you're not motivated. Run more...you should be running 5 miles, not riding 5 miles...no wonder he doesnt believe you. Riding 5 miles is not even riding...that's what you do with your toddlers, not what a cyclist does. All you bf bashers need to settle down. If my wife came home and said "Hey sweety...guess what, I rode 5 miles today"...I think "yeah, that's terrific" would be my thought.
> I do think it's cute that you think you will beat him one day.


well, until i get a better bike...that is about all i'm willing lol


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

revolator said:


> We got your back!
> 
> Whatever you need Valerie:
> 
> ...


ha ha :thumbsup:


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

lookrider said:


> I'm a real A$$hole!!!! You should see how hot my girlfriends are!
> 
> BTW, don't jump.


lol


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## Lifelover (Jul 8, 2004)

Valerie,

Do you have a sister? (LOL)


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## physasst (Oct 1, 2005)

*Agreed*



denmikseb said:


> He is self centered and would not be a good loser. Be careful. If my wife ever wanted to join me in my cycling I would readily encourage her and want her to get the best and do her best, it would never cross my mind to discourage her. If she said she would outride me some day, we might joke about it, maybe even make a bet. Your boy friend is not joking. He will not help you get a bike because it is a threat to his manhood. He is number 1 . He is me in my younger days.



Sounds like an a-hole....I just bought my wife a bike, as she is wanting to get into road riding and some sprint level tri's, I am totally supportive of her, I think it'll be cool. 
IN fact, next summer, when she is competing at Lifetime, I'm going to be there with my daughter, cheering her on, and taking pics. Your SO sounds WAY too absorbed with himself.....


Val......go join a masters swim group.....swim in secret (ie, don't tell him it's a master's group) practice for like 6 months and then HAND his a*s to him on the swim. Becoming a good swimmer is MUCH harder than people think, and requires an open mind and some commitment.

Baheuh....not all triathlete's.......I come from a short road racing background over the past several years, and excelled at TTing. Never as good on the hilly courses, but usually finished middle to front middle of the pack, and often just in the top ten in the cat 5's. I do agree however, that many triathletes are weaker in this area. It's hard, especially as being a good fishie requires a lot of time and practice, at it is SO technique dependent. Becoming a top road racer is simply not possible when you are training for 3 separate events. Unless you don't work, don't have a family or any other commitments....


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Hey, I just got in trouble for using LOL (gasp) ha ha. No, I do not have a sister. I have a brother, but you wouldn't be interested in him.  lol


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## Pablo (Jul 7, 2004)

OneGear said:


> is it possible for the RBR commune to not stir **** when there is one minor disagreement with the SO being posted? the original poster asked for training/start up advice not relationship advice. so why is everyone prying?


No, it's clearly not. She opened the door with a Freudian slip that is far more interesting than the standard "what bike" "what trianing plan" questions. If you don't want people to pry, don't leave the door slightly ajar.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Hey, I'm not complaining


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## rogerstg (Aug 1, 2007)

valerie3boys said:


> well, until i get a better bike...that is about all i'm willing lol


That attitude is probably why your boyfriend said that he *tends to think* you will not do it (race). Either he was being honest, or he was trying to motivate you. He probably realizes that your 5 miles limit and blaming the equipment is not even close to illustrating the level of commitment/desire needed to want to race.

BTW, I'm not saying that your attitude is bad, it's just not in line with your goal of racing.

FWIW, as a comparison:
In June my GF told me that she would like to participate in a 2 day 100 mi charity ride with her cousin. The ride is in the spring 2008. She wanted to be able to finish without embarrassing herself. She had never ridden a road bike and her idea of riding was to casually pedal 30% and coast 70%.

Through July and the better part of August she rode a 15+ y/o Huffy men's department store bike an average of 5 days a week, normally on a 20 mile loop. She also did several 30 mile and a 40 mile ride during that time.

During some of those rides (usually while waiting for her to catch up), I commented that when she finally gets a road bike she'll be waiting for us. She did finally buy a bike and she does wait for me from time to time, esp at the top of big hills. Obviously pedaling a heavy bike with fat tires is pretty good conditioning.

You need at least that much motivation/desire if you really want to compete.:thumbsup:


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

rogerstg said:


> That attitude is probably why your boyfriend said that he *tends to think* you will not do it (race). Either he was being honest, or he was trying to motivate you. He probably realizes that your 5 miles limit and blaming the equipment is not even close to illustrating the level of commitment/desire needed to want to race.
> 
> BTW, I'm not saying that your attitude is bad, it's just not in line with your goal of racing.
> 
> ...


wow, kudos to your GF! I just feel i always get the shaft because he has all the "good" equipment....and i always get stuck with crap, so there is probably a little resentment there. I only went 5 miles cuz that was all i had time for before dark. 

see what i mean?


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## fleck (Mar 25, 2005)

sell his old bike so you can buy yours...

more seriously, after you find a bike, hit the local shops and ask about women's clubs around town. Hopefully you'll find some great mentors and a far more encouraging environment. And do it for yourself, not to 'prove him wrong' Racing takes a lot of time and money. It's tough with a family. 

and do your intervals!


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

dfleck said:


> sell his old bike so you can buy yours...
> 
> more seriously, after you find a bike, hit the local shops and ask about women's clubs around town. Hopefully you'll find some great mentors and a far more encouraging environment. And do it for yourself, not to 'prove him wrong' Racing takes a lot of time and money. It's tough with a family.
> 
> and do your intervals!


don't i know it (re, the money). he is killing us with his expenses. he is talking about buying a carbon kayak for next year...and they are really expensive, i told him if he does (he just bought a 1000 kayak a couple months ago), i'll be moving out the next day.


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## russellhitchcock (Feb 18, 2006)

ya know, you should go rode a ride on his stuff... ride those pretty Zipp's, if it fits, ride the Religh, probably need your own shoes. i know if a wife of gf did that with my stuff, getting them their own bike would become a priority to keep them off mine.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

ha ha. he won't even let me _*touch *_his bike, plus it is way too big...its like a 56 cm? and i'm only 5 foot tall.


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## russellhitchcock (Feb 18, 2006)

but his 56 frame runs 700c wheels, and your 50(ish) frame would also. you could have some fun on his wheels (ever seen the waterboy? What momma don't know, won't hurt her.)


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

russellhitchcock said:


> but his 56 frame runs 700c wheels, and your 50(ish) frame would also. you could have some fun on his wheels (ever seen the waterboy? What momma don't know, won't hurt her.)


haha. well, actually, they are saying (at least everything i read) that I would need 44 cm bike with 650 wheels....i'd be scared to death to get on his bike for fear I would "hurt" it in some way.


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## russellhitchcock (Feb 18, 2006)

5 foot, my bad. yeah, a 50 would be a bit big... don't know how or where i put that together. thank goodness i'm not selling bikes right now. and hey, if he already has 7000+ in this thing, what's another couple hundred if you broke something?


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

Uhm, my life would be on the line if i broke something (lol) actually he got the bike at a discount cuz his uncle owns a bike shop but really only sells the raleigh. he is trying to get me to get the raleigh...women's bike...cuz he can get about 1/2 off, but his daughter has that bike and i do NOT want the same one as her. we don't get along very well LOL


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## rogerstg (Aug 1, 2007)

valerie3boys said:


> he is trying to get me to get the raleigh...women's bike...cuz he can get about 1/2 off, but his daughter has that bike and i do NOT want the same one as her. we don't get along very well LOL


If I had the opportunity to buy bikes at cost from an lbs and get all the associated fitting, adjustment, expertise, etc., I don't think I'd care if Osama Bin Laden had the same bike. 

It's starting to look like this thread is more about self worth, competing with BF's spending, etc. than bike racing. :idea: 

"Paging Dr Phil - please report to the RBR beginners forum"


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

rogerstg said:


> If I had the opportunity to buy bikes at cost from an lbs and get all the associated fitting, adjustment, expertise, etc., I don't think I'd care if Osama Bin Laden had the same bike.
> 
> It's starting to look like this thread is more about self worth, competing with BF's spending, etc. than bike racing. :idea:
> 
> "Paging Dr Phil - please report to the RBR beginners forum"


u may have a point. he did say the 2008 models will be out soon and it would be a different bike. maybe i'll wait for that.:thumbsup:


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## Doggity (Mar 10, 2006)

You'll be kicking his butt in no time. Then we'll see what he's made of....


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## wim (Feb 28, 2005)

Doggity said:


> You'll be kicking his butt in no time. Then we'll see what he's made of....


Don't kid yourself, he's tough. He has to be, winning races while pedaling with his heels! On the other hand, some of that muscle on his upper arms really should go on his calves . . .


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## Touch0Gray (May 29, 2003)

wim said:


> Don't kid yourself, he's tough. He has to be, winning races while pedaling with his heels! On the other hand, some of that muscle on his upper arms really should go on his calves . . .



only pedaling with his heel with one foot..........looks to me like he didn;t get clipped in and was TRYING to fix that....


I NEVER would have noticed it if you hadn't brought it up...I look at pretty girls and bikes...guys.....not so much!


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## DM.Aelis (Jun 19, 2007)

Agreed, just noticed the heel/clip out thing. Kind of funny that you noticed that, I wouldn't ever have in the first place.

On topic...

While I have sympathy for the girl involved, because quite frankly her BF sounds like a self-absorbed jerk, this seems to me like some kind of "get back at him" move to prove him wrong. i.e. all for the wrong reasons.

I don't think going about cycling racing with an "LOL i'll show him he's stupid" attitude will benefit either him or the OP in the long run, and will most likely not result in cycling success. It has to be for the right reasons (fitness, fun, etc.).

I hope I'm wrong.


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## Apus^2 (Sep 5, 2007)

Just go out and buy the bike (easier said than done)--I have an account where i funnel a little bit of money away each month. And get him a TT helmet while you are at it. He looks a little funny on that bike without one, imho. 

I wish I could get my wife into racing.


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## FutureRacingChick (Oct 18, 2007)

he was just getting started or just finishing (not sure which) on the cycling leg of the triathalon in that pic, would be why he wasn't clipped in all the way.


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## newbie13 (Feb 13, 2007)

wow, I just read a lot of the thread for some reason, and I want my 5minutes back! this thread is retarded! like others have said "where's D. Phil"


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## rogerstg (Aug 1, 2007)

newbie13 said:


> wow, I just read a lot of the thread for some reason, and I want my 5minutes back! this thread is retarded! like others have said "where's D. Phil"


Congratulations - you win the award for the least intelligent, most vapid post in this thread. :mad2:


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## richsto (May 4, 2007)

As a husband and a father, I just don't understand why a significant other wouldn't be a least somewhat supportive. Sure he may not believe you could actually compete at a high level or maybe he really doesn't have the $$$ to buy you a really spendy bike but he should be at least be excited to help you pursue your goals. Does he offer you any advice on how you might improve? Has he offered to "chip-in" on a bike or provided some ideas on how you might obtain one?

I didn't even own a road bike when I bought my wife one. She'd been wanting to get into it for nearly a year so I finally saved enough money and broke the bank for a Felt birthday present. She was thrilled and has really gotten into it which has been my greatest joy this year! Sure I ended up getting a bike as well so I could keep up (it's really more addictive than I ever thought possible), but the best part of the whole experience has been seeing her enjoy it so much. 

Clearly, I'm not qualified to offer relationship advice so I won't. Just set your financial goals to enable you to purchase a bike. In the meantime work the engine HARD with the bike you have. When it comes time for the new bike, you'll be a rocket!!!


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## Damon64 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm still trying to figure out why your boyfriend has to buy your bike for you. Why don't you get it yourself? You'd appreciate it more and you wouldn't be relying on him for things.

I believe every story has two sides, and I don't think your boyfriend has been given a fair shake here. Maybe he truly knows that you talk a big story and don't follow through. We don't know...let him read these posts and comment. I'd like to hear what he has to say. How can you claim to want to race when you don't even know how to ride?

There are so many things wrong here...


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## newbie13 (Feb 13, 2007)

rogerstg said:


> Congratulations - you win the award for the least intelligent, most vapid post in this thread. :mad2:



well second, now that you posted.


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## uzziefly (Jul 15, 2006)

gnarSKYLER said:


> I loved Cory's reply so much, I had to put it as my signature.
> 
> But, back to your point, I'm only a 17 year old, but I would never think of treating a girl the way you're being treated. If my parents ever found out I was treating a girl the way you're being treated, my dad would personally whip the crap out of me, then my mom would come in and beat me. No joke.
> 
> Maybe you should tell his mommy. I'm sure she'd stick up for you. If she has half a heart.


Glad I never treated a chica bad!!!


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## sonex305 (Jun 17, 2007)




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## MCF (Oct 12, 2006)

*Sorry, but I couldn't help it....*



FutureRacingChick said:


> he was just getting started or just finishing (not sure which) on the cycling leg of the triathalon in that pic, would be why he wasn't clipped in all the way.


In the last two weeks, have you spent more time riding or typing? I think that is a very good indication of your bicycling future.....good luck, you need it!


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## Guest (Nov 4, 2007)

Most replies for a thread in Beginner's Corner ever?

/sorry didn't see this. he he http://forums.roadbikereview.com/showthread.php?t=111891


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## walleyeangler (Nov 4, 2005)

I think it's great you want to race. I hope it's for the fun of it and the thrill and the exercise. I know lots of couples who ride together. My fiance and I are both 56. I got into it in 2005 to lose weight. She got into it in 2006. We ride a lot. I have 8800 for the year so far, she had 4000 before she had to quit for foot surgery for a problem that was slowing her down. I'm probably going to see a lot of her back next year and I don't care. We are healthy and happy and getting married. She told me that she would never tell me not to by a bike or a boat. I said the only thing I could after that - "Marry me." We are house hunting. It has to be big. We have 10 bikes of all kinds, road, hybrid and mountain between us.


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## California L33 (Jan 20, 2006)

walleyeangler said:


> She told me that she would never tell me not to by a bike or a boat.


She must be cloned! 

Call me in 18 years when the first batch is ready.


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## gnarSKYLER (Aug 23, 2007)

Why are you resurrecting this post? I though we all agreed to let these simmer down?


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## walleyeangler (Nov 4, 2005)

I missed that vote.


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## Unicorn (Dec 7, 2007)

bahueh said:


> but I have yet to meet any amateur triathlete who can be truly competitive at RR's...they hang in the pack, but are typically dropped in climbs, pack fodder at best in sprints, and aren't used to pushing their limits in TT's as they typically just try to "maintain" in tri's...
> 
> 
> you should go have fun, absolutely!!...but with another BF. :thumbsup:


Was'nt Lance Armstrong once an amateur triathlete


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

Unicorn said:


> Was'nt Lance Armstrong once an amateur triathlete


No, he was a professional triathlete. Then he was groomed for about 4 years before going over to Europe. Then his first European race he finished dead last.


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## Unicorn (Dec 7, 2007)

I guess we all have to start some where


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## 99trek5200 (Jan 26, 2007)

*Herpes Thread*



gnarSKYLER said:


> Why are you resurrecting this post? I though we all agreed to let these simmer down?


This is the Herpes Thread. No one likes it, it won't kill you but it will just never go away.:mad2:


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## desmo13 (Jun 28, 2006)

put some knobbies on your bike and hit the dirt trails/roads

a couple reasons why:

you can do your own thing, not his thing.
cheaper than getting a new bike.
you will crush him someday on climbing

and then there is the whole mountainbike vs. road thing we can get into.


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## Guest (Dec 31, 2007)

desmo13 said:


> put some knobbies on your bike and hit the dirt trails/roads
> 
> a couple reasons why:
> 
> ...


Like Allan Quatermain this thread just will not die. :mad2: 

/great work desmo13.


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

*BEETS!!!*

//I bet she gave up already


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## desmo13 (Jun 28, 2006)

Bocephus Jones II said:


> *BEETS!!!*
> 
> //I bet she gave up already


been two weeks, I bet her BF read this thread and now she is stuffed in a garbage bag in the trunk of some car.


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## real stonie (Mar 30, 2006)

Seek revenge on your boyfriend by training like hell, racing like hell then get some implants and become queen of the podium girl forum!!!!! Keep your chin up, your wheels down and go for the mother freaking gusto!


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## Damon64 (Sep 24, 2005)

desmo13 said:


> been two weeks, I bet her BF read this thread and now she is stuffed in a garbage bag in the trunk of some car.


We can all dream...

She was like a Slinky, not good for anything but would still bring a smile to your face when you see them get shoved down the stairs.


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