# "Encounter" with a pedestrian tonight



## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

I'm still shaken over this one.

My standard commute, Rockaway's, Queens, NYC. I've been doing this ride off/on for 15 years or so. The city has made it "theoretically" better/safer by closing down a lane and making it a marked bike lane which changes to on-street markings - arrows, and signage indicating a shared roadway.

That seemingly doesn't matter to the ped's.

I'm riding on the shoulder, on top of the markings, when a women helping her 2 kids across the street, mid block so no cross walk, awaits a passing car, looks right at me and sends the kids across, then proceeds to stand put right in my path. I scream out and hit the brakes, stopping maybe a foot from her, screaming at her all the while. She then proceeds to scream back at me in a foreign language (I obviously scared the S _ _ T out of her as well) and turns to walk away (on my right side) and proceeds to smack me hard on the back.side of my head, right under the helmet. 

WTF !, I think, SHE JUST ASSAULTED ME, The stupid B _ _ _ H ! just hit me !. She proceeds to walk away, screaming at me all the while, I'm screaming back. I dismount and park my bike on the sidewalk against a fence and reach for her arm as she starts to head up the block, when she again smacks me, only this time misses my face, hitting my helmet, which knocks my sunglasses off my face and suddenly I am in a rage, a total out of control pissed off rage at this lady and smack her right back across the side of her head. Hard. Rocks her back a bit. 

Oh Boy, I think, this is turning really ugly, really fast and is potential cop time. 

As we stand there screaming at each other - she's suddenly discovered she can speak English and is screaming she's calling 911 and I'm screaming "You HIT me you stupid....." etc... and telling YES, Call 911, YOU HIT ME FIRST !. Sounding like a kid in a playground at this point.

A local older guy has witnessed all this and as I stand by my bike, watching this nut job lady (not me, but I'm feeling like one at this point), he tells me that I might want to get out of there. I then notice that a number of young males, having witnessed my hitting back, but probably not her having hit me first (and 2nd) are screaming at me (Why you hit that lady, why yo hit that lady ! and agree that this is about to get really, really ugly,

I hop on the bike, make the first right and hit the boardwalk, riding it east for the remaining 6 miles, all the while watching for the cop car to come get me. Doesn't happen and I make it home without any more adventures.

Jeez.....

Should I have called 911 ?. Maybe. That would have involved following her to her house/apartment, with potentially a hostile crowd forming. Good idea then ?, maybe not. Should I have awaited the police ?, again, probably, as I was in the right. The problem was the crowd of kids that saw me hit back and not get hit first, so now it's a He Said/She Said, with witnesses that I did indeed hit her, and only a maybe that this older guy would be around to tell the cops that I was struck first and that he saw it was self defense of a sort. So maybe leaving was the right choice of a bunch of bad choices... Wanted to puke after though...

Thanks for reading


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## m_s (Nov 20, 2007)

Why _did_ you hit her?


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

m_s said:


> Why _did_ you hit her?


My post sort of explains the instantaneous reaction, but it's a valid question that I've been asking myself for the last 6 hrs. Please understand that I feel terrible and realize my actions were wrong and could have well landed me in Rikers Island (the NYC detention center) for the evening.

That said, I recall that I was amazed and totally pissed off that she could hit me, think nothing of it and walk away. I think she had no clue that she had just placed her kids and herself in mortal danger by not realizing that a 230 lbs bicyclist moving at 16 mph might well kill her, had I hit her dead on. Clueless. That fed some of my anger. Then to hit me and walk away. 

At that point, adrenaline, anger and the emotion of a very near miss takes over and rational thought can be hard to come by. Fueled subsequently by another blow to the head and it's goodbye rational thought and in truth, part of the act of striking back was self defense, as I DID NOT want this person hitting me again. Note also that this is all in the space of less then 30 seconds, so the rational thought to just leave was only starting to form. 

This is not an incident where I'm proud to say that I stood up for my rights as a cyclist and "showed her not to F _ _ K with people". Furthest thing from my mind. 

I also am now realizing that sometimes you just encounter somebody that's maybe got her own anger management issues. As I might as well.

My reason for posting was mostly as there are occasionally some very wise folks out there who might have had a similar incident and just how do you handle this ?.

SB


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## Keski (Sep 25, 2004)

Gee's I would of just ridden around her and buzzed her.


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## Creakyknees (Sep 21, 2003)

i thought commuting by bike was supposed to help you relax.


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## Ridgetop (Mar 1, 2005)

I once saw a girl knock a guy out in one punch. But she sucker punched him.

You shouldn't have starting yelling at her and should have just kept going one way or the other. But that's all hindsight at this point, so you might as well just think about how to avoid escalating a situation in the future and feel proud that you kicked that lady's butt (said in humorous sarcasm.


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## stover (Apr 24, 2010)

As much as that situation totally sucked. Turning around a riding away as fast as possible would have been the safest choice.


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## jcaddyer (Jun 11, 2010)

Situation was handled poorly by both parties. What caused you to react seemed like a sense of righteousness that ended with you punching a girl..... 

If folks looked at themselves with sober judgment we wouldn't have this.


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## SimonChik (Aug 3, 2010)

That's New York for you... I get frustrated all the time riding next to the belt by the bridge. People just walk and stop on the path, I've even seen people sitting next to the path with their legs extended onto the path! It's frustrating, sometimes you just have to bite your tongue. She was wrong for hitting you, maybe next time carry some pepper spray. It's not okay for a man to hit a woman and vice versa.


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

I don't really believe your story but I'll play. You hit a woman? Man, you must have been really mad to lose your honor by doing that. I bet if you just said went around her waved, and said hello, your day would of been a lot better.


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

You hit a woman that had 2 kids and no man with her.

Better yet she is walking away from you.

Epic fail.


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## bignose (Sep 15, 2005)

ASULTED? Quick call the lawyers!!

Seriously, she slapped you. Get over it tough guy. Ride away next time.


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## RagbraiNewB (May 21, 2008)

The initial misunderstanding of what a bicycle is led to the problem. The woman sees a guy on a bike and thinks to herself: "bicycles move at about 5 mph, have coaster brakes, and I can easily get the kids across and be out of the way before he gets here." Seconds later she comes to find out that bicycles go closer to 20mph, and the people riding them are focused on getting where they are going, and she's effectively standing in the middle of a highway. Cue the rider screaming at her to heighten what was already probably a huge adrenaline rush when she was almost decked, and she literally almost had to do something with all that energy, which she opted to use hitting the cyclist. Cyclist, dealing with his own massive adrenaline surge from thinking he was about to have a wreck, strikes back, etc etc. 

I am fine giving a no harm no foul, since, no one in fact was harmed. However, the remedy I am convinced, is that you have to commute a bit slower, simply because of the stupidity of pedestrians like her. Defensive driving, basically. Even if she's in the wrong place, you're on a bike and must neither hit her, nor scream at her.


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## mitmoned (Apr 7, 2008)

I'm horribly confused by this. It doesn't matter how fast I'm traveling or where I need to go, if someone is stopped in front of me, I stop and wait for them or ask to get by politely. Period.

Could you have slowed down and politely notified her of your intent to pass? Would that have been so hard? Basically, it'd be the same type of situation as a cyclists riding slowly on the road having a car come to a screeching halt behind them then laying on the horn. If a car did that to me, I'd turn around and smack it's hood. And like the OP, if the motorist had let their frustrations get the better of them and run me over, they'd deserve jail time.

I know it's New York, but can't people be decent and have a little patience?


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## bikerjulio (Jan 19, 2010)

*let the stoning commence*


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## kritiman (Jul 31, 2006)

RagbraiNewB said:


> The initial misunderstanding of what a bicycle is led to the problem. The woman sees a guy on a bike and thinks to herself: "bicycles move at about 5 mph, have coaster brakes, and I can easily get the kids across and be out of the way before he gets here." Seconds later she comes to find out that bicycles go closer to 20mph, and the people riding them are focused on getting where they are going, and she's effectively standing in the middle of a highway. .


Yes, we're not exactly blameless. Probably 98% of city cyclists in my town don't go over 10mph. And our small profile means it's even harder to judge speed, either for a pedestrian or a motorist.

Easy solution: don't ride fast in the city. You'll have more time to react. Save it for the open road.


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## Oxtox (Aug 16, 2006)

I ride like I drive...

I assume every person out there is going to do the most dangerous possible thing at the worst possible time.

just assume everyone is incapable of acting rationally and be ready to counter their moves.


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

Drivers Education 101: Pedestrians always have the right of way. 

Man Law 276593: Don't hit a lady, even if she hits you.

You are from NY however, so I guess you guys are different over there.


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## FrontRanger (May 19, 2004)

Seems most of you who think he is wrong to hit her think it is perfectly acceptable for her to strike him. Women don't get a free pass to hit guys. 


Never hit a woman? What would you do if you were riding with your wife or child and this pedestrian struck them instead?


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## RagbraiNewB (May 21, 2008)

No, it's not OK for her to hit him, but he took a situation where someone else did something dumb, and by not slowing down immediately upon seeing her in his path, caused it to escalate into a confrontation. Once you're screaming in someone's face, rational responses become very unlikely.


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

You are considered a vehicle. PEDESTRIANS ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. I don't think her actions were right. He should have never hit him. I'm a bit old fashioned and don't believe in hitting women unless you really feel you are in physical danger.


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## krisdrum (Oct 29, 2007)

I'm a NYer as well, but don't want to be lumped in with the OP, so stop generalizing about people from certain areas of the country or world, SilentAssassin. 

The OP took a bad situation and escalated it. Doesn't matter the gender of the attacker. The smart thing to do would have been to flip her off and move on, like most of us do everyday. Unless he felt his life was imminently threatened or severe bodily harm had been done, just move along. I have no doubt the braking incident got the bloodflowing. Was there no room to go around her? I'm a bit perplexed by why you came to a stop in the first place. Sounds like you were on open road with a painted bike lane. Unless the woman's movements were incredibly sudden, I would have already been edging over a bit into the car lane and looking for exit strategies if she decided to just stand there or otherwise impede me. Defensive driving 101, always look for an out. Stopping would have been a last ditch effort in my mind. The rest of the interaction is just a lack of communication, knowledge and respect for one another. Pure BS. She was in the wrong with laying hands on you. You made the situation worse by confronting and laying hands on her. If the cops had shown up after that, she would have had just as valid a claim of assualt as you would and you'd both at the very least be issued a ticket or summons.


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## Love Commander (Aug 20, 2009)

Stop. Let her pass safely. "You're a ****ing moron, lady." spoken calmly and confidently. Ignore any comeback because, hey, it's coming from a ****ing moron so who cares? Go home. Crack open a beer. Easy.

Bonus points if you give her the bird while popping a wheelie.


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## krisdrum (Oct 29, 2007)

SilentAssassin said:


> You are considered a vehicle. PEDESTRIANS ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. I don't think her actions were right. He should have never hit him. I'm a bit old fashioned and don't believe in hitting women unless you really feel you are in physical danger.


Not entirely sure on the "right of way" thing. They need to be in a crosswalk is my understanding, or else it is J walking, a ticket-able offense. There are very few places where that is NOT the case, a few towns in eastern Long Island and Mass that I am aware of on the east coast, where if a ped steps off the curb, you need to stop.


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## FatTireFred (Jan 31, 2005)

MB1 said:


> You hit a woman that had 2 kids and no man with her.
> 
> Better yet she is walking away from you.
> 
> Epic fail.




ouch. I guess the cops will be coming... for his man card


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## Opus51569 (Jul 21, 2009)

Steve B. said:


> She proceeds to walk away, screaming at me all the while, I'm screaming back. I dismount and park my bike on the sidewalk against a fence *and reach for her arm as she starts to head up the block*, when she again smacks me, only this time misses my face, hitting my helmet, which knocks my sunglasses off my face and suddenly I am in a rage, a total out of control pissed off rage at this lady and smack her right back across the side of her head. Hard. Rocks her back a bit.


In case you're wondering...there's where the wheels came off the wagon... 

Considering most of the bystanders only saw you as the aggressor, you're lucky you're not in jail.


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

To clarify some points.

1) Pedestrians do not have the right of way in a city with marked and controlled crosswalks. In this instance she was in between crosswalks. The relevant NY and NYC law states: 

§1152. Crossing at other than crosswalks.

(a) Every pedestrian crossing a roadway at any point other than within a marked crosswalk or within an unmarked crosswalk at an intersection shall yield the right of way to all vehicles upon the roadway.

Thus she was in the wrong (not that it matters much as she was totally un-aware of the law in this situation) and this scenario is the primary reason cops will often not site a motorist or cyclist for hitting a pedestrian in the street. As a cyclist, the letter of the law doesn't really matter as we still need to be aware that pedestrians and motorists are not following the law and will indeed do all kinds of things that get us into trouble. That's my thought process when I commute. My philosophy has always been it's not a fast training ride. I need to get home safely. Going easy makes the ride more pleasurable in any event and I ride with that in mind

2) To clarify. I see the women and her kids standing on the sidewalk, positioned to "maybe" cross the street. I'm immediately aware of a possible problem if she starts across and Yell out - "Yo !" or something to that effect to make her aware of my approach My hands are already on the brakes and I'm already slowing, as this is a busy section, just past a business district, so I'm alert to begin with.

The women looks right at me and starts across. From the time of my realizing she was crossing her kids, then stopping to stand in the middle of the bike lane, then my slamming the brakes and skidding to a stop, all of a foot from her, is maybe 1/4 of the time that it took to read this. No time to think "Hey I should slow down". No time for anything, just a bad luck moment that every cyclist has happen, in an instant. I had 4 choices here, swerve further into the lane and hit the kids. Stay put and hit the women, slide into first ? Or skid to a stop. Note that there are no cars parked on this side of the road. So for everyone who states "I should have stopped and let her pass", or "Slow down", well, neither would have mattered. I could have been doing 5 mph, or 25 and she might still have stepped right in front of me. One of the problems with his particular 1/3 of a mile section, is the fact that there are buses and cars that want to pass you, while they are forgetting that I'm riding on a street designated as a shared roadway. Thus the natural inclination thru here is to go faster, to get to the next turn where things ease up a bit. Obviously that sets the cyclist up for a no win situation when a pedestrian does something dumb.

FWIW, I was also perfectly fine moving on and then got slammed in the head sideways, which totally changes the situation. 

3) I hit her BACK. I had been struck twice. The first time she hit me was a hard fist to the side of the head, just below the helmet. Knocked my head back, she hit me that hard. As she walked away, cursing at me, I wanted her to stop so I could call the police, when she struck me the 2nd time. I responded by striking back. This is known as SELF DEFENSE, honor be damned. Suppose she pulls a knife on me ?, am I not supposed to defend myself just because she's a women ?. That's total bull-S _ _ T ! and for for those that think that's going to be the case, wait till it happens to you. 

4) A few folks have commented that because this happened in New York City, you seemingly assume this must be a normal, everyday occurrence and that because some of us live here, our morals and ethics are, what ?, not up to some sort of standard the rest of the country/world follows ?. People are decent here, they have to be in order to get along as well as we do, despite what you might read/see in the media. One problem though is there are 14 million of us in the NYC metro area, with EVERY nationality from every country on the planet living here. That alone generates a certain lack of understanding and respect for folks you perceive might be of a different culture. That happened to me yesterday, as I'm certain that all this women saw was an older white guy yelling at her, that I had almost killed her and that she had done something very stupid. I do understand her reaction but also understand that she was totally in the wrong and created the situation and that I aggravated it with my response. 

Lesson learned.

FWIW, I agree with Krisdrum's post. Nailed it and a thanks


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

The fact that the pedestrian was a lady rather than a big intimidating man sure could of made a lot of difference in the way the OP responded. 

Pedestrian always having the right of way doesn't apply everywhere but it is a good general rule to follow. You don't run over pedestrians just because they don't have the right away. And if a traffic investigator finds you had reasonable time to spot the jaywalker and stop in time if you had been paying attention, you could be in serious trouble regardless of what state you are in.


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## Opus51569 (Jul 21, 2009)

My point is that up to the moment she hit you (the first time) you were morally (if not legally) in the "right". She was wrong. She was the aggressor.

The moment you decided to get off your bike and pursue the matter further, you lost any sense of righteousness you may have had. Trying to detain her was a mistake. If you wanted to call the cops, you should have called them, and followed her at a safe distance until they arrived.  

But it's easy to armchair quarterback and play the woulda/coulda/shoulda game. I'm not a police officer or a lawyer, but I've watched enough episode of COPS to know that a woman may go to jail for hitting a man if she leaves a visible mark. A man goes to jail for hitting a woman...period. Unfair? Double-standard? Perhaps. But that's life in the big city. JMHO


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## buck-50 (Sep 20, 2005)

You f'd up. period.

I mean, at every decision tree, you made the wrong choice. 

You coulda slowed down. Nope. 

You coulda just riden on when she whacked you the first time. Nope. 

Instead, you stopped, giving her the opportunity to hit you again. Brilliant.

And then, you hit her. W.T.F. were you thinking?

If you had just slowed down or stopped, there'd be no story.

Do you have to slow down? maybe not. Maybe you had the right of way and she was totally, 100% in the wrong. You still slow down or stop. Because it's polite. 

Doing the right thing isn't always following the letter of the law and treating everything else on the road like an adversary to be conquered or dominated. 

You slow down or stop to give the woman with a couple kids who's trying to cross the street a break. Might be the first break she's gotten all day. Next thing you know, she sees cyclists as the good guys. 

You are lucky someone didn't run your @$$ down.


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

The op is ok and wasn't injured. That's the important thing. She was dead wrong for hitting your first. Could have been much worse. The husband could of saw you hit her, then all hell would of broke loose.

Important thing is you live to ride another day.


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

"My point is that up to the moment she hit you (the first time) you were morally (if not legally) in the "right". She was wrong. She was the aggressor."

Agreed


"The moment you decided to get off your bike and pursue the matter further, you lost any sense of righteousness you may have had. Trying to detain her was a mistake. If you wanted to call the cops, you should have called them, and followed her at a safe distance until they arrived."


Agreed

Although getting off the bike to pursue her to call the police, which was my intention, was not wrong. Trying to detain her was. But as these things often develop, it's never that easy in the emotion and heat of the moment and what resulted turned into a "I got away lucky" moment.


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## Scott B (Dec 1, 2004)

Don't whack the idiots even if they whack you. Simple as that. I might have called the cops after she whacked you and before you whacked her if I was in your shoes. I probably would have just ridden away. Got to stay calm when other people fail to. It's hard.

I understand thing getting out of hand and we all make less then perfect choices at times. I'd chalk this up to a bad experience all around and feel lucky that nothing worse came of it. My hopes for no bad consequences out of this. Keep riding, stay alert and don't hit the peds - they apparently hit back...


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## o0adam0o (Jul 24, 2010)

Self defense? lol You walked back towards her to hit her, which is plain revenge. You shouldnt hit a woman. I can see if she was continuously hitting you and you hit her back out of rage. But she walked away.. you should have rode off.

Your actions were wrong and are not justified in my book. You are lucky nothing worse happened... a mob could of easily killed you. A 4yr old was hit by a car a few mins from my house. Parents were angry and a mob gathered and beat the guy to death. The 4yr old only had bumps and scrapes. 

Anyways, it takes guts to share this story. I just hope you learned something from it all. Im glad both of you are ok.


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## jcaddyer (Jun 11, 2010)

"3) I hit her BACK. I had been struck twice. The first time she hit me was a hard fist to the side of the head, just below the helmet. Knocked my head back, she hit me that hard. As she walked away, cursing at me, I wanted her to stop so I could call the police, when she struck me the 2nd time. I responded by striking back. This is known as SELF DEFENSE, honor be damned. Suppose she pulls a knife on me ?, am I not supposed to defend myself just because she's a women ?. That's total bull-S _ _ T ! and for for those that think that's going to be the case, wait till it happens to you. "

So let me get this straight. You hit the woman with her kids because you were afraid for your life? Would you of punched one of the children in the face if they tried to hit you? I got the idea that you originally felt remorse about the way you handled the situation but now you are justifying it. How do you think the kids felt seeing their mother getting punched?


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

"You walked back towards her to hit her, which is plain revenge."

No, read the posts. I walked to her to stop her from walking away so I could call the police. I had no thought of any revenge, I just wasn't letting her go. I didn't want to follow her all the way to wherever she lived, as that meant leaving my bike out of sight.. AFTER she struck again is when I struck back. 

" You shouldnt hit a woman" 

Suppose she had pulled a knife ?. Does the fact that she's a female and is repeatedly hitting me automatically mean I stand there and get pounded ?. 

"I can see if she was continuously hitting you and you hit her back out of rage."

"you should have rode off."

Yup. 

"Your actions were wrong and are not justified in my book

Which is something I realized immediately and is why I was so upset by my actions. Total loss of rational control and that's what had me worried. 

"Anyways, it takes guts to share this story. I just hope you learned something from it all. Im glad both of you are ok."

One of my motivations for sharing this painful experience was to find out if others had ever been in the same situation. I can surmise that from all the posts, nobody has ever had any kind of physical confrontation with either a pedestrian or motorist. Consider yourself lucky.

My reason for telling of this encounter was to share one thing I discovered which is that for all the countless times I've had near misses, cars or people, and had the rare shouting match, the escalation to a physical assault changes everything and for all the times you practice "let it go", the act of being physically assaulted puts that way on the back burner. Lesson certainly learned here.

Thanks for reading.


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## SilentAssassin (Jul 29, 2010)

Morale of the story:

Don't scream at a woman with her kids. Don't punch a woman in the back, front, side, etc. Just don't hit a woman!

I think it's funny that you screamed at her. That's an NY thing, because in Cali, you have a near miss, 99% of the time, all is well, no harm no foul, and both will go on with their lives.


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## kykr13 (Apr 12, 2008)

buck-50 said:


> If you had just slowed down or stopped, there'd be no story.


Or at least not much of one. Sounds like you knew you were coming up to an area where this stuff tends to happen, so slowing down just might be a good idea here... Most people think all bikes go 8-10mph, so maybe that's a good idea here. Actually, taking a different route might be a good idea for awhile... 

I hate to pile on, but it doesn't matter if you hit her _back_ and she _didn't_ have a knife.


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## Slowbill (Jun 3, 2010)

Self-Defense? Absolutely not.

You have the right to use force against another individual if you have a *reasonable fear* that injury is about to be inflicted upon you.

"Reasonableness" is the issue here and that resonableness is typically determined by a jury of ones peers. If you are wondering who your peers are, next time you are in line at the grocery store look in front of you and in back. There they are.

Case law is against you on this one. Many of your actions have been committed by others and found to be unreasonable:

1) After hitting you she walked away. You persued and became the aggressor. No reasonable person pursues what they fear.

2) Your physical size (230 lbs) would make it problematic for you to convince your peers that you had a reasonable fear of injury. Serious disparity of force issue there. How big was she? Incidentally, many petite women have been cleared by the law after shooting men your size who attacked them with nothing but bare hands. Jury thought it seemed reasonable. 

3) You had the ability to escape. You had a bike, she was on foot. No way she is leaving the kids to chase after you.

It would seem the only smart thing you did was flee the scene of the crime.


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

Slowbill said:


> Self-Defense? Absolutely not.
> 
> You have the right to use force against another individual if you have a *reasonable fear* that injury is about to be inflicted upon you.
> 
> ...


Very good points and a thanks for the very logical look at this.

Steve B.


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## SimonChik (Aug 3, 2010)

Why is everyone bashing the OP? I've been hit by women before mainly ex girlfriends. Anyhow, Sometimes that sh*t hurts. I feel for the OP because was hit once, and then again. Maybe the second hit just hit the spot for the OP and triggered him to hit back. What if it was a man and his 2 kids? Would this have been acceptable for the OP? Probably. In front of the kids or not, that person deserved it. So is everyone here with kids allowed to walk around with them going around attacking people? NO... Getting physical is always wrong, but I'm just siding w/ the OP because he was ticked off. For me it really agrevates me when people park in a bike lane, cut in front of me to stop in the bike lane, stand around on the bike lane, letting their children run around chasing each other on a bike lane. I wouldn't bike on a side walk, and I wouldn't F around on a bike lane or in the street.


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## hotshot (Apr 18, 2008)

Funny I just watch a clip on TOSH.O and it shows some guy ridding his bicycle in a bike lane going the wrong way, some guy walks right out of the cars and and he nails him hard. They both go down. Guy on bike says are you ok? Guy from in between the cars, says you are going the wrong way? Guy on bicycle says..you didnt use the cross walk? 
Both wrong....

I learned a long time ago..you never stop...just nail anything in the lane and hope for the best...


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## Steve B. (Jun 26, 2004)

SimonChik said:


> Why is everyone bashing the OP?


Because all they know about the incident is what I've typed. Nobody here knows me personally and the only way they can judge a person is by what they read. 

What they read is somewhat shocking to all who commute by bike, indeed it's hard for anyone to understand the many emotions and feeling a person goes thru while it's happening. I was shocked by it, still am. Writing about it is a very poor medium for relating all that occurred and how I felt and went thru and I'm certainly no Pulitzer author. Thus people judge on what they read and that's to be expected and why I've read thru every post and replied where appropriate to clarify if possible and as I saw fit. As example of this, many wrote about the womens children and were concerned about them. I don't think they actually witnessed any of this, as they were mostly across the street, running to karate school and were not physically present. Guessing here though... and not actually concerned about it as at a level outside of my own response, the mother has to deal with her own actions and how she explains that to her kids. I've no good thoughts about that.

One curious side note, is I have shared this account with maybe 6 other people outside of this forum. 2 are fellow cyclists, all live locally, one's my wife, who I thought would be totally pissed off at me for getting myself into such a predicament, but actually understood completely (she's been in a situation that almost escalated as mine did, and fully understands the emotions involved). The others were pretty much in agreement with "some" of my actions, but all were of the opinion that I was lucky this didn't turn any uglier then it had. Like I stated, I was very close to spending a night at Rikers Island and that's an eye opener, especially for a older Anglo guy like myself who's only ever had a speeding ticket. I really should have known better and thanks to ALL the responses as they really do help me figure this out.

Pretty much done with this though.


SB


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## daidaidai (Dec 17, 2008)

Aai yai yai, not a nice situation. I'm with Oxtox. Of course it took a while to reach this philosophy, many years of thrills and spills, and arguments and shouting matches etc etc with morons that should have known better. One day lying on my back in the middle of the road after being collected by an oncoming truck who decided to turn right in front of me, I worked out that being in the right doesn't really mean much, that all the "rights" in the world don't mean a pinch once your dead, or maimed. 
Then there is so much energy and effort involved in arguing with this other person who's mind you will NEVER change. I just get tired thinking about it. Now I just expect people to do exactly what they shouldn't. Hey look, up ahead is a woman with two kids seeking to cross the road , whats the bet she will do it in front of me? Yep right again! Then follow krisdrum's advice "flip her off and move on" As you have learn t, its just not worth it. Oh, and also maybe it might be a good idea not to use that route for a week or two.


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## BianchiJoe (Jul 22, 2005)

SilentAssassin said:


> in Cali, you have a near miss, 99% of the time, all is well, no harm no foul, and both will go on with their lives.


You're kidding, right?


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## Slim Again Soon (Oct 25, 2005)

Crazy!

I can't believe she whacked you ... and I can't believe you grabbed her arm.

The hero of this story is the onlooker ... he saved you, her and the NYPD a lot of grief.

Live and learn.


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## HillBillies (May 16, 2007)

Mate - ask yourself this question - "What could I have done to make this situation better?" From the moment you saw her to when you departed.
Be brutally honest - self judgement is something many people aren't good at and it generally holds them back.

The fact remains that you can only control YOUR own actions and behaviours. Did YOU do the best you could do to prevent this situation?

I have my opinion - but only yours really counts in making you a better person.

Here endeth the sermon!


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