# a new city bike. no, wait, country bike... um, commuter.



## buck-50 (Sep 20, 2005)

Introducing the Llednevir (that's welsh for "three grand for a commuter is absurd")

I (Brant) believe that 100% of people today are riding the wrong bike. Even if you've got a Llednevir all ready, I (Brant) have changed my mind about what an ideal bike is. So, I (Brant) have created this new bike. 










The first thing you might notice about the Llednevir is it's amazing paint job. While it looks like a 1991 trek 850 that I rescued from a dumpster, it's actually a really fancy paint job that just looks like a cheap, chipped up factory job. Why, just leaning the Llednevir against a rusty, jagged signpost will only serve to increase the beausage of this 'mazing 'aint job. 

The next thing you'll notice about the Llednevir is the tires. 2" hutchinson slicks on 26" rims, because 26" is the new 650B. You want wide and comfortable and fast? Well, look no further. Unless you were really serious about the fast part. 

Because I (brant) now believe that the only proper way to get up a hill is to run along side your bike (see 'lednevir 'eader, 'ssue '7) this bike is geared for a proper hill run. Sporting 50/38 chainrings in the front and a 12-24 seven-speed rear casette, this bike won't be climbing any mountains soon. But, neither should you. I (Brant) have decreed it to be so. Plus, that gearing allowed me to use some old Nuovo Record derailleurs I had sitting in my workshop.

The controls of the bike are old Dia Compe Aero Compe brake levers, which are old and therefore good, and NOS seven speed sun-tour thumb shifters mounted on On-One Midge bars. So far, I (Brant) have really enjoyed riding this 'ombination on 'ingletrack and on the 'oad.

Finally, you'll notice the racks. rather than sourcing these racks from Nitto, I (brant) decided to save about $250 and get them from nashbar. The front rack was nine bucks.

The Bags for this bike will be beautiful. The front bag is a modified boyscout yucca pack. it is superior to all modern front bags because it is: 1. canvas. and 2. Old.

There is no poetry about this bike yet, but I believe there may be some slash/fic on the ibob site.


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

LOL.

I (Brian) almost pissed myself reading this. Thats pretty funny. Nice picks of the bike though. I (Brian again) think it looks nice.


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

buck-50 said:


> Introducing the Llednevir (that's welsh for "three grand for a commuter is absurd")...


Oooo! Can I be your first groupie?! I promise to obey your every commandment unquestioningly and to spit nails at anyone who disagrees with you!

- FBB

PS: I really like the looks of that bike...


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

*I agree with that.*



buck-50 said:


> (that's welsh for "three grand for a commuter is absurd")


We would never commute on a bike that costs less than $4K.


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

MB1 said:


> We would never commute on a bike that costs less than $4K.


You're in luck!! I've got a garage full of bikes that I would be willing to part with for $4K/each. Can you fit on a 68cm frame?

- FBB


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

*No but Miss M could likely fit under one.*



fbagatelleblack said:


> ....Can you fit on a 68cm frame?
> 
> - FBB


BTW how about 4 cents each.


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

fbagatelleblack said:


> Can you fit on a 68cm frame?
> 
> - FBB


Do you have a 70, I like to have my nuts crammed up really good when I'm stopped at a stop light, and the bars above my head. That is how everyone rode before things got out of hand.


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

brianmcg said:


> Do you have a 70, I like to have my nuts crammed up really good when I'm stopped at a stop light, and the bars above my head. That is how everyone rode before things got out of hand.


Yer just jealous because you don't have a 36" inseam and a 37" sleeve. That's okay; I'm told that you little folk can lead happy, productive lives even though you need everything miniaturized.

- FBB


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

MB1 said:


> BTW how about 4 cents each.


I am deeply hurt. The bikes will now cost you $5K/ea. Any more smart-allecky remarks and I'll bump them up to $6K.

- FBB


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## buck-50 (Sep 20, 2005)

*Llednevir Fashion Update*

*When I was a kid, everything was better.*

Modeled by my (Brant) father, here are the clothes I (brant) think are the only appropriate clothes for cycling. Ever. 










Tight knee-breeches worn with long socks. It's a combination that is both old (and thus good) and new (which is usually bad, but since we're resurrecting it, it's good too). Notice the long pockets on the wool vest- you could carry a thanksgiving turkey in those things. And why shouldn't you? Riding your bike is about bagmatching and carrying stuff, not efficiency. I (brant) rarely leave the house without at least a canvas rain coat, a back-up rain coat for when my first canvas raincoat soaks through, 4 sandwiches, an entire bunch of bananas and a claw hammer. I don't bring water, as I (brant) think that we drink too much water. (see Llednevir Reader 38)

Muzzle Loading Smoothbore Flintlock. Even more useful on your S24O than a hatchet, plus it weighs over 10 pounds and looks old, which is good. Use it to shoot squirrels, rabbits, or elk. Why bring heavy and boring dried food when you can simply bring a big gun? 

We've already got Nitto working on a special rack for carrying the Thanagar, as we've taken to calling the Muzzle Loading Smoothbore Flintlock.


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

buck-50 said:


> *When I was a kid, everything was better.*
> 
> Modeled by my (Brant) father, here are the clothes I (brant) think are the only appropriate clothes for cycling. Ever.
> 
> ...



I hear and obey, master. - FBB


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## bigbadwimp (Dec 12, 2005)

This thread does not suck.


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## brianmcg (Oct 12, 2002)

Oh my god, stop it. I'm pissing myself and I can't breath. LOL. STOP I TELL YOU...


My abs are killing my and I blew milk out of my nose, and I haven't drank milk in two days.


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## Robbie59 (Apr 12, 2006)

Geepers! It's been a looong time since I saw "yucca pack" used in a sentence.


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## cadence90 (Sep 12, 2004)

LOL. This is too funny.  :thumbsup: 
.
.
.Now, I have some socks just like yours so I'm thinking of buying a Llednevir just like yours. The thing is I already have shoes, for winter and summer. I have posted a picture of each and would like to know (really need to know) if you think these are too "modern" (or "moderne", I forget which) or if they will clash with the color or if all other Llednevir riders won't wave at me or if I will just be silently shunned like all heretics should be?


















Please give me your honest assessment, because if it's a no-go I'll promptly burn the Detto's and have Miucccia Prenda craft me a pair of buckskin boots, under license to Gino Dino diSignori. Luckily, Miucccia and G. Dino think those guys at Sidi, Carnac, Lust and Rocket7 et al are total clowns...using stuff like velcro, ratchet clamps and carbon fiber outsoles, for crying out loud.


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

cadence90 said:


> Please give me your honest assessment, because if it's a no-go I'll promptly burn the Detto's and have Miucccia Prenda craft me a pair of buckskin boots, under license to Gino Dino diSignori. Luckily, Miucccia and G. Dino think those guys at Sidi, Carnac, Lust and Rocket7 et al are total clowns...using stuff like velcro, ratchet clamps and carbon fiber outsoles, for crying out loud.


You DARE suggest alternative footwear not discovered by Brant?? HEATHEN!! BLASPHEMER!! ONLY BRANT MAY SUGGEST NEW CYCLING ACCESSORIES!! All others must merely smile, nod, and order said accessories from Lledbike.com.

For shame!

- FBB


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## cadence90 (Sep 12, 2004)

fbagatelleblack said:


> You DARE suggest alternative footwear not discovered by Brant?? HEATHEN!! BLASPHEMER!! ONLY BRANT MAY SUGGEST NEW CYCLING ACCESSORIES!! All others must merely smile, nod, and order said accessories from Lledbike.com.
> 
> For shame!
> 
> - FBB


I knew, I knew, I _knew_ I was not READY!  

For penance I shall walk from HellA to Llednevir HQ along the 5 freeway, in nothing but a hairshirt and some copies of Bicycling Magazine strapped to my feet. 3 times.

I will not knock at the door upon my arrival; such impertinence would be blasphemous.
I will simply place my offering of my old, "much older than the Pro", Brooks B-17 and a hand-carved tribute candle I made myself, in the shape of a Nitto lugged stem, therefore "stronger and more beautiful than whatever other tribute candle you might have", on the stoop.

May my forgiveness be Branted, even though such harsh penalties I know I shall suffer....


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## KWillets (Feb 28, 2006)

That's not a Trek, that's actually a "Kert", from back when they wrote things right-to-left.

It was traditional to mount a pencil sharpener on the bars.


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## buck-50 (Sep 20, 2005)

*Llednevir Footwear Update*

*I dream of Hobbits*

As many of you know from Llednevir Reader 36, I (brant) have been working on the perfect cycling shoe. I (brant) have been in negotiations with a small english cobbler's shoppe for many months.They'll be making us a shoe made entirely of steel wool and canvas. Steel is real, wool is real, so it follows that steel wool is the realest material of them all. 

With it's super flexible 'anvas sole and steel wool uppers, this shoe will have all the characteristics I(brant) find most important in cycling footwear, including quick soak-through and rust. 

I've (brant've) also been working on another shoe design. Some 'embers have complained that they can't mount the "cleats" for their "clipless pedals" to their 'didas Sambas or P.F. Flyers. For them, I (brant) introduce the Llednevir clog.










Stiff enough for even the most demanding racer, the Llednevir clog can accomodate any brand of cleat past (good) or present (bad). 

A steel wool sweater will be available by the 'olidays, in grades from itchy to skin removing. Our first 4 future runs of the shoe, the clog and the sweater have already sold due to rampant speculation by ibobbers who heard a rumor and just sent cash.


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## cadence90 (Sep 12, 2004)

buck-50 said:


> *I dream of Hobbits*


LOL! :thumbsup: 
A master at work!

Please update us on proper bar-tape materials, wrapping methodology, road vibration issues, etc; and also the proper hand signals for Llednevir riders who see each other on the road asap, please.

I'm a convert...sorry, I mean a trevnoc!.


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## KWillets (Feb 28, 2006)

It was typical for Kert riders, when they encountered each other on the road, to exchange wives, which were carried over the rear rack. Close friends would also give gifts of pencils or a lanolin and beeswax mixture which could be used either as a sexual lubricant or a chain lube (some riders claimed not to know the difference).


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

KWillets said:


> It was typical for Kert riders, when they encountered each other on the road, to exchange wives, which were carried over the rear rack. Close friends would also give gifts of pencils or a lanolin and beeswax mixture which could be used either as a sexual lubricant or a chain lube (some riders claimed not to know the difference).


Of course, Kerts would not acknowledge anyone else. When forced to talk to "non-Kerts," they were inevitably terse and unpleasant. Thus the term "He was Kert with me" arose. Over time, the spelling changed from "Kert" to "curt."

- FBB


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## KWillets (Feb 28, 2006)

The Llednevir frame is actually an old Kert touring design. It was made by 89-year-old traditional eccentrics in the Kert factory in Wales until six months ago, when our telegrams began to go unanswered. As this had happened before, we assumed that it was a delay in exchanging mail among passing ships in the triangle trade. However we later heard firsthand, from a Kert rider on his way to the Bamboo Crank Show, that the Kert factory had closed due to an excess of cats. We are now searching for a new builder.


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## cadence90 (Sep 12, 2004)

KWillets said:


> The Llednevir frame is actually an old Kert touring design. It was made by 89-year-old traditional eccentrics in the Kert factory in Wales until six months ago, when our telegrams began to go unanswered. As this had happened before, we assumed that it was a delay in exchanging mail among passing ships in the triangle trade. However we later heard firsthand, from a Kert rider on his way to the Bamboo Crank Show, that the Kert factory had closed due to an excess of cats. We are now searching for a new builder.


I do believe your are correct. But it wasn't only the cats. I have it from a reliable source in the Welsh brewing industry that the "traditional eccentrics", as they self-styled themselves, did in fact leave Wales under rather more dastardly and mysterious circumstances one foggy night.

They landed in France, and promptly found work at the famous hub maker Blanc Industrie. When questioned by the local _gendarmerie_ as to the vague situation surrounding their arrival, rather than say "one foggy night" their crusty leader Shellup Frown said "eno foggy night". 

This appeased the constable and from then on "traditional eccentrics" have been known as "enos". 

HTH!


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## rocky rode (Nov 15, 2005)

Hey buck-50. Can I join your cult? I'll pay whatever you ask.


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## rocky rode (Nov 15, 2005)

Oops! Double post, sorry


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## Seamus (May 23, 2005)

I stumbled upon this thread after searching 'lube'. What a treat. I am now a member of the Branties (that is what we are calling ourselves, is it not?).:thumbsup: 

Jim... ooops, I meant Mij


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

Seamus said:


> I am now a member of the Branties (that is what we are calling ourselves, is it not?)


I vote that we name our group "LOBs."

- FBB


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## BobHufford (Dec 4, 2004)

buck-50 said:


> Steel is real, wool is real, so it follows that steel wool is the realest material of them all.


Speaking of steel-wool ... I see that bronze-wool trousers are on sale at Simon's. 

http://tinyurl.com/f8gh3

Oh, crap. That's sure to get me kicked off the list. :nonod: 

Bob


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

BobHufford said:


> Speaking of steel-wool ... I see that bronze-wool trousers are on sale at Simon's.
> 
> http://tinyurl.com/f8gh3
> 
> ...


Hi Bob!

Slummin' it over here at RBR, eh? Well, it's nice to hear from you once before you get kicked off.  

You want I should send you a LOB membership card?

- FBB


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## BobHufford (Dec 4, 2004)

fbagatelleblack said:


> You want I should send you a LOB membership card?


Sure Forbes! Also, do you think it would be OK if I spun off a LOBishBikesFS List?


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

BobHufford said:


> Sure Forbes! Also, do you think it would be OK if I spun off a LOBishBikesFS List?


I believe it is a felony to sell a LOBish bike in most states, so I'd hold off on that idea.

- FBB


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## cadence90 (Sep 12, 2004)

fbagatelleblack said:


> I believe it is a felony to sell a LOBish bike in most states, so I'd hold off on that idea.
> 
> - FBB


Felony? It is _far_ worse than that.

It is true that he (Brant) dropped so many Llednevir leaflets from the sky that local, state and national authorities have agreed to impose the felony charge, as the leaflet clean-up bills were draining the local economies and clogging the riparian waterways. But this is really only a legal/jurisdictional matter. You do your time, pay your fine and you're on your way.

...If it were _only_ that simple: Selling a LOBish bike will result in immediate _shunning_ and _banning_ from the LOBs, after a ceremony in a dank woodland glen (the trees are the best possible mix of firs, oaks and cottonwwoods, personally selected as saplings by he (Brant) himself) inspired by she (Hester Prynne) herself, in which a mark reading "LOB" with a red "*X*" across is tattooed to one's (your) forehead. Of course, the ink _is_ drawn from the finest steer, hog and chicken stock that he (Brant) personally raises, so it's the best.

But still, while you might become friends with David Clinger sporting that tat, there is no way you (you) will ever set foot in a LOB-owned or -controlled co-op (usually called LOB-ops) again, and you know they sell _only_ the best stuff.

Trust us, son, selling a LOB is not worth it....


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## KWillets (Feb 28, 2006)

We regret to report that our supplies of 1930's-style Baby Seal bar wrap (LR's #97, 1-53) are nearly exhausted, as our most recent shipment was doused with fake blood by Animal Rights protesters, and the factory set afire. Longtime LR reader, Don reports that his brevet was interrupted by chanting activists, who caused him to swerve and scratch his frame and suffer a possibly bent derailleur hanger. Don, who also suffered some minor injuries in the incident, has told us not to worry, as his "friction levers.shift fine even when doused in blood and gore". It was a little dicey, but we managed to lose a few orders and promised Don we would have his frame fixed by the time he gets out of the hospital in six months.

Our search for an in-house frame builder may finally be coming to an end, as we've been unable to find a number of candidates who initially applied via email. All in all, it's probably for the best, as we've had our misgivings for years about Nigeria's ability to produce really good lugged framebuilders. Luckily we've found Jim, a welder at a local installer of traditional lugged steel mufflers. Jim assures us that he loves to file lugs all day, without the methamphetamines used by less traditional builders.


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## MDGColorado (Nov 9, 2004)

I see the bike has no water bottles. This is good, as people are drinking too much water. Drinking too much water is not a big thing and it won't hurt your riding and water is free and even Shimano employees drink water and so do the brazers at Toyo, but why do it?


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## fbagatelleblack (Mar 31, 2005)

*Just Got My New L.L. Ednevir Winter Catalog!!*

And Boy-Howdy, am I excited!! I am attaching scans of a few of the most promising new catalog items!

- FBB


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