# Coolest Bicycle Names (and the worst)



## Sintesi (Nov 13, 2001)

A pointy head topic for bike nerds on a friday afternoon. So what are, in your opinion, the coolest sounding bike names of all time? And which ones really suck? Here's a few from the top of me head (I guess I tend to like Italian or Italian sounding names). But you can come up with better than this can't you boys and girls?



GOOD:

Derosa Neo-Primato (or just plain Primato)
Pegoretti Marcelo
Lemond Zurich
Schwinn Paramount
Merlin Cielo
Moots VaMoots
Tommasini Sintesi – if you’ll allow me. 
Ritchey Chicane
Kestrel Talon
Serotta Legend

EH:
Look 381i – in the middle: “Look” is a really cool name but 381i is zzzzz. 


BAD:


Trek OCLV 5200, Cannondale CAAD 5, Cervelo 2.5, Giant TCR 1 – numbers and acronyms. YAWN!
Pinarello Prince, Derosa King – bland, obvious.
Dean El Diente – que?
DeRosa Merak – Don’t know what a “Merak is; don’t want to know what a “Merak” is.
Fondriest Carb-Level – Love the bike but sounds like a diet.
Pegoretti Great GoogoleeMoogolee – whatever.


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## xxl (Mar 19, 2002)

A bit dated, but recall Colnago's "Bi-Titan?"

And, FWIW, "El Diente" means "the Diente."


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## The Walrus (Apr 2, 2000)

*Yeah--and "Diente" means...?*

Actually, "el Diente" sounds like a mispronunciation of the way pasta should be cooked...

My fave: VooDoo Wazoo. It brightens my day just saying it.


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## Snirp (Mar 14, 2002)

I never thought "Iron Horse" conjured up an image of lightness. Why not just name the bike "boat anchor"?


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## Marc (Jan 23, 2005)

*Not sure where this one goes...*

Bad..or really bad?

Gary Fisher HOO KOO E KOO (????)


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## Sintesi (Nov 13, 2001)

Snirp said:


> I never thought "Iron Horse" conjured up an image of lightness. Why not just name the bike "boat anchor"?



Isn't there a frame maker called "Anvil?". Of course with a name like that you better be pretty good.


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## GearDaddy (Apr 1, 2004)

Good:
- Kona has great names: "Explosif, Stab, Primo, Jake the Snake ..."
- Colnago's are OK: "Tecnos, Master X Light, Dream ..."

Bad:
- Cannondale's numbering is confusing, i.e. it's hard to discern the good bikes from the cheap ones.
- I can't recall the maker, but I know there's a "Tsunami" out there.


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## HouseMoney (Oct 28, 2002)

Cove Bikes in the mtb world - 

Handjob, Stiffee, Hummer, G-Spot, Hooker, ...


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## pedalsanity (Nov 18, 2004)

My favorites:

Ibis Hakalugi
Surly long-haul trucker
Sycip Java Boy
Kona Stinky Dee-Lux
Santa Cruz Blur


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## Jas0n (Nov 9, 2002)

*Calfee Dragonfly*

calfee dragonfly, but im partial.


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## godot (Feb 3, 2004)

*Orca?*

Let's name a light weight carbon frame after a whale. According to Orbea, Orca stands for Orbea Carbon, still seems questionable to me.


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## j-son (Jul 16, 2002)

Bestest:
* Pegoretti: Big Leg Emma
* " ": Fina Estampa
* Ibis: Mojo
* QR: Lucero
* QR: TiPhoon
* Schwinn: King of the Mountain


Worstest:
* Surly: Karate Monkey
* GURU: Chron'Alu
* Klein: Palomino
*Torelli (the brand name -- pseudo-Italian ... agh ugh)


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

*A "what were they thinking" name*

Real name...*The Huffy Fugitive*...ride it like ya stole it maybe?


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## Dave_Stohler (Jan 22, 2004)

*Actually.....*



Snirp said:


> I never thought "Iron Horse" conjured up an image of lightness. Why not just name the bike "boat anchor"?


Bridgestone makes a road bike for the Japanese market that is called "Anchor".


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## Drone 5200 (Mar 3, 2003)

I like the way Lemond names bikes after big climbs and cycling terms: Tete de Course, Alpe D'Huez, Maillot Jaune, Tourmalet. 

I don't care for the name "Madone." Col de la Madone would be ok, but Madone by itself has too many religious undertones for me. I suppose Trek isn't planning on selling many of these in France. Of course, that won't stop me from buying one. 

I second the comment about cannondale: R2000, R3000, CAAD7, CAAD 8???? It's alphabet soup. Confusing and unimaginative.


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## Mike T. (Feb 3, 2004)

Kona had the _*"Muni-mula"*_..........spell that one backwards. Sheer genius!


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## Mayday (Jan 22, 2004)

"Worstest:
* Surly: Karate Monkey
* GURU: Chron'Alu
* Klein: Palomino
*Torelli (the brand name -- pseudo-Italian ... agh ugh)"

I was just about to say I like the name Surly Karate Monkey. And I thought Torelli was Italian -- isn't it?

As for the worst, I always get a kick out of Faggin and Scattante.


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## Bocephus Jones II (Oct 7, 2004)

Mayday said:


> "Worstest:
> * Surly: Karate Monkey
> * GURU: Chron'Alu
> * Klein: Palomino
> ...


Macalu as well. Yuck.


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## Sintesi (Nov 13, 2001)

Mayday said:


> "Worstest:
> * Surly: Karate Monkey
> * GURU: Chron'Alu
> * Klein: Palomino
> ...


Faggin???

LOL! That's a tough sell in the states. Never heard of that one in my life.


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## rufus (Feb 3, 2004)

> *Torelli (the brand name -- pseudo-Italian ... agh ugh)


what's pseudo about it? it means "little bull" in italian, and all their frames are handbuilt in italy, so......

i could understand if they had an italian name but had their bikes built in the far east *cough* masi, bianchi *cough cough*


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## Frith (Oct 3, 2002)

*dumbest name ever....*

Specialized.
I like thier gear but that name is horrible.

best ever.
Vanilla


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## bigdeal (Jul 24, 2002)

*translation*

at least in spanish, el diente means the tooth.


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## Mapei (Feb 3, 2004)

I may be wrong, but I think Merak is the name for one of those fierce Santa Ana type winds that plague Southern Europe. I do know that there was a Maserati model called the Merak, about two decades ago.


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## j-son (Jul 16, 2002)

it's an american importer run by a bald white guy who calls himself chairman bill in their ads. i dunno, always struck me as goofy ... the bikes might be made in Italy, but the company is American, so why the fake Italian image? Ah, that's it ... image. If you are based on Lake Como, you can pull it off ... but otherwise, maybe not. The frames look pretty good though, I tink they are (were?) made by Mondonico.


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## TurboTurtle (Feb 4, 2004)

You've all missed Bianchi's new single speed - the bright pink P.U.S.S. - TF


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## gotmilk? (Nov 28, 2004)

Pretty Good: Specialized Allez


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## Dave Hickey (Jan 27, 2002)

Best: Carrera- It gives the image of speed....

Worst: Faggin- It gives the image of ....never mind...


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## Thorn Bait (Feb 3, 2004)

*Faggin...*

Some Faggin pictures...


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## terry b (Jan 29, 2004)

Mapei Roida said:


> I may be wrong, but I think Merak is the name for one of those fierce Santa Ana type winds that plague Southern Europe. I do know that there was a Maserati model called the Merak, about two decades ago.



Merak is one of the stars in Ursa Major - (the Big Dipper).

Hence the little star-thingy that's painted around the name on the top tube.


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## sgt_hedgehog (Jun 28, 2004)

double post, sorry


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## merckxman (Jan 23, 2002)

*Cocaine Can't Kill My Pain*

Pegoretti CCKMP. Some days I think it's a cool name, some days not.


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## Lifelover (Jul 8, 2004)

*Landshark*

Bad: LANDSHARK

I've always thought he would sell more bikes with a better name. However it does get me to laugh because it reminds me of the old SNL skit.


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## colker1 (Jan 2, 2003)

merckxman said:


> Pegoretti CCKMP. Some days I think it's a cool name, some days not.


pegoretti is the king of names- i believe most are music related. besides CCKMP, there's big leg emma, i guess from a frank zappa song. there's "que não se vê" and "fina estampa", the later is the name of a caetano veloso compilation of cuban, vezuelan, colombian, spanish romantic songs. a stunning CD.
can you top those? i don't think so...


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## colker1 (Jan 2, 2003)

j-son said:


> Bestest:
> * Pegoretti: Big Leg Emma
> * " ": Fina Estampa
> * Ibis: Mojo
> ...



palomino is cool. i always remember a band called golden palominos when i read it. ibis mojo, yeah... and fat chance yo eddy, fat chance wicked are not bad at all.
klein atittude is lame.


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## colker1 (Jan 2, 2003)

the most pretentious and suspicious name- ellsworth "truth."


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## My Dog Wally (Mar 29, 2003)

Good name: Independent Fabrication because we get to call it Indy Fab. You gotta like that.

Awful name: Framé. Nashbar put that pretentious little accent mark over the E so that we would pronounce it Frah-MAY. Since nobody did, they put a pronunciation guide in every catalog. They're working awfully hard to conjure up some European heritage, but Nashbar's marketing department isn't clever enough to pull it off. It's shameless amateurism.


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## Sintesi (Nov 13, 2001)

My Dog Wally said:


> Good name: Independent Fabrication because we get to call it Indy Fab. You gotta like that.
> 
> Awful name: Framé. Nashbar put that pretentious little accent mark over the E so that we would pronounce it Frah-MAY. Since nobody did, they put a pronunciation guide in every catalog. They're working awfully hard to conjure up some European heritage, but Nashbar's marketing department isn't clever enough to pull it off. It's shameless amateurism.


Fram'e. That might be the very worst. The mentallity behind it .... ooof!


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## Dorf411 (Dec 17, 2002)

Vagacini

I've seen a couple of these on Ebay, that is sort of funny/good and bad all at the same time.


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## firstrax (Nov 13, 2001)

Sintesi said:


> Faggin???
> 
> LOL! That's a tough sell in the states. Never heard of that one in my life.


The Faggin


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## PaulCL (Jan 29, 2000)

*"Bi-Titan" was a good name*

Awesome titanium frame (I rode one for years) and it had the twin downtubes hence the "bi-titan" 

hmmm....or maybe it was named after some really big metrosexual???


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

*Coolest:*

Ridley has a bunch of good ones:

~ Damocles/SuperDamocles - "ever-present peril"
~ Phaeton - A light, four-wheeled open carriage, usually drawn by a pair of horses.
~ Excalibur - medieval, noble and stuff
~ Boreas - The god of the north wind, or just north wind. Giro had a helmet named that.
~ Pegasus - flying horse
~ Crossbow - very  name, 'specially for a CX bike.

~ Pegoretti Duende - "The ability to attract others through personal magnetism and charm." The bike, not the rider.

~ Anything named after a famous or tough race, stage, or mountain, or cycling place in Yurp is usually OK, (but can get to be pedestrian sometimes): Izoard, Roubaix, Tuscany, Angliru, etc.

*Not Coolest:*

There are dozens of stupid, sophomoric names, especially on MTB's like -

~ Hakalugi - what's this mean..."I'm going to spit on you if you don't let me pass, cuz I'ma punk"??
~ Handjob - "I'm a jerk-off riding a jerked-off bike.", and all of the other sexual-type names. Just retarded that you have to call attention to yourself with bike names like that. Get a penis or something.
~ Jake the Snake - "Ooh, I'm tough! WWF roolz!"
~ Long-Haul Trucker - "Yee-HAW! Are we riding bikes or playing Tonka?""
~ Stinky Dee-Lux - "I didn;t wash my ass today, so I have some nice saddle sores to brag about..."

ad nauseum


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## TREKY (Jan 1, 1970)

*Here's mine...*

...
Worst any Trek using a number.1000,1200 5200,etc.

Best. Litespeed Tuscany.
Litespeed Classic
Burley Fox Hollow


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## Nigeyy (Mar 30, 2003)

Not really got much to add -but I do like "Mongoose" but only for the mtb world.

I'll second the sentiment that any bike manufacturer who wishes to label their bikes 1000, 1200, 500, 600, 3000 prefixed with or without a letter, etc., show an absolute lack of imagination. Letters and numbers are the fastest way to confuse and "blandify" a product IMHO.


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2005)

Pretty much any of the Kona names are great

Say this one three times fast :

HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUA'PUA'A DELUXE


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## merckxman (Jan 23, 2002)

*fina stampa*

Thanks for the cd tip; have to get this one.



colker1 said:


> pegoretti is the king of names- i believe most are music related. besides CCKMP, there's big leg emma, i guess from a frank zappa song. there's "que não se vê" and "fina estampa", the later is the name of a caetano veloso compilation of cuban, vezuelan, colombian, spanish romantic songs. a stunning CD.
> can you top those? i don't think so...


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## The Walrus (Apr 2, 2000)

"Jake the Snake" wasn't a wrestling reference--it was the nom du velo of Jacob Heilbron, a national 'cross champion and one of the founders of Kona....


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## seeborough (Feb 3, 2004)

*The Panther*

The Schwinn Panther, that is. An aluminum, sub-20 lbd. beach cruiser, shiny black singlespeed complete with faux-carbon fenders. Bound to be a classic...
Others worth mentioning: Palmares and Ghisallo, Madone, Redline Conquest, Gunnar
Worth forgetting: anythig KHS or Giant, Titus Moto-Lite Exogrid (huh?), Orbea Starship Carbon, TerraFerma (?closed earth?).


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

The Walrus said:


> "Jake the Snake" wasn't a wrestling reference--it was the nom du velo of Jacob Heilbron, a national 'cross champion and one of the founders of Kona....


Yeah, well it still sounds dumb for a bike name.  YMMV


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## gotmilk? (Nov 28, 2004)

toomanybikes said:


> Pretty much any of the Kona names are great
> 
> Say this one three times fast :
> 
> HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUA'PUA'A DELUXE


Did they name a bike after the Hawaian state fish or I am I the guppy with the hook in my mouth? Aloha.


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## tempeteOntheRoad (Dec 21, 2001)

*The best and the worst*

Best names: Pegoretti Big Leg Emma... second: Marinoni Piuma (piuma = feather). 
Original MTB: Ritchey, Fischer, Breezer, Bontrager, Lapierre.

Mention : Scwhinn and Salsa!


worst: Scattante, Kuota, Specialized, Mikado, Trek, Argon 18, Guru, Giant.

I like when the name comes from the builder, at least the initial founder of a name. You cannot be against that. Even when it's a friggin' strange name (Ryffranck!).


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## toojue (Jan 31, 2005)

*Moots*

Can anyone confirm or deny this? Okay, so a former teammate of mine is from Canberra, Australia and said that MOOTS is a derogatory term like ****. Now if this were true, saying things like "I like to ride my Moots for fun" or "My MOOTS looks great outside" would certainly be taboo in the cycling world!


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## cycleman_21 (Jan 16, 2005)

*worst?*

Airborne ZEPPLIN--floating,burning,crashing piece of death,but I almost bought one  
GT or K2 just what does that stand for?  
I think TREK is giving out the postal boys zip codes or sumthin,I'm just
waiting for the 3201 starship enterprise before I buy one.  
How about BURLEY,makes me think of cheezy tattoos in places I don,t wanna see  
FELT,Fondriest,LOOK(hey LOOK at meeee)

Really though,its all good  as long as you ride,the happier you'll be


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

cycleman_21 said:


> GT or K2 just what does that stand for?
> I think TREK is giving out the postal boys zip codes or sumthin,I'm just
> waiting for the 3201 starship enterprise before I buy one.


K2 is the name of the second highest mountain in the world (8,611 meters), located in the Himalayas. It's regarded as one of the hardest to climb.and many say it's a tougher climb than Everest.

I like the Trek/Enterprise joke. Laff!

Lance: "I've _got_ to have more POWER, Georgie..."

Hincapie: "It's the dylithium _crystals_ in the frame matrix Captain! They're at maximum stress...I dunno if she can take much more o' this..."


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## elviento (Mar 24, 2002)

The madone is a pretty confusing name if you ask me. 

I have heard it pronounced as "ma-done" "madonna" "madoney", while myself called it "mad-one" for quite some time. Thought it was "Yeah, I am a mad one so I am gonna blow right by you..." kind of thing. 

Pretty silly, huh? 




Drone 5200 said:


> I like the way Lemond names bikes after big climbs and cycling terms: Tete de Course, Alpe D'Huez, Maillot Jaune, Tourmalet.
> 
> I don't care for the name "Madone." Col de la Madone would be ok, but Madone by itself has too many religious undertones for me. I suppose Trek isn't planning on selling many of these in France. Of course, that won't stop me from buying one.
> 
> I second the comment about cannondale: R2000, R3000, CAAD7, CAAD 8???? It's alphabet soup. Confusing and unimaginative.


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## Welshboy (Jan 14, 2002)

*My first was the best...*

The bike that got me back cycling as an adult was a pretty solid Tange steel framed 'Al Carter' MTB called...

Black Panther.

Cool or what? Even cooler when I upgraded her to XT thumbies.


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## useyourdagger (Mar 5, 2004)

*Yo Eddy!*

Fat Chance Yo Eddy! is such a great name it comes with its own exclamation point. Also the Slim Chance road frame. Also partial to the Dean Castanza.


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## Toml (Dec 21, 2004)

bigdeal said:


> at least in spanish, el diente means the tooth.


El Diente is the name of a 14,159-foot point on the ridge west of Mt. Wilson, near Telluride, Colorado.


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## jumpstumper (Aug 17, 2004)

Specialized Sequoia Expert - horrible name. "I'm off to ride my Sequoia" would elicit amusing responses (he rides a tree???)


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## Metsmike (Jan 15, 2005)

merckxman said:


> Pegoretti CCKMP. Some days I think it's a cool name, some days not.


How about the Pegoretti 8:30 am, named after when Dario starts work?


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

Metsmike said:


> How about the Pegoretti 8:30 am, named after when Dario starts work?


I like it. Just like when I have my custom Peg made I'll call it the "3:18 am or Thereabouts" for when I end up in the sack most every day (night?)


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## P-Quoddy (Oct 25, 2004)

rufus said:


> what's pseudo about it? it means "little bull" in italian, and all their frames are handbuilt in italy, so......
> 
> i could understand if they had an italian name but had their bikes built in the far east *cough* masi, bianchi *cough cough*


We could start another thread on cool Torelli model names. 
Gran Sasso
Corsa Strada
Countach
Express
Nitro Express
Cortona
Spada
Stiletto
Scapa
Titanio
Toccata
Recite these names all in a row is like sounding a dog whistle for the babes. 
Reading this
http://www.torelli.com/home.html?default.shtml&1
makes it clear that the Italian thing is anything but just "image". And chairman Bill actually rides, which in todays bicycle marketplace does seem kind of goofy.


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

P-Quoddy said:


> model names.
> Gran Sasso
> Corsa Strada
> Countach
> ...


Actually not a bad one in the bunch AFAIC.


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## K-Zero (Feb 7, 2004)

*Anchor*

Sounds fast, doesn't it?

K-Zero


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## AJS (Aug 7, 2003)

K-Zero said:


> Sounds fast, doesn't it?
> 
> K-Zero


LOL! Yeah, fast like a brick.


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## aliensporebomb (Jul 2, 2002)

*Some funny ones.....*

There were some funny ones in the thread.

The one that ALWAYS threw me because I didn't know how to pronounce
it until last year was CIOCC.

Now, I'd ride one of their bikes in a second if I could afford one but it 
always sounded like the sound someone would make if they were choking.


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## Jdub (May 5, 2004)

AJS said:


> *
> Not Coolest:
> 
> ~ Hakalugi
> *


*

Oh I strongly have to disagree with you here. This is hands down the best name for a cyclocross bike ever ... In my opinion*


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