# 2011 Hillier than thou



## psycleridr

Anyone know when and where registration might happen?


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## AlanE

This ride is organized by Central Jersey Bicycle Club. Their web site shows it as being held in September, but no date set as of yet. It was on Sunday the 19th last year, so I would guess it will be on Sunday the 18th this year. They have a link on their homepage to active.com for last year's registration so again I would guess that they will do the same this year. But I'm only guessing.


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## ROAD&DIRT

Great ride... looking forward to this years event


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## thegock

*2010 HTT Ride Report*

The Way I Am


Talmonster and I headed up early from his house to the starting line at Camp Birney, leaving on time at 6am. He is one of my most reliable riding partners, never late and never complains. I awoke at 3:45am instead of the alarm time at 4:40am. Not prerace excitement, just too much Greek food. We made the Asbury McDonalds on 31 in plenty of time for the preparatory ceremonies. It is always a mixed crowd of regulars and transients for the Lycra boyz to mingle with at 6:45am on a Sunday in September.

To begin, where most stories begin, at the end, we had helped Kyle tear down the ride infrastructure, because he was short of volunteers on the back end. As we drove in the dark down the steep access road to Camp Birney, we passed the last five finishers who had over 100 miles in their legs. Dave, from Mahwah finished first in this autobus so I stopped the truck and offered him a training beverage. He exclaimed: “A COLD BEER!!!! Next was Grace sporting the NYC Velocity kit, who had a custom frame. Finally, toward the bottom of the road was a group of three. When I shouted out to them to “Attack now”, the woman in that group said “I’ve got nothing left.”

Only 6 riders from the LBS wanted to suffer in 2010, which was up from four in the 2009 ride when a predicted rain out from a passing hurricane kept most home and down from the 15 riders in 2008. Frankly, I don’t need all the social distortion. I am fine with Talmonster and a couple of others.

We ran into Johnnie O from Liberty, who knew Talmonster from the Farmlands ride in the spring. The early crowd was thin and we breezed out of registration. As I loaded up my jersey with Gu, I threw in a baggie with 10 Endurolytes that Big Mike had recommended the year before. How many could I use, anyway? They weren’t in stock in 2009 and I did without, and suffered the worst cramps of my life about 60 miles in. This year, I listened. 

We had a good break on the weather and it was at least 58 degrees for the rollout down Turkey Top Rd. During the day, it never got over 78 degrees either so I would call it a sunny day in the perfect temperature range with dry fall air, on one of the last three days of summer.

My approach to this year was slightly different. I had plenty of miles. No more than the year before, I suppose. I also had climbed Valley Drive’s 266 vertical feet about 38 times in the two months before taper week. Nearly biffed on one of those 38 descents, too, when I hit a stick at 38mph. The thing that I was most happy with was my intensity. I did some double days in the afternoons before the Wednesday Night World Championships and got dropped on a few of those nights. I didn’t feel like my form was very good.

My weight was up about five pounds from the year before. My friend Kevin had said to me that he eats just about anything he wants and I proceeded to do so in May, loading up on five pounds of the sacred Double Stuff Oreos. (Daughter, when I came home with the groceries with the Double Stuffs a couple of years ago: “Dad, are you TRYING to make me FAT?”) I hadn’t had ice cream for a couple of months, though, and two beers was mostly my limit, anyway. We would see what this meant shortly. 

I knew enough to stay near the front of the rollout, being not strong enough to stay with the racer boys on the first climb up Stephensburg. With Talmonster and Johnnie O, we sat in with three to six others and caught the racers about five miles from the top of that first steep climb, where Muscenetcong Rd meets Rt. 31. The difference for me this year is that I actually did my share of work, knowing that we had to catch them quickly.

We climbed Buttermilk Bridge Rd at a good pace and a 14 year old state champ pedaled effortlessly alongside and told me about his $3,*** carbon wheels. On the steep descent, the road passes over a short concrete railroad trestle, where it bends sharply to the right at the end. The guy in front of the 14 year old misjudged the turn, banged into the concrete retaining wall on the left and bounced back into the road, about a foot from taking down the quick witted champ with him. I swerved right and was glad to skip the road rash just before the first rest area. 

The 14 year old met his Dad staffed SAG support there to fuel up. The first rest stop is always packed but I spotted a late arriving volunteer, who I knew and circled around to get my race number signed for a quick getaway. I was being passed steadily by a string of 15 of the fast guys as we ramped up toward the base of Coleman Bickel. The 20 riders in front of me missed the quick, steep right and for a moment, when I turned right 25 miles in, Talmonster said, I was leading the race. It wouldn’t last. The racer boys looked mad, when they went sprinting up the hill. One of them had a jersey that was from the World Duathalon Championships in Scotland. It didn’t look like he bought the jersey on eBay. Bmeister, my chief rival du jour, was with them and he looked as hard as a rock as the fast group passed climbing aggressively on my left.

If I beat him today, I would win three cases of Pilsner Urquell. I was toying with the idea of offering one of the cases to him if he would let me win, but he didn’t look like he would go for it. Plus, giving him more motivation didn’t seem like a good idea and I was flat out afraid of what his response might be. A key component of the agreement was that I would only get the beer if HE also finished the race. In 2009 he had crashed out.

Though Talmonster and Johnnie O dropped away on Coleman Bickel, they rejoined just after the top. I really don’t have the power that they have on the flats, or what passes for flats among the ridges of northwest jersey. As the three of us swooped down into Belvidere, we joined a crew of four from Marty’s, including the redoubtable Jessie, who I didn’t recognize with 20lbs of Mywifejusthadababy fat. They led us past the renovated Belvidere Hotel. Though the cue sheet clearly stated that we must walk the steeds across the metal grated Delaware Bridge (ahhhhh, a rest!), they insisted on running. Great. When we got to the first steep climb, headed north along the river, Jessie indicated that he was ‘going to go at his own pace’ and we never saw him again. At the top, there were five guys on hogs enjoying the view and one of our group said: “It would be easier on one of those.” They laughed in that fat guy, motorcyclist kind of way.

The hills on the Pennsylvania side of the Delaware River are not as dramatic, not as high and not as steep but they are a couple of testers thrown in before recrossing the Delaware for Fiddlers. Among them was one 90 degree, dangerous turn in the middle of the steepest descent. As we cruised past a harvested field, there was the first red tailed hawk of the day circling overhead.

We went ripping back to the bridge completing a 12 mile loop out of Riverton, PA. By that time, I had nearly used up my 10 Endurolytes in my jersey pocket, because all three of us were cramping. Fortunately, we had lost the other guys so we walked the bikes back toward Jersey. Our good fortune doubled, when we found about 16 Endurolytes that someone had leaked out like a trail of breadcrumbs on the walkway. These came in handy later.

The Belvidere approach turns must have been a bit tricky, because we saw quite a few riders off course there on the way back to Fiddlers. The former village of Foul Rift was nearly indistinguishable from the growth around it as we ripped through. As we climbed Roxburg Station road, the little popper before Fiddlers, Johnnie said he was cramping and fell away. We won’t be seeing him again, I thought to myself and I was fighting cramps at that point, too. Not the way you want to be before the steepest climb in most states.

As Talmonster and I began the climb with the right turn off of Ridge Rd., I noticed that he looked pretty strong this year. At 165lbs over a 6’2” frame, not many are built to climb like him. Conversely, I thought that I was fat, a bit undertrained, and wasn’t sure that I would stay on the bike on the way up. Luck was with me. The walk of shame was not necessary this day, despite being on the border of cramping the whole way up.

The Brass Castle descent was flawless, if a bit slow at 46mph. When we turned left onto Wester-Decker, the legs went into full spasm mode and I alternated spinning and standing on the pedals for a bit. When we crested Fox Farm and stopped at the Merrill Creek reservoir, Talmonster wanted to rest, but I cut that short and pounded down two Cliff shots before remounting. Johnnie wheeled up like rising from the dead and joined us. Bmeister was in the rest area and looked completely devastated. That was odd.

On the way around the reservoir, some bald, fat guy in a car that must have been worth at least $5,000 at one point in its existence slowed as he passed us going the other way. He dropped some very angry F bombs on the five of us but didn’t stop. They never do.

Just after, a guy sporting a full orange Euskatel Euskadi kit ripped by us on the left, missing the right turn for Richline. Bye. On the way down Montana, the same lunatic passed the Talmonster on a steep, sketchy turn. He would be a constant companion for miles, passing us, making a wrong turn, then rejoining us. If Talmonster hadn’t called him back once, he might be in Canada today. The kit looked great, though, and he won ‘Best Costume’.

After a brisk pace line for miles on the flattest part of the route, we started the climb of County Road 579 toward the highest point in Hunterdon County with six of us. It leads up to the top of Tunel Rd. I started in my favorite climbing position for a two mile climb-the back. The road had just been paved in the last two months and had that baby’s butt smoothness. 

For NJ, two miles is a very long climb and this one is fairly steep. At the mile mark, floating about 75 yards ahead of my front wheel was the Basque wannabe. I finally stood up on the pedals and quickly nested in his draft. I wanted him to know that I was coming. Everyone else had disappeared. Kind of bored, I waited for the last half mile or so before standing back up and finishing the climb and claiming the Basque nonnational championship. I parked the C-50 against one of a shady grove of eastern hemlocks and waited for Talmonster, slamming down two gel packs. Then, I descended the sketchy Tunel Rd. carefully, just behind him and Johnnie.

The three of us arrived at the bottom of Ironbridge and the Talmonster wanted to tap a kidney. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lizard drain as much as the next guy but when I am cranking for four hours, all my moisture is evaporating. I left them. During the preride a month earlier, Ironbridge was covered with gravel because they had just oiled it. Now the surface was set and the climb was a slog, with cramps still an issue. At the top, I saw two guy who I knew who were volunteering and hugged one of them because I was so happy to be done with the Ironbridge effort. I paused twice my usual 90 seconds to grab a banana and wheeled out just as T&J pulled in.

Cramping was a problem almost immediately and I had to chase hard to reattach to three other guys on Van Syckles near Spruce Run Reservoir. I cheated a bit and used some fast guy on a tri bike for a half a mile there to draft. When we got to Rt. 31 the light was red and we stopped. My right leg immediately went into the worst quad cramp spasm that I have ever had. A woman turning off of 31 stopped and asked me if I needed a ride and I considered it seriously. After I limped glacially across 31 on the green light, only making it because the northbound traffic waited for me to clear, I figured that I might as well remount and give it a whirl. Amazingly, the cramps receded.

Climbing Buffalo Hollow/Observatory Rd while spinning, a young guy passed me silently. There wasn’t a chance that I would cover his wheel. On the descent toward High Bridge on 513 I used my superior weight to catch him and told him about the turnoff on Mill to the left that is easy to miss. We talked as we rode toward the base of one of the toughest climbs on the course. (When I prerode this part of the course alone the month before, I had gotten lost in High Bridge. The Spanish dude cleaning the sidewalk outside of a restaurant there, who gave me directions to Wilson/Herman Thau Rd., had a few last words about that long climb before I was on my way. He said: “…but eeet eees hard.” Music to my ears.)

The young dude said to me that he was 17 years old and asked how old I was. When I told him 55, he started to wax poetic and said: “I gotta give you a lot of credit, man.” I told him that I left my iron lung in the truck. He jetted away up the Wilson Rd. hill as I plodded on, cramps temporarily at bay.

Along the way a Ridgewood/Westwood biker named Alex passed and rode in the front. He pulled me up Cokesbury Rd. a bit faster than I would have otherwise gone at the mile long climb. Two thirds of the way up we saw the young dude again by the side of the road with 8 miles to go. We wouldn’t see him again until the race was ended.

At the base of Longview, climbing up the ramp Alex fell away a bit. As the road bent right coming out of the shade past the bridge over the stream, I saw a different rider on the steep bit above me. As I caught him on the steeps, I said a few collegial words and he said that he was mad. When I asked why, he said it was because me passing him meant that he would not finish in the top 25. JB was a 210 pound Clyde, he told me, and a credit to his weight class, I would offer. I had ridden Longview on July 31st when Talmonster and his mountain biking buds invited me to climb 10 Hills of Hunterdon county. The 27 year old dude, who beat me up most of the 10, told me that Dookie was big when he was in junior high and that all the songs, including Longview, were about masturbation…OK.

I passed another rider during the cruise through the town of Califon and he told me that there were five or eight riders in front of me. When School St. turned into Sliker Rd., they were all visible on the long, straight ramp ahead of me. Except on Fiddlers, Ironbridge and a couple of other pitches, I had sat and spun most of the day so I was well rested. I caught the first two guys 300 yards up the ramp and glided silently by. Now I could see only three ahead of me. Just before the halfway point of the climb, I passed one other. 

As I wheeled up on the other two and rested off their back wheels, they were talking. One of them said to the other: “I wonder if there will be a shuttle from the finish to the parking lot?” As I slid between them and up the hill, I said: “Gimme a break-this ain’t no beatch ride.”

Several days later, I brought one of the cases of Pilsner Urquell up to the Bmeister’s house and dropped it off as tribute for him finishing. He had said to me after the race that he was thinking of retiring but after blowing up this year, he had to come back and make another race in 2011.

Talmonster finished 10 minutes behind me and avoided getting chicked for the first time in eternity. In my age group, some Uruguayan ex- pro (at least that was the way I saw it in my fantasy world) beat me by twenty minutes for the gold. In 24th of the field, I had moved up one place from the year before.


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## psycleridr

Great write up! made me smile more than once. I still hope to be able to do this ride this year


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## Nielly

I got an e-mail on 3/22 stating that registration is open. Date is Sunday 9/18.


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## psycleridr

Yeah, when I saw the write up from last year I immediately went to check and found it. Am all signed up! here is link
http://www.active.com/cycling/port-murray-nj/hillier-than-thou-2011-da452


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## tburgesscsp

CJBC website or Active.com

http://www.cjbc.org/pdf/2011 Flyer.pdf


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## thegock

*Hillier Redux*

The cjbc.org just posted on August 3 on their forums that Hillier is on. Now the trick will be to lose 20 lbs in 45 days.:arf:


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## climbingcue

Great event, look forward to Hiller every year...


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## stoked

psycleridr said:


> Great write up! made me smile more than once. I still hope to be able to do this ride this year


I will join you guys if it does not rain. Spoke to Joe today and he is gonna try to make it.


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## psycleridr

stoked said:


> I will join you guys if it does not rain. Spoke to Joe today and he is gonna try to make it.


Nice. I am looking forward to it.


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## stoked

I heard from another rider yesterday that HTT is rescheduled for Sept 25th. Most likely grand fondo being on sept 18 now. Could someone confirm this? I could not find solid info on CJBC Home: Central Jersey Bicycle Club, Inc.


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## climbingcue

stoked said:


> I heard from another rider yesterday that HTT is rescheduled for Sept 25th. Most likely grand fondo being on sept 18 now. Could someone confirm this? I could not find solid info on CJBC Home: Central Jersey Bicycle Club, Inc.


You are correct, the date is reflected on the active.com page. It is now 9/25/11

Bill


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## psycleridr

Wotttttttttttt!?!?!!?!!? 
You would think they could send out an email to reflect this. 
That is frustrating


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## jsedlak

I just got an email saying it was cancelled?


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## ckelly49

jsedlak said:


> I just got an email saying it was cancelled?


So did I. Bummer, I am feeling a lot stronger than last year and was really looking forward to it.


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## ROAD&DIRT

I'm looking on the CJBC blog web page and I see as of 08/29 to following discussion

Mon Aug 29, 2011 11:07 pm
jeiseman
Moderator

Re: HTT
I just got a message from Robin indicating that he's canceling the Hillier Than Thou ride for this year. We will be sending out refunds to everyone that registered.
CJBC Message Board: Central Jersey Bicycle Club, Inc.

I also see the event has been removed from the CJBC web page calendar and the new posting
Hillier Than Thou 
Sunday, September, 2012
Enjoy breathtaking views as you ride the hills of NJ 
CJBC Events - Central Jersey Bicycle Club, Inc.


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## psycleridr

Yep it is cancelled according to website. I guess there will be a rash of registrations for the Gran Fondo, myself included!
I am very disappointed though. was looking forward to it and some of those climbs




OR maybe just hit Bear Mtn through Harriman ?


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## stoked

How about we do our own hillier ride? Anyone here who knows the route looking to lead some of us who are not going to do the fondo?


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## AlanE

stoked said:


> How about we do our own hillier ride? Anyone here who knows the route looking to lead some of us who are not going to do the fondo?


Here's the route from a couple years ago - should be hilly enough for you
Bike Route Toaster


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## climbingcue

stoked said:


> How about we do our own hillier ride? Anyone here who knows the route looking to lead some of us who are not going to do the fondo?


Here is the route from last year, I was really looking forward to this ride this year. 

Hillier Than Thou 2010 1st Place Overall by climbingcue at Garmin Connect - Details


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## psycleridr

So who is up for just doing the ride on our own? I would be in. 

but Climbingcue can't come  (1st place - Pffffff)


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## stoked

psycleridr said:


> So who is up for just doing the ride on our own? I would be in.
> 
> but Climbingcue can't come  (1st place - Pffffff)


If no one volunteers to lead then we could do our "little" loop via 9W - Harriman park-Bear Mtn.


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## psycleridr

I think Harriman it will be as no one seems to be responding


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## ROAD&DIRT

I received my refund check Friday... I was kind of sad, I know I posted the concelation and read it on the web-site but I was hoping that it would some how some way be postponed to another date... oh-well I guess we need to wait unitl next year


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## soileauj

What was the climbing elevation for 2010?


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## soileauj

BTW, here's a good climbing ride in Westchester,CT. Our version of Hillier Than Thou. Did this one in the rain unfortunately.

Hillier Than Thou by soileauj at Garmin Connect - Details


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## soileauj

This ride will get you climbing Bear Mountain and Harriman State Park.

Untitled by soileauj at Garmin Connect - Details


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