# Controlling your temper in traffic. Any tips?



## TrevorInSoCal (Mar 31, 2003)

Any tips for keeping one's mouth in check whilst dealing with idiot drivers?

I'm generally not an angry person, but I get a jekyll/hide thing going on while on the bike on the street.

Example: Riding to the grocery store tonight a car pulled out of a side street and nearly hit me. I swerved, they got on the brakes at the last minute, your usual adrenaline-pumping, "oh sh*t" moment. Had a handlebar light, and multiple blinky-lights, so they really had no excuse for not seeing me. My immediate, almost instinctual reaction flip the bird and scream profanities at the offending car. It's like it happens automatically before I can even begin to think rationally about it. 

That's certainly not going to accomplish any good, and probably doesn't do much to engender good feelings towards cyclists among drivers. What do I gotta do to keep those reactions in check when the adrenalin is flowing and I've got the whole reptilian-brain ffight-or-flight thing going on?

In retrospect, the safer maneuver would have been to swerve to the right up the side street, instead of out around in front of them. Should probably work on those emergency avoidance techniques as well...

-Trevor


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## arctic hawk (May 17, 2003)

TrevorInSoCal said:


> Any tips for keeping one's mouth in check whilst dealing with idiot drivers?
> 
> I'm generally not an angry person, but I get a jekyll/hide thing going on while on the bike on the street.
> 
> ...


I tend to give silly drivers the "stare". I am a happy go lucky sort & have not cursed at people aloud or flipped one YET. 
I run with a Cateye blinky light and the back bottom portion on the legs of my track pants have reflective tape as well. I hope I am very visible as local driver in Montreal, QC are not used to seeing riders at night in this time of the year. Still to cold for most to be out on the bikes.
My sense of self preservation has increased over the years & parts of my commute take place on the sidewalks especially on portions where the cars are moving at 50-55mph next to my handlebars.


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## 633 (Feb 10, 2004)

*You don't know who you're dealing with*

Occasionally, I'm tempted to scream at someone who does something really stupid, but it wouldn't accomplish a whole lot. And you don't know who you're dealing with. Odds are, it's just someone who pulled a stupid move and feels bad about it, just like I do in the car sometimes. But you never know. The guy could be packin', or it could be some pride-fueled moron who thinks he has to show up anyone who "disrespects" him, could be someone raging at his boss and you're the thing that makes him snap. We're pretty vulnerable out there. So I just try to ride on and let it go.


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## biknben (Jan 28, 2004)

*Depends on what the driver is quilty of...*

If driver does something as a result of stupidity, I will usually throw a hand up and shake my head. Kinda like a "what were you thinking" type gesture.

If they are doing something as a result of impatience, I give them the "stare". I get those who start to pull out towards me before I've actually ridden past. Or the ones who don't stop at a stop sign until they are sticking out in my path.

When a driver commits an obvious/deliberate act of agression, I may flip out at any moment. Stuff like screaming while hanging out of window, or throwing stuff at me. The last time it happened, I nearly took off some a-hole's side mirror. Don't worry, it's only happened a few time in 15+ years.


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## daveIT (Mar 12, 2004)

*read*

Read a book like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" or something by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It puts a lot in perspective. Local library should have some...give it a try.

"Sometimes it is necessary to respond strongly, but this can be done without anger. Anger is not necessary. It has no value." - Dalai Lama


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## TypeOne (Dec 28, 2001)

*all it takes*

is a bad experience with a driver. I find that near-collisions don't cause me to become more angry and explosive when I'm riding, but instead make me feel even more vulnerable and defensive, and more able to let things go. I once chased a driver and caught him at the next light, where he veered out in front of me in an attempt to knock me over. Rather than get angrier and escalate it further, I got scared and realized that I was pretty stupid to have responded the way I did. 
Still, it is hard to "let it go" in the moment sometimes. I try to tell myself that if someone is driving stupidly, it will catch up with them somewhere, sometime. Karma.
I don't have a hot temper but you're right, that adrenaline rush can override your higher thought processes.


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## Fredrico (Jun 15, 2002)

Returned to Washington, DC after ten years of living in two small cities, and was surprised at how easy it is to negotiate traffic in downtown DC. That is entirely because the streets can't be negotiated at speeds much over 25-30 mph, speeds not much higher than bicycle speeds. Of course one must be vigilant, move with and respect the other traffic, know the rules but never take them for granted. This is very much the same survival tactic as wild animals in the jungle or birds in flight. They always seem to quite naturally, with athletic grace, avoid each other in the common habitat. Their exceptional confrontations are usually not by chance, but by design.

That's the way to ride a bike through a city. You monitor continuously the movements of the other vehicles and people in your path and to either side. You observe their trajectories relative to your path, whether your paths will converge, if so who will get there first, and if it's too close to call, which direction to take evasive action, knowing that the converging vehicle might very well change speeds abruptly if the driver sees you.

Big four wheeled vehicles' movements are highly predictable compared to walkers and cyclists. The cyclist has plenty of time to decide his unfolding options as he moves along with this flow of inferior, smoking, belching, lurching machines driven by spoiled looking men and women, sitting behind glass in air conditioned comfort, wondering what the hell they're doing here, impatiently inching their way to some destination, bumper to bumper with others doing the same thing. The cyclist just gets on his bike and goes anywhere he wants with no petty delays. His small footprint puts him on another level from the motorized vehicles. He slips through cracks that stack up cars for miles. He laughs at the motorists trapped in their plight.

A shout is the only noise a cyclist can make, so it's okay to give out a warning or announce your presence. The added advantage is, unlike the abstract and largely meaningless musical tone of car horns, a cyclist can shout words containing specific information, which, if not always helpful to the recipient, at least shows some respect. My experience has been that when a driver pulls out in front of me, either he didn't see me at all, or mis-judged my speed, thinking he had time to make it and surprised that I was on him so quickly. At night a driver might think a bicyclist with a headlamp might just be a guy out walking his dog with a flashlight.

Ever since I terrorized two girls one night on a totally dark street, I've always run under the assumption that nobody sees a cyclist at night. Too small, too quiet, lights aren't bright enough. The girls were crossing the street and weren't aware of my presence until we were about 10 feet apart. I must have been going about 20 mph.

So keep those emergency avoidance techniques going, and ride without fear of these inefficient, reptilian monoliths, knowing you can brake, accelerate, turn, and maneuver virtually at will, while they can't. And have pity on these poor souls who have no other means of transportation.


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## slow4now (Oct 1, 2003)

*I caddie'd for him one time....*



daveIT said:


> Read a book like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" or something by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It puts a lot in perspective. Local library should have some...give it a try.
> 
> "Sometimes it is necessary to respond strongly, but this can be done without anger. Anger is not necessary. It has no value." - Dalai Lama


He stiffed me on the tip but told me I would recieve total enlightenment in my next life...So I have that going for me.....

Sorry I could resist...


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## Sexly (Jun 3, 2003)

I don't let any driver push me around. Its pretty obvious when someone is oblivious to you and thats just as dangerous as them deliberately swerving at you. I hate inattentive drivers, as a cyclist and as a driver. I make it my job to make sure they know I am there and if they don't see me they will when I nail the side of their car with my open palm. I have chased down several people that have swerved at me, yelled something at me or thrown something at me. I'm sick of these idiots I have to share the road with, especially the kids around campus driving their $80,000 BMW with frat/sorority stickers on it... they are by FAR the worst offenders.


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## TrevorInSoCal (Mar 31, 2003)

*some good advice...*

Thank you all, read a few good ideas, and it's helpful to know I'm not the only one that gets a little hot-headed in those situations.

Putting myself in the place of the driver I'd probably understand if someone screamed obscenities at me after I nearly clobbered them. Guess I just have to hope they have the same attitude, and learn to hold my tongue next time.

In this case there was no obvious malicious intent, and everybody is inattentive at times, so I feel a little bit foolish about getting so angry. 

I think the key (and a few people hinted at this) is learning to better anticipate drivers' actions thus completely avoiding such situations. Been riding on the streets for quite a few years, but there's always room for improvement...

-Trevor


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## roleur (Feb 15, 2004)

I'm also a big fan of the "hand up, shaking head in disbelief" move. 

Sometimes there's a finger extended, sometimes the thumb and first three fingers are touching (if you want to see what this looks like, check out Zabel when get gets cut off in a sprint by some neo-pro).

Other times, if I'm in a temperate mood, I'll pull up to them at the next light (if possible) and calmly ask them if they cut me off on purpose, or just because they were driving inattentively.

And once, when I went down, I just pulled out the cell phone and called in their license plate to the cops.

Of course, I've also done less civil things, but I'll not go into that here.

Remember, "the dude abides..."


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## Dave_Stohler (Jan 22, 2004)

Back when I used to commute regularly on a busy road filled with impatient morons, I devised a simple device that prevented sideswipes. I put a piece of flexible 1/2" hose about 9 inches long perpendicularly, lashed on the rails under my saddle. Them, I slid a bright yellow fiberglass driveway marker down the tube, so that it stuck out about 3' to my left. Kept cars a full arm's length away from me at all times.
Once, after some ******* decided to graze my marker stick, I added a small old screwdriver blade onto the end, held on with a hose clamp. I figured that the next time some ******* decided to sideswipe me, I'll have a paint sample to show the cops. Never had another problem after that.


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## TrevorInSoCal (Mar 31, 2003)

Dave_Stohler said:


> Back when I used to commute regularly on a busy road filled with impatient morons, I devised a simple device that prevented sideswipes. I put a piece of flexible 1/2" hose about 9 inches long perpendicularly, lashed on the rails under my saddle. Them, I slid a bright yellow fiberglass driveway marker down the tube, so that it stuck out about 3' to my left. Kept cars a full arm's length away from me at all times.
> Once, after some ******* decided to graze my marker stick, I added a small old screwdriver blade onto the end, held on with a hose clamp. I figured that the next time some ******* decided to sideswipe me, I'll have a paint sample to show the cops. Never had another problem after that.



I've seen similar devices used by touring cyclists before. Problem is that'd prevent me from lanesplitting in between lights in heavy traffic (That's a rarity around here, but I think that's safer in some situations 'cause you're less likely to get nailed by right-turning drivers.), and it does nothing to prevent drivers coming out from side streets and nailing you.

Basically what it amounts to is I'm simply gonna have to hone my "radar" skills, and control my temper. Beyond that, if my number is up, there's not a whole lot I can do to prevent it. It's the "radar" and temper-control I need to work on...

-Trevor


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## BIKE+MEDIC (Mar 12, 2004)

TrevorInSoCal said:


> Thank you all, read a few good ideas, and it's helpful to know I'm not the only one that gets a little hot-headed in those situations.
> 
> Putting myself in the place of the driver I'd probably understand if someone screamed obscenities at me after I nearly clobbered them. Guess I just have to hope they have the same attitude, and learn to hold my tongue next time.
> 
> ...


One thing I always try to remember, 2000lbs beats 20lbs every time. Be defensive not offensive. Keep it out of the gutter if you can help it.


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## Sketchy One (Mar 4, 2004)

*Bikes and Cars...*

I'm with you there Sexly. A nice open palm on a quarter panel will make any careless driver pull their head out of their ass! In Chicago we have bike lanes all over the place and my favorite thing is when drivers use it as a turn lane without signaling. Happens everyday on my commute to work without fail. A stare works most of the time to get the point across. The worst offenders, in my opinion, are cabbies. They are on the road more than anyone and they are the ones that don't drive predictably at all. Rolling stops, no signals, pull in the bike lanes to pick-up/drop-off fares. I back handed a cab the other night on my way home as he was pulling into the bike lane going the same speed that I was going. It was either smack him or get squished between him and some parked cars. I am a big believer in Karma and taking is light, but when you ride everyday and the same things happen even when you ride predictably (ie actually stopping at lights and stop signs) these things still happen. I ride defensively while riding offensively, gotta have a good mix of the two. Keep your head up scan the road 12 seconds ahead and look for exit routes for potential accidents waiting to happen. People will use their cell phones, change their CDs, drink their coffee and not watch the road, it's our job to make sure we stick around for the next days' commute.


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## cmgauch (Oct 11, 2002)

*It's a constant battle - but you're onto something here*

When the adrenaline spikes you WILL go into survival/fight/flee mode. That is a good thing from an evolutionalry perspective.

Recognizing that your better judgement might be impared by that spike is a key element to calming down after.

I have failed many times in controlling my anger at being nearly crushed by some A-hole in their vehicle, but these are not stories for an on-line forum.

Mostly, I try to recognize that most of these drivers are in space, inattentive, huried, dialing, lighting a cigarette, etc. Only 1% (if that) are truly evil. Then I try to think of my loved ones. It doesn't always work, but it's always worth a try.

Among my self preservation tools:
- a VERY loud "Yoooo!", a the first hint of foolishness (This worked twice on my way in today).
- knowing how fragile my life and health is.
- in times of poor visibiity, a helmet mounted 10W light. I shine it breifly right in the shocked faces of inattentive or uncaring drivers. Use their ill-adjusted mirrors to help if need be. Cars approaching from side streets get this treatment automatically. Very effective. 
- I use a blinkie or two out back as well, but sometimes I think they mesmorize the idiots & enflame the 1%ers.
- smacking some metal with an open hand.
- in a tight spot: hand on the brake, ready to adopt the "downhill mtn position" for the inevitable nose wheelie stop.
- mainly defensive riding, but I am from NJ & by nature offensive.
- mace, tucked right into the leg of my shorts where I can grab it quick. Luckily, I've never needed it.
- I don't skip many gym workouts.

- Chris


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## jrm (Dec 23, 2001)

*Set the presedence*



TrevorInSoCal said:


> Any tips for keeping one's mouth in check whilst dealing with idiot drivers?
> 
> I'm generally not an angry person, but I get a jekyll/hide thing going on while on the bike on the street.
> 
> ...


RIDE DEFENSIVELY,Make eye contact, dont split lanes, use signals and remember your at an disadvantage when it comes to escalation of an situation.


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## macalu (Jan 16, 2003)

*I recommend...*

THE STARE. Sometimes accompanied with THE POINT (make sure it is obviously THE POINT and not THE BIRD). Try to look like Uncle Sam or Kitchener sternly advising the young men of the nation to sign up to be slaughtered. Develop the attitude that if you react with anger by yelling or swearing it is a defeat. Practice and good luck.


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## pawistik (Feb 16, 2003)

I personally like THE AIR HORN. I bought it as a preventative measure to let vehicles know I'm there when they look at me, assume I'm moving so slow as to be equivalent to a standstill, then promptly pull out in front of me when I'm humming along at 45km/hr. However, in those situations I'm far too busy braking, avoiding, fearing for my life, that the horn usually gets used after the fact. It's nice to have a means to vent my frustration that does not involve yelling & flipping the bird (which I too often resort to). Suprises the heck out of them.


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## slowrider (Mar 12, 2004)

*Car Idiots*

How about the idiots that like to ride next to you, then slam their brakes. I always give them the finger. Everytime some idiot acts stupid in his car, the traffic light always seem to change before I catch up to them. I have had some of my best sprints trying to catch up to idiots waiting for the light to change back to green. I know they see me coming because I'm 6'2 and 200 pounds. Oh yeah, chasing them is not the smartest thing, but it makes me feel better. 


TrevorInSoCal said:


> Any tips for keeping one's mouth in check whilst dealing with idiot drivers?
> 
> I'm generally not an angry person, but I get a jekyll/hide thing going on while on the bike on the street.
> 
> ...


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## Rollo Tommassi (Feb 5, 2004)

*Expect Ignorance, Anticipate Stupidity*

That is my motto. Been riding in the city for 20years - I think that the 'sense' of being in traffic is very hard to teach. All the tips here are great. 

The only other trick I know is when in tight traffic, keep an eye on the passenger side front tire of the car directly beside and just ahead of you on your left. The slightest move to the right will indicate a turn, even before the body of the car actually moves.

Remember, you can be on fire with flames shooting off your head, and the driver will say "I thought I smelled something burning, but I didn't see anyone on a bike!"


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## arctic hawk (May 17, 2003)

pawistik said:


> I personally like THE AIR HORN. I bought it as a preventative measure to let vehicles know I'm there when they look at me, assume I'm moving so slow as to be equivalent to a standstill, then promptly pull out in front of me when I'm humming along at 45km/hr. However, in those situations I'm far too busy braking, avoiding, fearing for my life, that the horn usually gets used after the fact. It's nice to have a means to vent my frustration that does not involve yelling & flipping the bird (which I too often resort to). Suprises the heck out of them.


Thta's a great idea! Since I always have my back pack, it would not add to anything to hook it up on one of the shoulder straps & let some guy/girl have it! That combined with the stare & head shake!


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## pawistik (Feb 16, 2003)

arctic hawk said:


> hook it up on one of the shoulder straps & let some guy/girl have it! QUOTE]
> 
> Arctic Hawk,
> This is the one I use:
> ...


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## arctic hawk (May 17, 2003)

pawistik said:


> arctic hawk said:
> 
> 
> > hook it up on one of the shoulder straps & let some guy/girl have it! QUOTE]
> ...


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## TrevorInSoCal (Mar 31, 2003)

*Coincidentally...*



pawistik said:


> I personally like THE AIR HORN. I bought it as a preventative measure to let vehicles know I'm there when they look at me, assume I'm moving so slow as to be equivalent to a standstill, then promptly pull out in front of me when I'm humming along at 45km/hr. However, in those situations I'm far too busy braking, avoiding, fearing for my life, that the horn usually gets used after the fact. It's nice to have a means to vent my frustration that does not involve yelling & flipping the bird (which I too often resort to). Suprises the heck out of them.


A friend of mine who used to bike-commute in Ottowa recommended one of those to me. It arrived about a week ago. I've had occasion to use it a couple times since, and somehow it's much more satisfying than spewing profanities .

There's a school I ride past on my commute where drivers are *constantly* pulling out of one particular driveway without looking. It's happened enough that I'm generally prepared for it now, but it still feels great to give a good blast on the air horn as your swerving around them.

Only one problem with the horn so far. I don't have any floor pumps that do schrader (My pump head busted apart long ago so I replaced it with a Silca head.), and I don't have any schrader compatible guages that go up to 80psi, so I can't really use a frame pump.

-Trevor


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## ET_SoCal (Jul 1, 2003)

pawistik said:


> http://www.mec.ca/Products/product_...337&PRODUCT<>prd_id=17665&bmUID=1081229314603


I'd like to get one of those, but problem is I can only find it (Mail order/Internet) at that company in Canada, the $21.00 is a good price, but then to ship into USA is another $20.00, that end's up over $40.00.... Now not such a good price...

Anywhere in USA that would be less $$$ ?


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## pawistik (Feb 16, 2003)

*Cdn $$*



ET_SoCal said:


> I'd like to get one of those, but problem is I can only find it (Mail order/Internet) at that company in Canada, the $21.00 is a good price, but then to ship into USA is another $20.00, that end's up over $40.00.... Now not such a good price...
> 
> Anywhere in USA that would be less $$$ ?


That's 21 Canuck dollars, so about $16 US, and about $31 US shipped. Boy, they really soak the American's on shipping! I know other places carry them, just do some searching & you'll find it.


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## ET_SoCal (Jul 1, 2003)

*I Blame Canada*



pawistik said:


> ... they really soak the American's...


  (5 characters minimum?)
<img src=https://www.spscriptorium.com/SPinfo/BigFinish.jpg></img>


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## pawistik (Feb 16, 2003)

Ha ha ha. ;(

I had an e-mail from Samui Corp., the makers of the Air Zound Air Horn. They suggested trying Delta Cycle: www.deltacycle.com as an American source for the air horn.

By the way, they are also sending a replacement hose for me to replace the one I have that cracked after exposure to sunlight. Apparently my model of horn is old & they've improved things since then. Regardless, this makes me a pretty happy commuter.

Cheers


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