# Won my commute today...



## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

Won my commute today. Passed everyone I saw. Completely demoralized a newbie riding to work in hospital scrubs when I blew by him starting at an intersection, then dropped him hard as he was stuggling to catch my wheel (isn't that what mirrors are really for?), all while giving the appearance of riding easily. Sexually aroused 3 women joggers as I flexed my calves while standing on a short hill as I passed them. Out ran 2 city busses for over 4 miles. Sprinted to 35 mph, on a fixed gear no less, to make a green light. Certain to have impressed dozens of others with my trackstanding, sprinting, and cornering skills. Vital stats: ave. 19.6 mph; 33 miles, top speed 37 (down hill).

How did you all do? Any other commuter champions today?


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## My Own Private Idaho (Aug 14, 2007)

You're the man!


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## bikenerd (Jan 22, 2004)

Commuting is a stage race that never ends. You just won this morning's stage - this afternoon you're mine. Congrats on your brief time in yellow.


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

Nice but don't forget, "Somedays you're the windshield, somedays you're the bug".


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## old_fuji (Mar 16, 2009)

i don't have anywhere to commute to


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## JCavilia (Sep 12, 2005)

*you win*

I'm not in your league. 19.6 mph for my 6-mile mostly flat commute is a good day. Pretty much have to hit all the lights to do that, and have no headwind. I ride fixed, too.



> Sexually aroused 3 women joggers as I flexed my calves while standing on a short hill as I passed them


How could you tell?


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

It only counts if you get to kiss two podium girls at the finish.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*don't want to get banned*



JCavilia said:


> I'm not in your league. 19.6 mph for my 6-mile mostly flat commute is a good day. Pretty much have to hit all the lights to do that, and have no headwind. I ride fixed, too.
> 
> How could you tell?


I'd get banned if I got into that. 

Along with taking the Yellow Jersey (well, kind of lime green yellow from Performance), I'm quite certain that I'm impressing everyone who sees me. Hard to imagine that the young ladies were not especially impressed. I do shave, you know.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*sure*



bikenerd said:


> Commuting is a stage race that never ends. You just won this morning's stage - this afternoon you're mine. Congrats on your brief time in yellow.


You're on. Don't destroy my self image, now. The only time I don't win is when I don't want to, when I want to save myself to impress people on weekend rides. On the days I choose not to win, I take a secret route.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*not possible*



mohair_chair said:


> It only counts if you get to kiss two podium girls at the finish.


I could, but since I'm at work, I'd be fired for sexual harrassment. The girls would be too distracted for the rest of the day, anyway. People know. I'd don't need a big stage show to remind them.


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## JCavilia (Sep 12, 2005)

Fixed said:


> I'd get banned if I got into that.
> 
> Along with taking the Yellow Jersey (well, kind of lime green yellow from Performance), I'm quite certain that I'm impressing everyone who sees me. Hard to imagine that the young ladies were not especially impressed. I do shave, you know.


Fair enough. Though I think you should be inclusive and tell us how many male onlookers you aroused. At least we wouldn't have to ask how you'd know that.


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

Fixed said:


> I could, but since I'm at work, I'd be fired for sexual harrassment. The girls would be too distracted for the rest of the day, anyway. People know. I'd don't need a big stage show to remind them.


You don't seem to be too concerned about being a city employee sexually arousing citizens on the streets of Fresno.


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## fast ferd (Jan 30, 2009)

Males get aroused when you trackstand at stops.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*;-)*



JCavilia said:


> Fair enough. Though I think you should be inclusive and tell us how many male onlookers you aroused. At least we wouldn't have to ask how you'd know that.


Sorry, I don't track those stats. NTTAWWT My guess is that the men are not so much aroused as just envious.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*not intentional*



mohair_chair said:


> You don't seem to be too concerned about being a city employee sexually arousing citizens on the streets of Fresno.


Well, it's not intentional. When you are a champion commuter, it just happens.


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## JCavilia (Sep 12, 2005)

mohair_chair said:


> You don't seem to be too concerned about being a city employee sexually arousing citizens on the streets of Fresno.


In Fresno, that's a public service. He probably gets a bonus.



> Sorry, I don't track those stats. NTTAWWT My guess is that the men are not so much aroused as just envious.


That's an excellent spin to put on it.


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## JCavilia (Sep 12, 2005)

old_fuji said:


> i don't have anywhere to commute to


Hey, Fuji, that's a b*tch. Lotta hard times goin' around. Best of luck.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*so be it*



fast ferd said:


> Males get aroused when you trackstand at stops.


Well, there's only so much you can do. Maybe I should fumble around and fall once in a while, so the public is not overwhelmed. Making people laugh is a worthy cause, too.


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## slowrider (Mar 12, 2004)

I'm jealous because I see nothing but cars on my commute. I've seen 2 commuters this year. What happen to all of those people that were mad at the price of gas. There were 2 guys that I use to see in the morning last year. But I have not seen them at all this year. 

Fixed, If that's what get's you out of bed to commute, keep doing it. For me, it's the bowl of ice cream that I destroy everyday after commuting.


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## old_fuji (Mar 16, 2009)

JCavilia said:


> Hey, Fuji, that's a b*tch. Lotta hard times goin' around. Best of luck.


i suppose i could give my uncle a call and tell him to log onto RBR for me, so i can commute to his house and poast from there.


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## Scot_Gore (Jan 25, 2002)

*Congrats *

We all do this don't we. 

Sometimes I think I'm weird for some of the things that come into my mind durring my commute. But I'm beginning to think that to combat the routine of riding the same road, at the same time, in the same direction over and over again, we all begin to play fun little games with ourselves. 

I bet many of us have named the regulars we see. I have Headtube (the guy riding what must be a 65CM frame), Torpedo (on the lay down recumbent), Smiling Granny (60+ lady who's always happy), Champion of Mexico (latin guy always in the drops, going fast, street clothes, no helmet, old beater), and more.

Anyone have a "Commuting Naturalist" game they play with themselves. I often find myself counting the unique species I spot on the commute. Anything above 15 is a big day. Turkey are my "bonus points" animal. The Osprey's came back this week. There was a failed nest on my commute. I've wondered if it's the same pair trying again (or just hanging out) or if a new pair have moved in to try the spot. 

Scot


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*yup*



Scot_Gore said:


> We all do this don't we.
> 
> Sometimes I think I'm weird for some of the things that come into my mind durring my commute. But I'm beginning to think that to combat the routine of riding the same road, at the same time, in the same direction over and over again, we all begin to play fun little games with ourselves.
> 
> ...


Yes, of course this is entirely tongue in cheek, facetious, self deprecating, and for fun. It's a bit of a spinoff of the "chasing instinct" thread. 

I'm not witty enough to have created names for people I see. It's more like "the old dude in white," "the walking guys always wearing black in the middle of the street that won't get the heck out of my way," etc. 

I see hundreds of rabbits, occasionally a coyote, and plain old birds. Have to get up into the foothills and mountains around here to see much interesting.


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## paulg (May 21, 2002)

This was a great thread! LOL


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*others*



old_fuji said:


> i suppose i could give my uncle a call and tell him to log onto RBR for me, so i can commute to his house and poast from there.


Move to Washington DC and commute with MB1. However, you do realize that his "commute" these days is to Florida and back.


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## Scot_Gore (Jan 25, 2002)

"the old dude in white," Mr. Clean

"the walking guys always wearing black in the middle of the street that won't get the heck out of my way," DEVO (remember they wore traffic cones on their head)


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*thanks*



Scot_Gore said:


> "the old dude in white," Mr. Clean
> 
> "the walking guys always wearing black in the middle of the street that won't get the heck out of my way," DEVO (remember they wore traffic cones on their head)


Thanks. Here are few more:

- guy riding the 3 wheeler icecream vendor bike
- guy in hospital scrubs who I demoralized this morning
- misc. guys riding beat up Walmart mountain bikes on the way to their landscaping jobs
- stupid homeless guy on bike who rode around the railroad crossing arms and almost got run over by the Amtrak train at 60 mph
...


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## Scot_Gore (Jan 25, 2002)

- guy riding the 3 wheeler icecream vendor bike
Ice Cube

- guy in hospital scrubs who I demoralized this morning
Zach Braff

- misc. guys riding beat up Walmart mountain bikes on the way to their landscaping jobs
I suspect my Champion of Mexico is something like these guys and what merits the name is the Road Bike and Speed he maintains. On my commute these guys are a little too ubiquitous to merit names. Maybe "The Lawn Squad" 

- stupid homeless guy on bike who rode around the railroad crossing arms and almost got run over by the Amtrak train at 60 mph
Darwin


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*very good!*



Scot_Gore said:


> - guy riding the 3 wheeler icecream vendor bike
> Ice Cube
> 
> - guy in hospital scrubs who I demoralized this morning
> ...


You're good. Too bad they don't need comedy writers any more, now that everything is "reality" TV. ;-)


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## Leopold Porkstacker (Jul 15, 2005)

Fixed said:


> Certain to have impressed dozens of others with my trackstanding


There’s no real challenge to it with a fixed gear setup.


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## Dajianshan (Jul 15, 2007)

You just about did everything shy of jumping the fountain at Caesar's Palace.


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## snapdragen (Jan 28, 2004)

Dajianshan said:


> You just about did everything shy of jumping the fountain at Caesar's Palace.


That's next week.......

I'm swooning Fixed, you are amazing.


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## feh (Mar 8, 2007)

I lost this morning. Tried to chase down a guy a couple hundred yards ahead of me before we got to an intersection; didn't make it. 

I really wish I could treat such situations less competitively, but something won't let me.


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## macalu (Jan 16, 2003)

Fixed----Great thread. Made my day.

My commute is on something here in NoVa we call the Mt. Vernon Trail. It's a zoo on weekdays. An insame asylum on weekends.

Strangest regular is "one-way bike guy smoking a cig". Walks the bike south each morning. Never seen riding the bike. Returns north, sans bike, in the afternoon. Often seen sitting under a tree smoking a ciggie. We've starting waving to each other. I don't know if I should worry about that.


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## morryjg (Jan 6, 2008)

Awesome thread! I read it yesterday before my ride home and because of it......

My 50th stage of the 100 stage race (goal is 100 commuting days this year) this year went pretty well. The police must have missed my request to have intesections blocked off but I made a few of the lights. I managed to nab sprint points from a Discovery rider, I didn't have the heart to tell him his team had changed jersey's a couple times. I went on a long solo break after that and got the stage win. I got kisses from my podium girl and instead of spraying the crowd down with cheap champagne I drank a nice cold brew.










This morning I named a dude Sammy Hagar because I've ridden by him everyday this week. He has a big blonde fro and always has earbuds plugged in.


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## RagbraiNewB (May 21, 2008)

Fixed, I want to be just like you someday.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*there's always hope*



RagbraiNewB said:


> Fixed, I want to be just like you someday.


There's always hope. I am getting old. Young Contador did beat old Lance this year.

However, with age comes wisdom and cunning, so you'd better be on your toes. We older riders have our ways of winning, despite increasingly inferior physical abilities. Hint, if I remove my frame pump while riding next to you...


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*recharacterize?*



feh said:


> I lost this morning. Tried to chase down a guy a couple hundred yards ahead of me before we got to an intersection; didn't make it.
> 
> I really wish I could treat such situations less competitively, but something won't let me.


Are you sure you "lost"? First of all, the other guy started out 10 minutes ahead of you. Second, he didn't ride as far. Third, I think he ran that light, so he cheated and is disqualified. Fourth, there's always the drug test...


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## feh (Mar 8, 2007)

Fixed said:


> Are you sure you "lost"? First of all, the other guy started out 10 minutes ahead of you. Second, he didn't ride as far. Third, I think he ran that light, so he cheated and is disqualified. Fourth, there's always the drug test...


Thanks Fixed! I feel better now.

Will you be my Dad?


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*thank you!*



snapdragen said:


> That's next week.......
> 
> I'm swooning Fixed, you are amazing.


Thank you. It is gratifying to be recognized as the Champion Commuter that I am. The part about arousing womens is completely incidental and unavoidable. Better stay clear of Fresno if you cannot restrain yourself. ;-)


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## My Own Private Idaho (Aug 14, 2007)

I won my commute today. I rode my bike to work. 



Forgive my father, for I have sinned. Its been two weeks since my last bike-commute....


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