# what's the most jackass thing you've seen commuting?



## FatTireFred (Jan 31, 2005)

for me it was today at 6:05pm, a car with license "UR PWN3D" and a license plate frame that said "all your base are belong to us". wish I had a camera handy


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## wipeout (Jun 6, 2005)

poser bike dude running a red light then flipping off the car that nearly hit him.


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## bigbill (Feb 15, 2005)

Spirit of Aloha


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## Chris H (Jul 7, 2005)

bigbill said:


> Spirit of Aloha


Wow, that one pretty much takes the cake. I can't imagine what would top that one.


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## bigbill (Feb 15, 2005)

Chris H said:


> Wow, that one pretty much takes the cake. I can't imagine what would top that one.


I got some stuff to do tonight. I figured I would exercise the nuklar option right off the bat.


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## Chris H (Jul 7, 2005)

bigbill said:



> I got some stuff to do tonight. I figured I would exercise the nuklar option right off the bat.


Tell me the truth...

Your wallet says Bad Mu%^&%^*er on it doesn't it.


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## StageHand (Dec 27, 2002)

I see this three times a week or so.










I usually turn at the intersection I took the picture from (where the bike lane ends) but I do ride that way if it's after midnight or so.

Not the most jackass thing, but the only picture I've got.


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## Leopold Porkstacker (Jul 15, 2005)

Dumb fat Mexican girl (her arms were as big around as my thighs) this morning driving her burgundy-coloured Pontanic Turd up San Carlos Ave while texting on her cellphone. Not only did she cut in front of me at the last minute without using her turnsignal, but she moved so slowly through the intersection (the light was green) that I wasn’t sure what the f*** she was doing. I caught up to her at the next light, she was still texting her loser-ass jailbird wannabe-gangbanger pedophile boyfriend, I pulled along the left side of her car into the left hand turn lane (I needed to turn left, afterall) and I yelled at the top of my lungs a very obnoxious car horn sounding sound. Even with her Pontanic Turd windows rolled up, it startled the crap out of her. I hope that the law going into effect on July 1st here in Calfornia applies to douchebags texting while driving. Otherwise I’m going to have to start carrying a gun with me when I ride.


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

*Dude!*



Leopold Porkstacker said:


> ..... Otherwise I’m going to have to start carrying a gun with me when I ride.


You don't have to hold back for us.

How do you really feel?!?


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## carbon13 (Dec 23, 2007)

one guy spewing his guts up on the road while still in the drivers seat
and the drunken dudes swinging punches at me on the way home from work at 12am


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## immerle (Nov 6, 2007)

Last summer, I saw a guy climbing a steep hill when his crank arm fell off.
He had toe clips on and the crank arm was dangling from his foot. He wasn't quite sure what to do.
He was just staring at it when he lost momentum, came to a stop and fell over.
But that's more America's funniest home videos that it is jackass.


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## buck-50 (Sep 20, 2005)

About a month ago, I saw a guy crashed out on the sidewalk, his bike sprawled out behind him. He wasn't moving. I didn't see him crash so he'd been there, lying motionless for a while.

After waiting for about 10-15 cars to go past (all of which could have seen this guy), I cross the street, check to see if he's OK, then call an ambulance.

What was jackassed to me was that A LOT of people passed this guy, laying on the sidewalk obviously crashed, and did absolutely nothing. No one f'ing stopped, at least, not until I stopped. Then, some jackass stopped and asked me if I hit the guy.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*jackasses*

Monday evening, headed home on busy urban street. Up ahead, a group of about 5 teenage boys walking on sidewalk on my side toward me. The boys were taking turns pushing each other out in front of cars. Speed limit is 45 there, and cars mostly exceed that. Cars swerving all over to miss them. Then they did the same thing in front me. If they want to remove each other from the gene pool, let 'em at it, but they are not going to take me with them. Had to yell at them.


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## JohnnyTooBad (Apr 5, 2004)

Mild, typical jackass move this morning. Coming up to a traffic light, moving downhill. I'm doing about 25 in the right of 2 lanes, but moved to the left side of the right lane because it's a turn or straight lane at the light, and 90% of the people turn right. Some old fart jacktard in a full size conversion van who is in my lane behind me, moved out to the left and passed me so that he could pull in front of me and slam on his brakes to stop in the line of cars which were brutally obvious well before he started to pass me. I yelled at him as I rode past him.

Speaking of the Aloha picture. I passed a guy on the MUT who was riding a motorcycle on it. Not as bad as a car, but still.....


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

Leopold Porkstacker said:


> I hope that the law going into effect on July 1st here in Calfornia applies to douchebags texting while driving. Otherwise I’m going to have to start carrying a gun with me when I ride.


The new law does NOT apply to texting.


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## mohair_chair (Oct 3, 2002)

I used to see a real heavy set middle-aged guy riding one of those mini-motorcycles on the MUT. You know, the ones that look like something a small monkey would ride at the circus. The guy was huge, and not only was he spilling all over the thing, but he was so cramped, it couldn't possibly have been very fun to ride. But I saw him every couple of days in various places on the MUT. I would have reported him, but he was never in the same place at the same time.


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*yes, but*



mohair_chair said:


> The new law does NOT apply to texting.


Correct, but I saw CHP on television stating that if they saw you doing that, they would cite you for distracted driving, anyway.


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## 2cflyr (Apr 9, 2002)

most jackass item lately:

lady with dog. dog clearly has issues with other dogs, people and bikes. on the MUT. the stupid owner was barely able to restrain the poor animal.


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## abiciriderback (Jun 8, 2005)

Last 5 miles of ride Takes me on a MUT slight downhill. I'm going a pretty good clip up ahead I see 2 women on horses. I try to be polite and get over as far as possible on the other side of the MUT. This lady starts telling me to slow down slow down. I then see the horse starting to freak out up ahead of me about 5 yards. I come to a complete stop she has no control of the horse at all. it is freaking out and all over the MUT. She screaming don't go just stop. so now I'm unclipped waiting. I let in to her "I said what the hell don't you have any control of your horse. Does this happen every time somebody comes up on you". I told her "if she doesn't have control of your horse she shouldn't be on the trail telling people to stop as they approach". Anyways after about waiting there for 10 minutes the horse calmed down enough for me to get by.

Ray Still


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## jd3 (Oct 8, 2004)

This was from my car, but I had to post it.


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## Leopold Porkstacker (Jul 15, 2005)

mohair_chair said:


> The new law does NOT apply to texting.


I hear that Sig-Sauer makes really nice handguns.


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## undies (Oct 13, 2005)

Leopold Porkstacker said:


> I yelled at the top of my lungs a very obnoxious car horn sounding sound.


I'm confused. Was the most jackass thing you or the Mexican girl with the fat arms?


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## undies (Oct 13, 2005)

immerle said:


> Last summer, I saw a guy climbing a steep hill when his crank arm fell off.


Ha-ha, what a jackass!



BTW that actually happened to me once.


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## undies (Oct 13, 2005)

Fixed said:


> Had to yell at them.


That'll teach 'em.


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## undies (Oct 13, 2005)

jd3 said:


> This was from my car, but I had to post it.


That is outstanding :thumbsup:


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## randi_526 (Jun 12, 2008)

Something I see everyday on my commute to work... Mexican men on creaky broken Huffy's riding on the left side of the road (into traffic, directly at me). They always seem confused about why im comming toward them head on, and occasionally yell at me for being in the way. (I'm a white female in a primarily mexican neighborhood.)


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*here too*



randi_526 said:


> Something I see everyday on my commute to work... Mexican men on creaky broken Huffy's riding on the left side of the road (into traffic, directly at me). They always seem confused about why im comming toward them head on, and occasionally yell at me for being in the way. (I'm a white female in a primarily mexican neighborhood.)


I get riders coming at me going the wrong way here, too. Never been yelled at, though. Relying upon my trusty Take a Look mirror, I normally just move all the way out into the traffic lane, if I can, to avoid them.

These riders are also usually dressed in dark colors, no helmet, and with no lighting or reflective material, too. An apppriate description of them might be "statistic."


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## Fixed (May 12, 2005)

*of course!*



undies said:


> That'll teach 'em.


Yes, while up until that point they were hell bent on killing each other, selling drugs, and covering the community with gang symbol graffiti, I'm quite sure that as a result of my rant, they'll all be attending an Ivy League medical school and finding a cure for cancer.


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## Chris H (Jul 7, 2005)

Fixed said:


> I get riders coming at me going the wrong way here, too. Never been yelled at, though. Relying upon my trusty Take a Look mirror, I normally just move all the way out into the traffic lane, if I can, to avoid them.
> 
> These riders are also usually dressed in dark colors, no helmet, and with no lighting or reflective material, too. An apppriate description of them might be "statistic."


No, they are the elusive "Bike Ninja".

I see them on my commute all the time as well.


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## MB1 (Jan 27, 2004)

Coming back from a late lunch today I saw a pair of bike cops running a light. One of them got tagged by an auto running the same light.....

If you don't know how to safely run lights you got no business doing it.

BTW no harm done to anyone-but the driver looked pretty nervous.


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## My Own Private Idaho (Aug 14, 2007)

I left my breakfast at home this morning. At least it had my lunch to keep it company. Does that count?


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## Pablo (Jul 7, 2004)

MB1 said:


> Coming back from a late lunch today I saw a pair of bike cops running a light. One of them got tagged by an auto running the same light......


Was the cop ok? I wonder if, under D.C. law, that's treated like offsettign penalties in foortball.


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## JCavilia (Sep 12, 2005)

*Good story!*



MB1 said:


> Coming back from a late lunch today I saw a pair of bike cops running a light. One of them got tagged by an auto running the same light.....
> 
> If you don't know how to safely run lights you got no business doing it.
> 
> BTW no harm done to anyone-but the driver looked pretty nervous.


'specially since nobody got hurt. But how did they collide if they were both running the light? Somebody must have had a green.


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## bigbill (Feb 15, 2005)

My Own Private Idaho said:


> I left my breakfast at home this morning. At least it had my lunch to keep it company. Does that count?


Well, if we are going there.... When I left the house yesterday morning, it looked foggy. I couldn't see the mountains or the water which isn't that unusual. I thought about wearing my jacket but figured it would be too hot. I opted for the hi viz vest to give me a little more visibility in the fog. About two miles down the road, the fog turned into a light but steady rain. It was 45 degrees. Dressed in shorts, knee warmers, jersey with arm warmers, regular MTB shoes (not wind/waterproof), fingerless gloves, and a vest, I continued on to work (another 19 miles). I arrived wet and close to hypothermia. That was a pretty jackass thing to do.


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## Slim Again Soon (Oct 25, 2005)

*My coworkers want to know...*

... what the heck I'm laughing at!

Thanks, jd3 -- that photo is a hoot.


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## PomPilot (May 17, 2006)

Leopold Porkstacker said:


> ... I hope that the law going into effect on July 1st here in Calfornia applies to douchebags texting while driving. Otherwise I’m going to have to start carrying a gun with me when I ride.


Sure SIG-Sauer makes fine handguns, but don't go looking for a new STI. Thanks to your Kalifornia lawmakers, that firm will no longer sell to anyone in that state.


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## Chain (Dec 28, 2006)

MB1 said:


> Coming back from a late lunch today I saw a pair of bike cops running a light. One of them got tagged by an auto running the same light.....
> 
> If you don't know how to safely run lights you got no business doing it.
> 
> BTW no harm done to anyone-but the driver looked pretty nervous.


Classic..


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## scottyperkins (Jun 18, 2007)

City of San Jose, CA police officer in his patrol car blowing through a red light on a right turn, missing my front wheel by about five feet. Had I not seen him and slowed it would have been ugly.

Yep, he was on his cell phone. I pulled up to him at the next light and he was completely without remorse.


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## Ape0r (Oct 2, 2007)

One time on my way to school I was cruising idly down a MUT leading out of my apartment complex, staring off into the cow fields on my right and thinking about my fish (aquarium), when all of the sudden... I ran headlong into a traffic pole. The pole was about 4' high, so I went over the handlebars and hit the top of it with my stomach, and then sort of slid off the side with the wind knocked out of me.

A few minutes of rest and I was fine, but I did bend up the derailleur hanger pretty good.. guess it hit when the bike fell over. Happily, the wheel was fine. I was on my 36 lb downhill mountain bike at the time.. I'd hate to think what that would do to my carbon roadie!

Oh.. most jackass thing I've SEEN... umm.. sorry, its usually me doing stupid things =).

There was the time a cop gave me a 'warning' for riding my bike on the sidewalk around the drillfield (Virginia Tech). All that did was convince me that I needed to take the much more heavily trafficked sidewalks between buildings =).


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## MTT (Oct 14, 2005)

This past week I was riding home from work and a guy on a bicycle jumped off the curb, and into the bike lane I was in, with out looking and cut me off. Ok not a huge deal, no cars coming, so I went around him. Then at the next stop light- he runs the red (with cars honking)- and goes ahead on the bike trail.

So when I passed him I came up real close and cut in front and looked back. He had no idea what he was doing. Riding in jeans on a 75 degree afternoon should have been a clue that he was probably drunk. Tis the season I guess..............MTT


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## rootfreak (May 17, 2007)

A really jackass thing to do is to throw stuff at cyclists in bike lanes. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else, but I've gotten a lot of crap thrown at me. The most terrifying time was when dudes in an suv doing about 55 or 60 in a 30 threw a beer bottle at me. It actually went behind my back, so that was good. About two months later though, somebody threw a half empty water bottle at me, and it met its mark (it didn't hurt though).


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## B15serv (Apr 27, 2008)

I had a guy the other day pull a decently stupid one. I was riding on the right shoulder toward a red light with about 5 cars already stopped at it. The guy in front of me was in some early 90's lexus and talkig on his cell phone while coming to a stop at the light. The problem is that while he was on his phone he was veering off towards the curve and closing my gap to get through..... i would have stopped if i had been further back but we were both kind of headed for each other. So i figured that the appropriate thing to do would be to kick the side of his car and then stop right away. You shouldve seen the look on this guys face when he thought he hit me. I told him to get off of his phone and drive and that he was lucky nothing worse happened. he had closed off the gap to about 6 inches at that time so its not like i had a choice. I think that everybody should be required to do a 10 mile ride on a bike in order to get their drivers license. Im fortunate in a way because illinois just made some new laws to protect cyclists from cars.... the unfortunate part is that its more of a new punishment since nobody seems to care untill its too late.


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## Doggity (Mar 10, 2006)

randi_526 said:


> Something I see everyday on my commute to work... Mexican men on creaky broken Huffy's riding on the left side of the road (into traffic, directly at me). They always seem confused about why im comming toward them head on, and occasionally yell at me for being in the way. (I'm a white female in a primarily mexican neighborhood.)


We've got LOTS of those, here in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico). We call 'em "DWI bikes'. Which means, either they've had their licenses taken away (which does NOT stop a lot of 'em), and the Huffy is all they have, or the Huffy is all they can afford, and still maintain their blood ethanol levels, or both


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## ilmaestro (May 3, 2008)

Wow, some bad stories here. Having stuff thrown at you? Jeez.

My commute is about 75% bike trail, so I don't have to compete with too many vehicles which is good, but the usual bike trail pedestrians can be a pain. Usually there's just too many people walking side by side blocking the entire path, which half the time I'll either try to just split through or I'll call out to try and get someone to move. They always oblige, but with a look of bewilderment that the "bike trail" actually has people who might want to ride past them on a bike. 

The one situation that does suck though is when someone has a dog or their children with them and just as you're about to pass the dog or child decides to turn/jump right in front of you. I actually hit someone's dog once after slamming on my brakes. The dog was ok and so was my wheel, though the owner knew it was his fault and apologized. 

Overall I can deal with this stuff.


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## MTT (Oct 14, 2005)

ilmaestro said:


> Wow, some bad stories here. Having stuff thrown at you? Jeez.
> 
> My commute is about 75% bike trail, so I don't have to compete with too many vehicles which is good, but the usual bike trail pedestrians can be a pain. Usually there's just too many people walking side by side blocking the entire path, which half the time I'll either try to just split through or I'll call out to try and get someone to move. They always oblige, but with a look of bewilderment that the "bike trail" actually has people who might want to ride past them on a bike.
> 
> ...


Oh man I hate that! I work Sundays and the bone-heads seem to come out like roaches! A guy walking in the bike lane today as I was riding home, with his dog, and as I went around him the dog lunged at me. Unreal how stupid some people are.................MTT


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